`` my daily journey. [#] `-
Light my path
10:24:00 pm
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Light my path
4:58:00 pm
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Light my path
11:15:00 pm
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Light my path
11:00:00 pm
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No, you’re not the one for me
You’re different, don’t look into my eyes.
There’s nothing I can do, I can’t erase you from my heart.
I’m sorry for loving you, depending on you.
I love you, please love me.
Geu Rae Do... Sarang Ee Da (It’s Still… Love)
Light my path
8:03:00 pm
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Light my path
7:17:00 pm
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Light my path
2:15:00 am
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I dont really know love
I wished that you wouldnt be my love
I hoped that it would be a passing by fate
I thought that it was a wrong start
I wished that you wouldn't be my love
I hoped that it would be a passing by fate
Now if it's not you, there is no meaning to anything
The above is a link to the site where I got some of the Full House soundtracks from. I'd tried to buy the soundtrack from an online website, but it is out of stock. *Sigh* Oon Myung (Fate) is my favourite song. Even though I do not understand Korean, the beauty of the song is brought out very nicely by the voice of the singer. The tone of the singer and the way the song is expressed, it brings out the anguish and pain.
I am currently at home, sitting in the dining room, with my laptop.
Though it is a little boring, but not that much, with not much to do; I am very glad for this rest, even if I am not doing anything productive. I think my dad is very, very bored. There's only so much you can do at home, with the television. Even with Starhub Cable, there isn't much to watch after awhile, as most of the time, it is showing re-runs of episodes from the night before.
Light my path
1:09:00 pm
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每次你的理由都一样
我说我会是你可以依靠的肩膀
如果我不是你可以停靠的地方
每次你的理由都一样
我说我会是你可以停靠的肩膀
如果我不是你可以停靠的地方
如果我不是你可以停靠的地方
做你的男人
东京 纽约 每个地点
让我做你的男人
说谎 is my favourite song out of the whole album. The 2nd song is great too!! Once again, Jeff Chang has shone through, with his latest album. I love all of his songs. The lyrics speak of love, pain, hope, crushed feelings....etc, brought out very well by Jeff Chang's voice. I've been listening to his songs, ever since primary school. I can't wait for his next album and his next visit to Singapore. I'd missed his last 2 performances here.
Light my path
5:50:00 pm
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Light my path
2:18:00 pm
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Light my path
11:12:00 pm
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Light my path
11:38:00 pm
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:: All Out Of Love ::
I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I want you to come back and carry me home
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
What are you thinking of?
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
Light my path
6:52:00 pm
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by Guys Next Door
yeahh..
I've been waitin for you (waitin for you)
Girl I've been saving my love all this time
I've been waitin for you (waitin for you)
Now that I've found you I just cant let u go (cant let you go)
Spoken: girl I love you so... I've been waitin for you
I've been waitin for you (waitin for you)
I've been waitin for you
Light my path
11:55:00 am
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Light my path
10:48:00 pm
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Light my path
11:44:00 pm
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Light my path
11:00:00 pm
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Light my path
10:53:00 pm
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Light my path
11:13:00 pm
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Light my path
12:22:00 am
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-Here With Me (Ruoruni Kenshin Fanfiction)
Light my path
10:31:00 pm
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In this world full of music and sounds,
I am still out of tune.
There is beauty to be found
I am so out of tune.
There is beauty to be found
This piece reflects what I have always felt.
Light my path
6:26:00 pm
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This is one of my favourite songs from the soundtrack.....=) If you are interested, you can listen to it here: http://music.laosmile.com/play.php?id=626
The above are links to some of the songs in the soundtrack..=)
Light my path
11:07:00 pm
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In a world, with multitudes of people,
This came out this morning while the Save Your Last Dance for Me OST, was playing from my ear phones.
Light my path
1:19:00 am
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Light my path
10:53:00 pm
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Light my path
7:42:00 pm
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Saturday, 30 September 2006
비 Bi (Rain) from 이죽일놈의사랑 (Ijuksa) A Love to Kill
비 Bi (Rain) from 풀하우스 Full House
비 Bi (Rain) from 풀하우스 Full House
Light my path
10:24:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Pretty bored.
My laptop acted up again............auto typing the letter 'e', by itself. Really very annoying when I am trying to type.
I slept late last night, well, pretty much every night....=p Oppzzz.........
Woke up around 1050 and decided to go back to dream land.
I came back to the land of living around 30mins later and could feel a headache lurking in the background. After lazing, ahem, resting for awhile, I got up, popped a panadol extra and waited for it to work its magic. While waiting, I took out my violin bow and practised the exercises which Mr Wong had given me. I feel stupid, just can't get past the handling of the bow.
It was 1238 when I collected the keys to the gym. Had a long work out today too, 2.5 hrs. It was 1500 when I left the gym and returned the keys. I did some thing bad....alright, not bad, but it is partly my fault. I left the gym door opened, only a small crack. But a strong wind blew and the door swung opened with a loud bang. When I got up to close the door, I found it unable to close completely. Uh-oh.....
Yep.
It is officially spoilt...o.O
But it can still be closed, if you used your brains, cum a little experience. I used both and everything is ok. Hoots to the next person who uses the gym......=X
After setting down my stuff, I went to bathe and had a bun for lunch around 1600. Been surfing the Net since then.
The next thing which I'm going to do, is finish up my 이죽일놈의사랑 (Ijuksa) A Love to Kill VCDs. Frankly, I am not looking forward to it anymore. Why? Cuz, I've found out online that it is a sad ending. The female lead died in the end.
Damn.
My laptop acted up again............auto typing the letter 'e', by itself. Really very annoying when I am trying to type.
I slept late last night, well, pretty much every night....=p Oppzzz.........
Woke up around 1050 and decided to go back to dream land.
I came back to the land of living around 30mins later and could feel a headache lurking in the background. After lazing, ahem, resting for awhile, I got up, popped a panadol extra and waited for it to work its magic. While waiting, I took out my violin bow and practised the exercises which Mr Wong had given me. I feel stupid, just can't get past the handling of the bow.
It was 1238 when I collected the keys to the gym. Had a long work out today too, 2.5 hrs. It was 1500 when I left the gym and returned the keys. I did some thing bad....alright, not bad, but it is partly my fault. I left the gym door opened, only a small crack. But a strong wind blew and the door swung opened with a loud bang. When I got up to close the door, I found it unable to close completely. Uh-oh.....
Yep.
It is officially spoilt...o.O
But it can still be closed, if you used your brains, cum a little experience. I used both and everything is ok. Hoots to the next person who uses the gym......=X
After setting down my stuff, I went to bathe and had a bun for lunch around 1600. Been surfing the Net since then.
The next thing which I'm going to do, is finish up my 이죽일놈의사랑 (Ijuksa) A Love to Kill VCDs. Frankly, I am not looking forward to it anymore. Why? Cuz, I've found out online that it is a sad ending. The female lead died in the end.
Damn.
Light my path
4:58:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Friday, 29 September 2006
In dreams and in love, there are no impossiblities.
Light my path
11:15:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Untouchable Lover
How far away, is considered far?
We're under the same vast sky,
Sharing the same world.
Having the same setting...
Yet things couldn't be more different for us.
We couldn't be even more far away
Than this.
You're the glorious moon in the darkened skies,
And the sun by day.
While, I, I am just a flower by the road.
There, yet unseen.
How far away, is considered far?
We're under the same vast sky,
Sharing the same world.
Having the same settings...
Yet things couldn't be more different for us.
We couldn't be even more far away
Than this.
They say, the greatest distance is
Having feelings for the one beside you,
Yet him not knowing it.
But, I think, the worst is
Having the man you love,
Not even knowing that you exist.
Ain't it true?
How far away, is considered far?
We're under the same vast sky,
Sharing the same world.
Having the same settings...
Yet things couldn't be more different for us.
We couldn't be even more far away
Than this.
This love, this strong emotion
Welling up from deep within,
Is yearning, thirsting
To touch her favoured one.
Holding hands.
Fingers combing through your hair.
Caressing your face,
Memorizing each and every
Of your features and expressions
To file away and savour,
During the lonely eternity without you.
Want to taste the warmth of your lips,
Firm and gentle.
Caressing and ravaging.
Warmth and wetness.
Movement in darkness.
It's overwhelming...
Loving you...Knowing you...
Knowing that there's worlds of distance
Between the two of us.
How far away, is considered far?
We're under the same vast sky,
Sharing the same world.
Having the same settings...
Yet things couldn't be more different for us.
We couldn't be even more far away
Than this.
The distance has never been greater
Than this.
We're under the same vast sky,
Sharing the same world.
Having the same setting...
Yet things couldn't be more different for us.
We couldn't be even more far away
Than this.
You're the glorious moon in the darkened skies,
And the sun by day.
While, I, I am just a flower by the road.
There, yet unseen.
How far away, is considered far?
We're under the same vast sky,
Sharing the same world.
Having the same settings...
Yet things couldn't be more different for us.
We couldn't be even more far away
Than this.
They say, the greatest distance is
Having feelings for the one beside you,
Yet him not knowing it.
But, I think, the worst is
Having the man you love,
Not even knowing that you exist.
Ain't it true?
How far away, is considered far?
We're under the same vast sky,
Sharing the same world.
Having the same settings...
Yet things couldn't be more different for us.
We couldn't be even more far away
Than this.
This love, this strong emotion
Welling up from deep within,
Is yearning, thirsting
To touch her favoured one.
Holding hands.
Fingers combing through your hair.
Caressing your face,
Memorizing each and every
Of your features and expressions
To file away and savour,
During the lonely eternity without you.
Want to taste the warmth of your lips,
Firm and gentle.
Caressing and ravaging.
Warmth and wetness.
Movement in darkness.
It's overwhelming...
Loving you...Knowing you...
Knowing that there's worlds of distance
Between the two of us.
How far away, is considered far?
We're under the same vast sky,
Sharing the same world.
Having the same settings...
Yet things couldn't be more different for us.
We couldn't be even more far away
Than this.
The distance has never been greater
Than this.
Light my path
11:00:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Ee Jook Il Nom Eh Sarang (A Love To Kill)
-Lee Soo Young
No, you’re not the one for me
We don’t fit one another.
From the moment I saw you, when you entered my heart
You weren’t the one.
You’re different, don’t look into my eyes.
My feelings are confused, they cannot grow.
Oh oh You were deeply raised from hate.
You laid your roots in the hole you made in my heart.
I love you, please love me.
No, we shouldn’t be like this, we can’t stop this anymore.
There’s nothing I can do, I can’t erase you from my heart.
My tears fall first
If I never saw you, no, if I never met you
This pain never would’ve came.
I’m sorry for loving you, depending on you.
I couldn’t help myself
Oh oh You were deeply raised hate
You laid your roots in the hole you made in my heart.
I love you, please love me.
No, we shouldn’t be like this, we can’t stop this anymore.
I love you, please love me.
No, we shouldn’t be like this, we can’t stop this anymore.
Geu Rae Do... Sarang Ee Da (It’s Still… Love)
-Shin Seong Hoon
When I see love, I walk by it
When I know it’s love, I make an excuse
When I hear love, I ignore it
To cover my cries, I laugh loudly
Love, is my love that bad?
Love brings happiness, but here I am crying
Why me,
why am I hurting so much?
I’d give everything away, if this love was permitted
When love hurts me, I continue to live
When love hurts me, I continue to live
Wiping my tears doesn’t ease the pain
Love, is my love that bad?
Love brings happiness, but here I am crying
Why me, why am I hurting so much?
I’d give everything away, if this love was permitted
Precious things always seem to leave
Precious things always seem to leave
So I’ve kept my feelings hidden
Your aura is so attracting
Lyrics are from: http://www.aheeyah.com/lyrics/
The above songs are my favourite from the Korean drama - Ijuksa (A Love To Kill), starring 비 Bi (Rain). The lyrics are SIMPLY WONDERFUL and the singers' voices are marvellous too! Very fitting for such a drama...=)
I am enraptured by 비 Bi (Rain). He is great in portraying his character, be it in Full House or in Ijuksa (A Love To Kill). The way he uses his facial expressions, to express the character's inner turmoil, to act, to convey unspoken feelings; I can't believe that he is only acting. 비 Bi (Rain/ Jung Ji Hoon) is truly a versatile artiste, be it in dancing, singing or acting. I look forward to more of his works, in each of these areas.
In addition, he will be holding a world tour this coming December, starting from his home country, Korea, going to 12 countries and finishing in May 2007, in Korea. To make things even sweeter, Singapore is one of the 12 countries in which 비 Bi (Rain/Jung Ji Hoon) will be stopping by.
Hurray!!
Yippee!!!!
More information can be found at http://www.rainworldtour.com/
I am planning to go to his concert....=) I can't wait for him to come to Singapore...=D
Your aura is so attracting
That it causes the drunkenness from your love to get worse
I live for this painful love
Lyrics are from: http://www.aheeyah.com/lyrics/
The above songs are my favourite from the Korean drama - Ijuksa (A Love To Kill), starring 비 Bi (Rain). The lyrics are SIMPLY WONDERFUL and the singers' voices are marvellous too! Very fitting for such a drama...=)
I am enraptured by 비 Bi (Rain). He is great in portraying his character, be it in Full House or in Ijuksa (A Love To Kill). The way he uses his facial expressions, to express the character's inner turmoil, to act, to convey unspoken feelings; I can't believe that he is only acting. 비 Bi (Rain/ Jung Ji Hoon) is truly a versatile artiste, be it in dancing, singing or acting. I look forward to more of his works, in each of these areas.
In addition, he will be holding a world tour this coming December, starting from his home country, Korea, going to 12 countries and finishing in May 2007, in Korea. To make things even sweeter, Singapore is one of the 12 countries in which 비 Bi (Rain/Jung Ji Hoon) will be stopping by.
Hurray!!
Yippee!!!!
More information can be found at http://www.rainworldtour.com/
I am planning to go to his concert....=) I can't wait for him to come to Singapore...=D
Light my path
8:03:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
I woke up around 0950 this morning, cracked an eye to see the time and promptly fell back to sleep. It was too early to be up and about, especially on an off day and after a series of late, late nights. I officially got up at 1020, fussed around for awhile and headed down for the gym. It was empty and stayed that way for the 2.5 hours in which I was there. Had a pretty good workout...=)
Yippee.
I went back home to find my eldest sister and father having headaches over the television. For some reason, there are no images when they tried to view channels from Starhub Cable, but all's fine when they changed to channel 5, 8...etc...Weird. After it became apparent that the television refuses to cooperate, they gave up and ate lunch; while I heated up a bun for lunch and went off to bathe.
I lingered around the house till it was 1400 and left for Toa Payoh. Today is the day that I start my violin lessons.
I was 10 minutes early and had to wait another 15 minutes or so, for the previous class to finish. It is so weird. I feel overgrown. I got the impression that most students there are young children. As my teacher began explaining the parts of the violin and debriefed me, I could feel the incoming stress building up. Sense of inadequacy, clumsiness, feeling stupid and slow, stress; all began to wash over me. I was quite stressed out and overwhelmed. I want to learn to play well, but it is an uphill task to begin with, for a violin is a complicated instrument; in addition, I am a slow learner with less than an iota of musical genes. So, this learning process has just become hellish.
Don't get the wong idea. I don't hate, dislike or detest violin. I like it. Just that I am wondering, what have I gotten myself into?
Mr Wong, my teacher has given me 4 exercises to do and practise. I hope I will not flub up. Practice makes perfect, right? I wil put in the work, to get the results. Even though, it will be very difficult (Mr Wong said the learning curve is very steep in the beginning and there are quite a lot of dropouts, not to say that those who managed to survive through the steep stage will definitely play well), I will try my best...=)
Yippee.
I went back home to find my eldest sister and father having headaches over the television. For some reason, there are no images when they tried to view channels from Starhub Cable, but all's fine when they changed to channel 5, 8...etc...Weird. After it became apparent that the television refuses to cooperate, they gave up and ate lunch; while I heated up a bun for lunch and went off to bathe.
I lingered around the house till it was 1400 and left for Toa Payoh. Today is the day that I start my violin lessons.
I was 10 minutes early and had to wait another 15 minutes or so, for the previous class to finish. It is so weird. I feel overgrown. I got the impression that most students there are young children. As my teacher began explaining the parts of the violin and debriefed me, I could feel the incoming stress building up. Sense of inadequacy, clumsiness, feeling stupid and slow, stress; all began to wash over me. I was quite stressed out and overwhelmed. I want to learn to play well, but it is an uphill task to begin with, for a violin is a complicated instrument; in addition, I am a slow learner with less than an iota of musical genes. So, this learning process has just become hellish.
Don't get the wong idea. I don't hate, dislike or detest violin. I like it. Just that I am wondering, what have I gotten myself into?
Mr Wong, my teacher has given me 4 exercises to do and practise. I hope I will not flub up. Practice makes perfect, right? I wil put in the work, to get the results. Even though, it will be very difficult (Mr Wong said the learning curve is very steep in the beginning and there are quite a lot of dropouts, not to say that those who managed to survive through the steep stage will definitely play well), I will try my best...=)
Light my path
7:17:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Tuesday, 26 September 2006
I am annoyed.
And my throat is hurting whenever I speak or swallow.
There was a Live Rain concert at 1500 yesterday (Monday), I'd set the timer to record the concert. Guess what??
The programme started real late, thus I missed the last part of the concert.
Damn it.
In addition, the commericals were sooooo long! Like 3-4mins!
Quite pissed. More than annoyed.
I don't know know what's up with my throat. I am able to speak as per normal, not croaking like a frog; but my throat hurts a lot.
*Pissed off*
I am so enjoying my time alone, without having to go out with other people. I've never been a people person, even now, I am still not; perfectly content to stay by myself, without going out or talking with friends.
I should be born a cave person.
Not really talking sense right now, with regards to the cave person thingy; because, it is like 0215 in the morning. One good thing is that I am typing pretty fast. I love it. I like the way my thoughts flow into my fingers and straight into the screen. Aaaaa.......technology...=)
I am quite enamoured with 비 Bi's (Rain) music. Probably after watching the Korean drama which he starred in - 풀하우스 Full House. It is a great drama serial. I like it as much as 마지막 춤은 나와 함께 (Save Your Last Dance For Me). His fourth album is coming out on 16 Oct 06.
His music is pretty much R&B, I think that means Rock & Ballad. Very cool songs. Great beat, sexy and groovy music, very male voice. It takes time for his songs to grow onto me, as by nature, I am not a very rock music type of person. But once the music gets to me, it's really very cool, his voice and the groovy music, really makes me want to get up and start dancing.
I admire him both as a singer and an actor. I'd read online that he'd had a sad past. And all that he's doing now, is for his mother, who had passed away. Very hardworking man. I admire that. He works very, very hard, to achieve what he now has.
And my throat is hurting whenever I speak or swallow.
There was a Live Rain concert at 1500 yesterday (Monday), I'd set the timer to record the concert. Guess what??
The programme started real late, thus I missed the last part of the concert.
Damn it.
In addition, the commericals were sooooo long! Like 3-4mins!
Quite pissed. More than annoyed.
I don't know know what's up with my throat. I am able to speak as per normal, not croaking like a frog; but my throat hurts a lot.
*Pissed off*
I am so enjoying my time alone, without having to go out with other people. I've never been a people person, even now, I am still not; perfectly content to stay by myself, without going out or talking with friends.
I should be born a cave person.
Not really talking sense right now, with regards to the cave person thingy; because, it is like 0215 in the morning. One good thing is that I am typing pretty fast. I love it. I like the way my thoughts flow into my fingers and straight into the screen. Aaaaa.......technology...=)
I am quite enamoured with 비 Bi's (Rain) music. Probably after watching the Korean drama which he starred in - 풀하우스 Full House. It is a great drama serial. I like it as much as 마지막 춤은 나와 함께 (Save Your Last Dance For Me). His fourth album is coming out on 16 Oct 06.
His music is pretty much R&B, I think that means Rock & Ballad. Very cool songs. Great beat, sexy and groovy music, very male voice. It takes time for his songs to grow onto me, as by nature, I am not a very rock music type of person. But once the music gets to me, it's really very cool, his voice and the groovy music, really makes me want to get up and start dancing.
I admire him both as a singer and an actor. I'd read online that he'd had a sad past. And all that he's doing now, is for his mother, who had passed away. Very hardworking man. I admire that. He works very, very hard, to achieve what he now has.
Light my path
2:15:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Friday, 22 September 2006
Oon Myung (Fate)
-풀하우스 Full House Soundtrack
I dont really know love
I didn't know it would come to me like this
My heart doesn't act like it wants to
In front of my love
If I knew I was going to be like this,
I wouldn't have started in the first place
Like a fool, I am regretting this late
I wished that you wouldnt be my love
I wished that it wouldnt be you
You deceited me,
Telling me that it's not love
I hoped that it would be a passing by fate
Because painful wounds will be left on me
But even when I know this,
I am still greedy
It keeps getting me sad
I thought that it was a wrong start
I thought so easily
I believed that I could always call you
What should I do?
Where did it go wrong?
I need to avoid this love
But I yearn for everything about you
I wished that you wouldn't be my love
I wished that it won't be you
You deceited me,
Telling me that it's not love
I hoped that it would be a passing by fate
Because painful wounds will be left on me
But even when I know this,
I am still greedy
It keeps getting me sad
Now if it's not you, there is no meaning to anything
I can't contain myself anymore
The fact that I have to erase you
Today again,
It makes it even more hard..
The above is a link to the site where I got some of the Full House soundtracks from. I'd tried to buy the soundtrack from an online website, but it is out of stock. *Sigh* Oon Myung (Fate) is my favourite song. Even though I do not understand Korean, the beauty of the song is brought out very nicely by the voice of the singer. The tone of the singer and the way the song is expressed, it brings out the anguish and pain.
I am currently at home, sitting in the dining room, with my laptop.
Though it is a little boring, but not that much, with not much to do; I am very glad for this rest, even if I am not doing anything productive. I think my dad is very, very bored. There's only so much you can do at home, with the television. Even with Starhub Cable, there isn't much to watch after awhile, as most of the time, it is showing re-runs of episodes from the night before.
Light my path
1:09:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Thursday, 21 September 2006
说谎
-张信哲
这次我又担心到天亮
这次我又担心到天亮
现在你靠在谁身旁
窗外透进来的光
照得心发慌
熬过了失眠的晚上
每次你的理由都一样
其实我都懂只是不讲
把自己弄得很忙
其实是假装
看你这次要怎么收场
我说我会是你可以依靠的肩膀
而你却站在离我最远的地方
我爱你的心一样
总是选择原谅
你有多少借口
除了说谎
如果我不是你可以停靠的地方
我们就到此为止不必再勉强
现在开始不一样
像路人经过身旁
你也不必装模做样
我会遗忘
别再说谎
每次你的理由都一样
其实我都懂只是不讲
把自己弄的很忙
其实是假装
看你这次要怎么收场
我说我会是你可以停靠的肩膀
而你却站在离我最远的地方
我爱你的心一样
总是选择原谅
你有多少借口
除了说谎
如果我不是你可以停靠的地方
我们就到此为止不必再勉强
现在开始不一样
像路人经过身旁
你也不必装模做样
如果我不是你可以停靠的地方
我们就到此为止不必再勉强
现在开始不一样
像路人经过身旁
你也不必装模做样
我会遗忘别再说谎
做你的男人
-张信哲
东京 纽约 每个地点
带你去坐幸福的地下铁
散步 逛街 找电影院
累了我就帮你提高跟鞋
塞车 停电 哪怕下雪
每天都要和你过情人节
星光 音乐 一杯热咖啡
只想给你所有浪漫情节
让我做你的男人
24个小时不睡觉
小心翼翼的保持这种热情不退烧
不管世界多纷挠
我们俩紧紧的拥抱
隐隐约约我感觉有微笑
藏在你嘴角
做你的男人
24个小时不睡觉
让胆小的你在黑夜中
也会有个依靠
就算有一天爱会变少人会变老
就算没告诉过你也知道
下辈子还要和你遇到
说谎 is my favourite song out of the whole album. The 2nd song is great too!! Once again, Jeff Chang has shone through, with his latest album. I love all of his songs. The lyrics speak of love, pain, hope, crushed feelings....etc, brought out very well by Jeff Chang's voice. I've been listening to his songs, ever since primary school. I can't wait for his next album and his next visit to Singapore. I'd missed his last 2 performances here.
Light my path
5:50:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
I'm on leave today...Yippee!!!!!!
And I plan to spend it at home.......
Bah.
Sounds boring, ne?
But, I am very contented and glad, for I really need a break from work. So, just slacking around at home, watching VCDs, surfing net, sleeping, suits me just fine.
My dad and I'd just eaten our lunch not long ago. We had kway chap.
Alvin came by my work place last night. I was talking to an auntie from another pushcart, when I saw him walk past, wearing a bright green shirt from my place. I was quite glad, as that was the first time I'd ever seen him wear anything that I'd given him. I'd given quite a few t-shirts to some friends, but had never seen them wear any of them before; aside from Sebastian and Daniel Tan. So, it was a very pleasant surprise and a welcome sight for sore eyes, to see Alvin donning on that t-shirt. I remember giving it to him on his 21st birthday.
Thus, I happily, albeit a little sneakily, semi rushed cum tip-toed behind him and tapped him on his shoulder. He got a surprise, as he was planning to give me a scare, but, instead, I had given him a surprise.......=p So fun.......
It was fun and enjoyable talking with him. He is fun to be around with..=) Took a few photos of him.....hee hee. I was disappointed that I hadn't brought along my digital camera, but he pointed out that I could use my camera phone. Happily, I agreed, while he was ruing his 'bright idea'. Heek!!=)
I mentioned that I saw his sister the day before yesterday. He added on, saying that his sister had mentioned it to him. He told me that his sister had asked him to inform me that there is a vacancy in her company, for a data entry clerk. I was glad, but a sense of dread and wistfulness came in. I am glad that her sister thought of me, but this is not the time for me to leave my boss. She'll going on holiday in November and Christmas is coming up, it will be really busy and stuff like that. Though, there are months for her to train new staff, it is very hard to find people who are willing to work hard, who will stay on long. I cannot leave.
I am quite sad at this. It seems like opportunites always come at the wrong time. I very much want to take up this offer, but, I cannot leave my boss. I am not saying that I am so very good in my job, till I am indespensible; but rather, she needs a person who can and will stay on. Currently, I am the one.
Seriously, I know that retail is not a line where I can stay for long, given my personality; in addition, it is a young market, with regards to the front line retail assistants. Even before this, I had given things much thought and have decided to leave after 2007. To a certain extent, I like my job, but I do not wish to stay on forever and do the same old things every day. If, by 2007, there's no change, as in working environment, I will leave. It is not fair to my boss, to have me, having this kind of working attitude; working for the sake of working, staying on because of her, yet not doing any thing to improve my working style and mentality.
In a sense, I am tired too. I want to be able to go out on weekends, go home at evening and all that stuff.
I am really torn and more than a little upset at the loss of a job offer. This is not the right time to leave. Yah,
Even if it kills me, I'll stay on for her, till a better time.
I'd never really concerned myself about the pay before, but with my father in the hospital and my parents aging and planning to go into retirement; I have to be more concerned about my pay.
Though, my parents have quietened down and didn't make so much noise about my choice of a living, I know that they are not happy with it. They think that I can do better, being a diploma holder. The bottom line is, they are concerned about my welfare and living, as my eldest sister and I are not on good terms; it has always been their worry that, any thing happens to them, my eldest sister will throw me out, as my parents will no longer be here to act as buffer. Thus, in their minds, I must have a stronger financial base than what I have now.
My mind and feelings are thrown into chaos. Responsibility and obligation, loyalty and needs, past and future are warring against each other. Opprotunities don't come aknocking every day, you have to grab them when they appear. I am afraid that, when I finally make a move to leave, there won't be any more opportunities.
God is good. He knows best.
And I plan to spend it at home.......
Bah.
Sounds boring, ne?
But, I am very contented and glad, for I really need a break from work. So, just slacking around at home, watching VCDs, surfing net, sleeping, suits me just fine.
My dad and I'd just eaten our lunch not long ago. We had kway chap.
Alvin came by my work place last night. I was talking to an auntie from another pushcart, when I saw him walk past, wearing a bright green shirt from my place. I was quite glad, as that was the first time I'd ever seen him wear anything that I'd given him. I'd given quite a few t-shirts to some friends, but had never seen them wear any of them before; aside from Sebastian and Daniel Tan. So, it was a very pleasant surprise and a welcome sight for sore eyes, to see Alvin donning on that t-shirt. I remember giving it to him on his 21st birthday.
Thus, I happily, albeit a little sneakily, semi rushed cum tip-toed behind him and tapped him on his shoulder. He got a surprise, as he was planning to give me a scare, but, instead, I had given him a surprise.......=p So fun.......
It was fun and enjoyable talking with him. He is fun to be around with..=) Took a few photos of him.....hee hee. I was disappointed that I hadn't brought along my digital camera, but he pointed out that I could use my camera phone. Happily, I agreed, while he was ruing his 'bright idea'. Heek!!=)
I mentioned that I saw his sister the day before yesterday. He added on, saying that his sister had mentioned it to him. He told me that his sister had asked him to inform me that there is a vacancy in her company, for a data entry clerk. I was glad, but a sense of dread and wistfulness came in. I am glad that her sister thought of me, but this is not the time for me to leave my boss. She'll going on holiday in November and Christmas is coming up, it will be really busy and stuff like that. Though, there are months for her to train new staff, it is very hard to find people who are willing to work hard, who will stay on long. I cannot leave.
I am quite sad at this. It seems like opportunites always come at the wrong time. I very much want to take up this offer, but, I cannot leave my boss. I am not saying that I am so very good in my job, till I am indespensible; but rather, she needs a person who can and will stay on. Currently, I am the one.
Seriously, I know that retail is not a line where I can stay for long, given my personality; in addition, it is a young market, with regards to the front line retail assistants. Even before this, I had given things much thought and have decided to leave after 2007. To a certain extent, I like my job, but I do not wish to stay on forever and do the same old things every day. If, by 2007, there's no change, as in working environment, I will leave. It is not fair to my boss, to have me, having this kind of working attitude; working for the sake of working, staying on because of her, yet not doing any thing to improve my working style and mentality.
In a sense, I am tired too. I want to be able to go out on weekends, go home at evening and all that stuff.
I am really torn and more than a little upset at the loss of a job offer. This is not the right time to leave. Yah,
Even if it kills me, I'll stay on for her, till a better time.
I'd never really concerned myself about the pay before, but with my father in the hospital and my parents aging and planning to go into retirement; I have to be more concerned about my pay.
Though, my parents have quietened down and didn't make so much noise about my choice of a living, I know that they are not happy with it. They think that I can do better, being a diploma holder. The bottom line is, they are concerned about my welfare and living, as my eldest sister and I are not on good terms; it has always been their worry that, any thing happens to them, my eldest sister will throw me out, as my parents will no longer be here to act as buffer. Thus, in their minds, I must have a stronger financial base than what I have now.
My mind and feelings are thrown into chaos. Responsibility and obligation, loyalty and needs, past and future are warring against each other. Opprotunities don't come aknocking every day, you have to grab them when they appear. I am afraid that, when I finally make a move to leave, there won't be any more opportunities.
God is good. He knows best.
Light my path
2:18:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Tuesday, 19 September 2006
My dad is doing well. I think, he is quite bored, stuck at home.
I read in a magazine that Jeff Chang has released a new album, thus, after work, I immediately rushed off to Sembawang Music to grab it off the shelf.
Yay!!
Happy!
Prayed for a friend who was being disturbed by spirit(s). I'm a newbie at this kind of thing. Hope that things will be alright for her.
This morning, when she told me about her encounter (this is her third) with a spirit/ghost (whichever way you want to put it), I remembered a song which Ronny had taught me to sing (during those guitar days), when we were in poly: In the Name of Jesus.
It goes like this:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
- Ephesians 4:29
"But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."
-Matthew 12:36-37
I've been talking a lot of crap (unwholesome and unedifying talk) recently. It gets worse. Haiz.
I read in a magazine that Jeff Chang has released a new album, thus, after work, I immediately rushed off to Sembawang Music to grab it off the shelf.
Yay!!
Happy!
Prayed for a friend who was being disturbed by spirit(s). I'm a newbie at this kind of thing. Hope that things will be alright for her.
This morning, when she told me about her encounter (this is her third) with a spirit/ghost (whichever way you want to put it), I remembered a song which Ronny had taught me to sing (during those guitar days), when we were in poly: In the Name of Jesus.
It goes like this:
In the name of Jesus,
In the name of Jesus,
We have the victory.
In the name of Jesus,
It is a very simple, yet powerful song, reminding us that demons or evil spirits have no hold over us. That Christ is the name we can proclaim and by the authority of His name, we are safe.
"I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."
-Luke10:19-20
Whoever Is Not Against Us Is for Us
"Do not stop him," Jesus said. "No one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us."
-Mark 9:38-40
In the name of Jesus,
In the name of Jesus,
Demons will have to flee.
When we stand on the name of Jesus,
Tell me who can stand before,
In the mighty name of Jesus,
We have the victory.
It is a very simple, yet powerful song, reminding us that demons or evil spirits have no hold over us. That Christ is the name we can proclaim and by the authority of His name, we are safe.
"I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."
-Luke10:19-20
I'd thought to write her a note and give her these ways as encouragement. But, I began to doubt, she is a pre-believer, who doesn't believe in Christ and has her own religion, based on what can she claim authority? Following on the heels of that thought, I was reminded of a passage in the bible.
Whoever Is Not Against Us Is for Us
" 'Teacher,' said John, "we saw a man driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us."
"Do not stop him," Jesus said. "No one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us."
-Mark 9:38-40
My friend is certainly no anti-Christ. With that I had almost made up about 90% of my mind to write out the song lyrics for her.
As the afternoon progressed and after a talk with my boss, I decided that I will pray with my friend, for her, after work.
Some time later, I am once again reminded of another part of the bible. I can't find the verses, but it is a story (alert!! From here on, I am not very sure about the exact details, but I'll just give the general idea of that particular passage), talking about a man driving out demons/spirts in the name of Jesus. This one spirit told him, "Christ, I know. You I don't know" and proceeded to beat the crap out of that man.
My boss warned me that I should be careful about this kind of stuff, as we do not know how to go about things.
The 2nd passage which I was reminded about, made up my mind for me. I don not want to make things worse for my friend and invite more trouble for her. So, in the end, I just prayed for her, together with her.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
- Ephesians 4:29
"But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."
-Matthew 12:36-37
I've been talking a lot of crap (unwholesome and unedifying talk) recently. It gets worse. Haiz.
Light my path
11:12:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Sunday, 17 September 2006
My dad has been discharged from the hospital this morning.
When I arrived home just now, he was actually sitting up on the sofa, watching a movie on cable. For the whole of this week (I don't know about next week), our family will take turns to stay at home and take care of his needs.
When I arrived home just now, he was actually sitting up on the sofa, watching a movie on cable. For the whole of this week (I don't know about next week), our family will take turns to stay at home and take care of his needs.
Light my path
11:38:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Saturday, 16 September 2006
:: All Out Of Love ::
-by Air Supply
I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too, but what else can we do?
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong
I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh so right?
What would you say, if I called on you now
Saying that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone...
I'll be gone
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late, I know I was so wrong
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late, I know I was so wrong
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong
Light my path
6:52:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
:::: I've Been Waiting For You::::....
by Guys Next Door
yeahh..
Girl I've been searchin so long in this world
trying to find someone who could be
what my picture of love was to me
and you came along
When I saw you I knew you were the one
When I saw you I knew you were the one
the love that I've been dreamin of
I've been waitin for you (waitin for you)
all my life for somebody who (somebody who)
makes me feel the way I feel when I'm with you, baby
have you been waitin too
cuz I've been waitin for you
Girl I've been saving my love all this time
cuz I knew someday I would find
the one that i've loved for so long in my mind
From the moment that I looked in your eyes
From the moment that I looked in your eyes
I saw the girl I've loved all my life
I've been waitin for you (waitin for you)
all my life for somebody who (somebody who)
makes me feel the way I feel when I'm with you, baby
have you been waitin too
cause I've been waitin for you
Now that I've found you I just cant let u go (cant let you go)
no no no ohhhoh there's just one thing I want you to know
Spoken: girl I love you so... I've been waitin for you
all my life waitin for you
I've been waitin for you
all my life waitin for you
when I saw you I knew you were the one
the love that I've been dreaming of
I've been waitin for you (waitin for you)
all my life for somebody who (somebody who)
makes me feel the way I feel when I'm with you, baby
have you been waitin too
cause I've been waitin for you
I've been waitin for you
all my life waitin for you
I've been waitin for you
all my life waitin for you
I've been waitin for you
Heard this song over the radio last night, while in my eldest sister's car.
Light my path
11:55:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Friday, 15 September 2006
Man, I am so dead beat. Been among the world of the awake, since 0615 this morning; and I had just returned home not too long ago. To add to my fatigue, I'd been bad, slept at 0130 last night.
Currently munching on Calbee Hot & Spicy Chips (yummy! oh..the so sweet taste of spiciness!) and drinking Hooch (my current fave alcoholic drink, till I discover some thing stronger and better).
My eldest sister and I were at the hospital around 10 past 7. My parents had woken up then, as they stirred immediately upon seeing us appear at the doorway. After putting down our stuff, my sister and I sat down, while she asked after our dad. He is looking better, not so worn as yesterday, but needs to drink lots of water, as his urine is still pretty blood tinged.
We sat around watching the morning news, while my mom bathed and cleaned up. Around 8am, the doctor came (I was disappointed to see an elderly man, I'd half hoped for a young and dashing doctor), to check up on my dad, reminded him to drink more water (in addition, my dad had fever last night), chatted awhile before leaving on his rounds.
Not long after, breakfast was served. It was surprisingly good (I'd heard all the horrors about hospital food, but then, it was all in books..........=) Plus, Mount Elizabeth is a private hospital, standards should be quite high?)
For me:
Breakfast: Kway Teow Soup, with veggies, coffee, 2 slices of bread and melon. (I finished the first two items)
Lunch: Fish with lemon citrus sauce, sweet potato and cuumi (forgot how it is spelt) soup, a banana and a french bun.
Tea-break: Milo and a thick slice of marble cake (I only drank the beverage)
Dinner: Chicken porridge, juice and watermelon.
For dad (as he really ate very little, I'll only put down what he ate):
Breakfast: Few spoonfuls of chicken porridge and a slice of bread.
Lunch: A piece of fish with lemon citrus sauce and a banana.
Tea-break: Nothing. (He can't have any food with eggs in them and milo is too heaty for him).
Dinner: Half bowl of Kway Teow Soup (small bowl), with a few bites of fish and veggies.
After breakfast, my mother and sister left for their respective offices, while I am left to take care of my dad. I felt pretty nervous and useless, not knowing what I could do to help him be more comfortable and in less pain.
We talked a little, watched television programmes (though there's nothing much to watch) and dad fell asleep not long after breakfast. I spent my morning doing cross-stitch and watching the television shows. There wasn't much on television during that time, though a movie on HBO caught my attention. It was about fairy god-mothers, how everyone got their wands stolen by a rouge fairy god-mother, leaving only one's untouched, so this guy had to foil the witch's plans (yes, it is a he.), but a catch: he is not so good in making use of his magic. Some hilarious moments. During this time, whenever my dad was roused or woke by himself, I gave him half a cup of water to drink, sucking it in through a straw.
When lunch rolled about, I helped him with his food and was stressed and exasperated when he refused to eat more than a piece of fish and banana. I went ahead with my lunch, it was quite delicious, like eating western food in Swensens, Fish N Co, Cafe Cartel, that kind of places.
Seriously, I spent the day eating quite a lot. I am pretty overwhlemed by how much and how good the food, they feed us with. It seems like a wonderful thing, eating such good quality meals. But I could only think about my dad. If I can only have such good meals inside a hospital, I'd rather eat plain food everyday. I can't help but feel guilty, to be enjoying such good meals, at the expense of my dad.
When lunch was over, my dad felt sleepy and was starting to drift off to sleep when some cleaners came in, to clear the rubbish bin, vacuum the room and clean the toilet. I was more than a little pissed that they took quite some time to finish up and were chatting and laughing. My dather is a patient, he needs his rest and quiet. I had a mind to tell them to quieten down, but didn't. After they left, my dad fell asleep not long after.
I spent the rest of the afternoon (that is until my mom came back), writing out a story for Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction. It is an idea which popped into my mind while I was sitting by my dad's bedside. It is pretty fantastic and I am excited, but at the same time, I am a bit leery too. I don't have the stamina to write long stories (Look at my Hana Yori Dango fanfiction). Now and then I watched some television programmes and channel surfed till I found an acceptable show; and constantly gave my dad water to drink whenever he awakens.
I did not go for my violin lessons today, though I did lug my violin to the hospital. I'd looked at my father, so frail and weak; he'd became quite thin in just a few days. His thighs are so thin! Around 10am, I called the music school and asked to have my class postponed to next friday.
My mother came back around 1500 and had the lunch that had been saved for her (cuz, my dad only touched a bit of his own portion, he told me to eat his and save the other set for my mom). After she ate up her lunch, she had to finish up a cup fo Milo and 2 slices of marble cake. She moaned and complained about eating so much......=p
The rest of the afternoon was spent giving water to my dad, assisting him when he wanted to move, watching television shows and doing my cross-stitch. When it was time for me to leave, I was reluctant to leave my dad and frankly, quite lazy to go all the way home, bathe, dress up prettily, slap on make-up and manoeuvre through the rush hour human traffic outside my house (read between the lines: fighting with NS men for a seat in the bus) to meet Lynette. Thus, I called her around 1630 and told her that I wouldn't be going out for dinner and drinks with her. She wasn't happy, but accepted it.
Happily, I settled back on the sofa cum pull-out bed, beside my dad's bed. I continued on what I had been doing before, only leaving the ward for a walk down to the hospital cafeteria. To cut the story short, I discovered cafeteria food wasn't agreeable with, plus, I'd wanted a snack, not a meal, even though I had eaten quite a lot. I bought a Kit-Kat Chunky from Guardian and a slice of Oero Cheesecake from Coffee Bean before heading back. It was around 1730 or so when I returned to the ward. I prepared myself for dinner and was more than a little disappointed to find that my dinner was chicken porridge. I never eat porridge, unless I am sick. My mom ate the rest of the Kway Teow soup which my dad weas unable to finish.
After that, we leaned back and watched television shows again. This time, it was Channel 8's drama serial, Holland Village. We ended up watching the news and the dama serial follwing that, while I waited and waited for my eldest sister to arrive; she's driving, you see, thus I can reach home in good time and at no cost. I was really beat then and for no reasons, my stomach was caught up in cramps (not that monthly thingy) and I really struggled to eat up my Oero Cheesecake.
In the later part of the night, after 2000, my 2nd eldest sister and her husband arrived, followed by my 3rd sister. Still no eldest sister. My stomach was killing me then. I settled for mying back on the pull-out bed. At 2100, the doctor arrived for the usual checkup. Finally, not long after, my eldest sister arrived. She stayed for a ahile, asking about my dad and stuff. We left the hospital around 2130 and walked to Pacific Plaza, where she'd her car parked. I saw some thing interesting hanging on one of the pillars of the car park. It was a strand of garlics. Curious, I pointed it out to my 3rd sister. It got the attention of my brother-in law and my 2nd sister. They told me that, that satring of garlics, is like a ward against evil spirits. You know, like in the movies, vampires are scared of garlic?? Yeah...that kind of stuff. I was bemused. It was kind of ridiculous.
Hmm.
My eldest sister dropped my 3rd sister and I at a bus stop after Thomson Plaza, leaving ourselves to head home; as the other three hadn't had dinner yet, thus, they went off by themselves.
In short, I reached home after managing to squeeze onto a crowded 980, together with my sister.
I think I'll only post my new story on Fanfiction,Net, after I have more chapters out, not to forget the title too......
Frankly, I've no idea how my story will go on after the 2 chapters had been written out.
Arrgghh............I am dead beat.
Currently munching on Calbee Hot & Spicy Chips (yummy! oh..the so sweet taste of spiciness!) and drinking Hooch (my current fave alcoholic drink, till I discover some thing stronger and better).
My eldest sister and I were at the hospital around 10 past 7. My parents had woken up then, as they stirred immediately upon seeing us appear at the doorway. After putting down our stuff, my sister and I sat down, while she asked after our dad. He is looking better, not so worn as yesterday, but needs to drink lots of water, as his urine is still pretty blood tinged.
We sat around watching the morning news, while my mom bathed and cleaned up. Around 8am, the doctor came (I was disappointed to see an elderly man, I'd half hoped for a young and dashing doctor), to check up on my dad, reminded him to drink more water (in addition, my dad had fever last night), chatted awhile before leaving on his rounds.
Not long after, breakfast was served. It was surprisingly good (I'd heard all the horrors about hospital food, but then, it was all in books..........=) Plus, Mount Elizabeth is a private hospital, standards should be quite high?)
For me:
Breakfast: Kway Teow Soup, with veggies, coffee, 2 slices of bread and melon. (I finished the first two items)
Lunch: Fish with lemon citrus sauce, sweet potato and cuumi (forgot how it is spelt) soup, a banana and a french bun.
Tea-break: Milo and a thick slice of marble cake (I only drank the beverage)
Dinner: Chicken porridge, juice and watermelon.
For dad (as he really ate very little, I'll only put down what he ate):
Breakfast: Few spoonfuls of chicken porridge and a slice of bread.
Lunch: A piece of fish with lemon citrus sauce and a banana.
Tea-break: Nothing. (He can't have any food with eggs in them and milo is too heaty for him).
Dinner: Half bowl of Kway Teow Soup (small bowl), with a few bites of fish and veggies.
After breakfast, my mother and sister left for their respective offices, while I am left to take care of my dad. I felt pretty nervous and useless, not knowing what I could do to help him be more comfortable and in less pain.
We talked a little, watched television programmes (though there's nothing much to watch) and dad fell asleep not long after breakfast. I spent my morning doing cross-stitch and watching the television shows. There wasn't much on television during that time, though a movie on HBO caught my attention. It was about fairy god-mothers, how everyone got their wands stolen by a rouge fairy god-mother, leaving only one's untouched, so this guy had to foil the witch's plans (yes, it is a he.), but a catch: he is not so good in making use of his magic. Some hilarious moments. During this time, whenever my dad was roused or woke by himself, I gave him half a cup of water to drink, sucking it in through a straw.
When lunch rolled about, I helped him with his food and was stressed and exasperated when he refused to eat more than a piece of fish and banana. I went ahead with my lunch, it was quite delicious, like eating western food in Swensens, Fish N Co, Cafe Cartel, that kind of places.
Seriously, I spent the day eating quite a lot. I am pretty overwhlemed by how much and how good the food, they feed us with. It seems like a wonderful thing, eating such good quality meals. But I could only think about my dad. If I can only have such good meals inside a hospital, I'd rather eat plain food everyday. I can't help but feel guilty, to be enjoying such good meals, at the expense of my dad.
When lunch was over, my dad felt sleepy and was starting to drift off to sleep when some cleaners came in, to clear the rubbish bin, vacuum the room and clean the toilet. I was more than a little pissed that they took quite some time to finish up and were chatting and laughing. My dather is a patient, he needs his rest and quiet. I had a mind to tell them to quieten down, but didn't. After they left, my dad fell asleep not long after.
I spent the rest of the afternoon (that is until my mom came back), writing out a story for Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction. It is an idea which popped into my mind while I was sitting by my dad's bedside. It is pretty fantastic and I am excited, but at the same time, I am a bit leery too. I don't have the stamina to write long stories (Look at my Hana Yori Dango fanfiction). Now and then I watched some television programmes and channel surfed till I found an acceptable show; and constantly gave my dad water to drink whenever he awakens.
I did not go for my violin lessons today, though I did lug my violin to the hospital. I'd looked at my father, so frail and weak; he'd became quite thin in just a few days. His thighs are so thin! Around 10am, I called the music school and asked to have my class postponed to next friday.
My mother came back around 1500 and had the lunch that had been saved for her (cuz, my dad only touched a bit of his own portion, he told me to eat his and save the other set for my mom). After she ate up her lunch, she had to finish up a cup fo Milo and 2 slices of marble cake. She moaned and complained about eating so much......=p
The rest of the afternoon was spent giving water to my dad, assisting him when he wanted to move, watching television shows and doing my cross-stitch. When it was time for me to leave, I was reluctant to leave my dad and frankly, quite lazy to go all the way home, bathe, dress up prettily, slap on make-up and manoeuvre through the rush hour human traffic outside my house (read between the lines: fighting with NS men for a seat in the bus) to meet Lynette. Thus, I called her around 1630 and told her that I wouldn't be going out for dinner and drinks with her. She wasn't happy, but accepted it.
Happily, I settled back on the sofa cum pull-out bed, beside my dad's bed. I continued on what I had been doing before, only leaving the ward for a walk down to the hospital cafeteria. To cut the story short, I discovered cafeteria food wasn't agreeable with, plus, I'd wanted a snack, not a meal, even though I had eaten quite a lot. I bought a Kit-Kat Chunky from Guardian and a slice of Oero Cheesecake from Coffee Bean before heading back. It was around 1730 or so when I returned to the ward. I prepared myself for dinner and was more than a little disappointed to find that my dinner was chicken porridge. I never eat porridge, unless I am sick. My mom ate the rest of the Kway Teow soup which my dad weas unable to finish.
After that, we leaned back and watched television shows again. This time, it was Channel 8's drama serial, Holland Village. We ended up watching the news and the dama serial follwing that, while I waited and waited for my eldest sister to arrive; she's driving, you see, thus I can reach home in good time and at no cost. I was really beat then and for no reasons, my stomach was caught up in cramps (not that monthly thingy) and I really struggled to eat up my Oero Cheesecake.
In the later part of the night, after 2000, my 2nd eldest sister and her husband arrived, followed by my 3rd sister. Still no eldest sister. My stomach was killing me then. I settled for mying back on the pull-out bed. At 2100, the doctor arrived for the usual checkup. Finally, not long after, my eldest sister arrived. She stayed for a ahile, asking about my dad and stuff. We left the hospital around 2130 and walked to Pacific Plaza, where she'd her car parked. I saw some thing interesting hanging on one of the pillars of the car park. It was a strand of garlics. Curious, I pointed it out to my 3rd sister. It got the attention of my brother-in law and my 2nd sister. They told me that, that satring of garlics, is like a ward against evil spirits. You know, like in the movies, vampires are scared of garlic?? Yeah...that kind of stuff. I was bemused. It was kind of ridiculous.
Hmm.
My eldest sister dropped my 3rd sister and I at a bus stop after Thomson Plaza, leaving ourselves to head home; as the other three hadn't had dinner yet, thus, they went off by themselves.
In short, I reached home after managing to squeeze onto a crowded 980, together with my sister.
I think I'll only post my new story on Fanfiction,Net, after I have more chapters out, not to forget the title too......
Frankly, I've no idea how my story will go on after the 2 chapters had been written out.
Arrgghh............I am dead beat.
Light my path
10:48:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Thursday, 14 September 2006
I'd gotten back home not long ago, around 30 mins or so.
Feeling totally shag now, though not as much as those times. I'd woken up early this morning, despite a late night the day before, to visit my dad in the hospital. When I reached (after getting a little confused and lost in the hospital), my father was sleeping. My mother told me about his condition. Every thing is pretty much alright (I assume), just that he is in quite a lot of pain. After his operation yesterday, he wasn't supposed to move at all. Of course, this didn't go well with him and when he was finally allowed to sit up, he was overcome with pain. The operation was around the pelvic area, thus sitting up causes stress on the stitched wound. I think he spent most of the time sleeping.
Not 5 minutes into the ward, my mom offered me breakfast. It was pretty good. Two slices of bread, I put maple syrup on one and strawberry jam on the other. The magarine, I left it alone. Some time during my visit, a nurse came in to take my father's temperature and blood pressure. He was some what roused by all that and woken up. My mother then told him that I was here. Some how, when he asked where I was (his head was facing the window and I was to the other side of his bed, thus he didn't see me. Besides, he can't move without great pain), indescribable emotions welled up inside of me. It sounds stupid, I know. But to me, this scene is like a dying man asking to see his children for the last time, plus he is so weak that he can't see very well.
I'm crazy huh?
That was how I'd felt then. It scared and saddens me. My dad is really old. The one and only thing I ever wished and will always continue to wish for, is my whole family's salvation. Time is running out for them and for me.
This fear, at times nearly crushed me so much that, at times, I can't sleep.
Things were a little awkward when I walkedup to my father's bed. I didn't know what to say to him, what to ask, how to ask, how to show concern.
This is pathetic.
Instead, I just managed to ask superficial questions, like, is it painful? He must eat more......blah.....blah. Lame!
In the end, he was the one who showed concern by telling me to eat and drink that apple juice in the refrigerator.
This bridge is so wide. How do I close it? It is like this person in front of me, is a stranger. Not a blood relative, the way I behave awkwardly around him.
I left the ward around 1025 and took a cab to my workplace.
Later in the evening, I bought some old wife biscuits and egg tarts for my parents (the former for my mom), plus a bottle of cooling tea for her. I closed shop with super speed, as soon as it was time and took a cab down to Mount Elizabeth (did I mention that I was born in this hospital? No? Now, you know).
I had to sign in before going up. Thank God for the nice driver, who drove me all the way up to the entrance and rounded down the cab fee to $6, it was $6.10, initially.
When I got there, I was surprised to see that my parents were still awake; and they were even more surprised to see me.
I stayed for around 5 minutes or so, before I got chased off by my parents. They said it was late besides, I had to go down early tomorrow, to relieve my mother, while she heads for the office.
Getting the not so subtle hint, I left the ward and headed out, relying on my not-so-superb sense of navigational skills. When I reached the lobby, deciding to save myself the grief of losing my way, I asked the security guard the way out. Guess what that smart aleck said?
He said, "Jump down from here."
And even gestured to show me how it was done.
I don't know whether to be amused or pissed by his wisecrack.
Damn it.
Nicely, I smiled, albeit a little foolishly and asked again, how could I get out of that place. This time, he told me the directions.
Bah.
Should have done it the first time.
Following his clear instructions, I left the premises and walked out to take a bus home. I was lazy and had wanted to take a cab, but there was a long line of people outside Lucky Plaza, waiting for taxis; and to add to that, there were almost no taxis in sight. Resigning to my fate, I walked all the way up, to the bus stop after Shaw House and took a bus back.
I am feeling pretty shag now, in addition, I'll be waking up at around 6am (as I'll be going with my eldest sister to the hospital. She's driving), which is like 6 hours later. I hate this!!
To make things even more shag-gier (I don't care that there is no such word) for me, I have violin class at 1515. Oh boy. What a long day will tomorrow be! Hospital. Violin class. Go home, get changed, buy my dad's fave sweet bean pastry from Han's, go to the hospital and give them to him. Spend some time with him (hopefully) and leave to meet Lynette, 1900 at City Hall for dinner and later adjourn to some where for drinks.
What a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong day.
I think I'll catch my cat nap in the hospital tomorrow. I'll bring a book to read and hopefully finish up that cross-stitch. It is some thing way overdue.
Hmm, that should be all. Going to catch up on my online fanfiction stories, cut my nails (violin lessons) and rinse off my top that I'd left soaking (hopefully it doesn't shrink).
Thanks for all your prayers and concern...=)
Pretty jittery about my first violon lesson tomorrow and the time going to be spent with my father (I don't know what to do around him).
Feeling totally shag now, though not as much as those times. I'd woken up early this morning, despite a late night the day before, to visit my dad in the hospital. When I reached (after getting a little confused and lost in the hospital), my father was sleeping. My mother told me about his condition. Every thing is pretty much alright (I assume), just that he is in quite a lot of pain. After his operation yesterday, he wasn't supposed to move at all. Of course, this didn't go well with him and when he was finally allowed to sit up, he was overcome with pain. The operation was around the pelvic area, thus sitting up causes stress on the stitched wound. I think he spent most of the time sleeping.
Not 5 minutes into the ward, my mom offered me breakfast. It was pretty good. Two slices of bread, I put maple syrup on one and strawberry jam on the other. The magarine, I left it alone. Some time during my visit, a nurse came in to take my father's temperature and blood pressure. He was some what roused by all that and woken up. My mother then told him that I was here. Some how, when he asked where I was (his head was facing the window and I was to the other side of his bed, thus he didn't see me. Besides, he can't move without great pain), indescribable emotions welled up inside of me. It sounds stupid, I know. But to me, this scene is like a dying man asking to see his children for the last time, plus he is so weak that he can't see very well.
I'm crazy huh?
That was how I'd felt then. It scared and saddens me. My dad is really old. The one and only thing I ever wished and will always continue to wish for, is my whole family's salvation. Time is running out for them and for me.
This fear, at times nearly crushed me so much that, at times, I can't sleep.
Things were a little awkward when I walkedup to my father's bed. I didn't know what to say to him, what to ask, how to ask, how to show concern.
This is pathetic.
Instead, I just managed to ask superficial questions, like, is it painful? He must eat more......blah.....blah. Lame!
In the end, he was the one who showed concern by telling me to eat and drink that apple juice in the refrigerator.
This bridge is so wide. How do I close it? It is like this person in front of me, is a stranger. Not a blood relative, the way I behave awkwardly around him.
I left the ward around 1025 and took a cab to my workplace.
Later in the evening, I bought some old wife biscuits and egg tarts for my parents (the former for my mom), plus a bottle of cooling tea for her. I closed shop with super speed, as soon as it was time and took a cab down to Mount Elizabeth (did I mention that I was born in this hospital? No? Now, you know).
I had to sign in before going up. Thank God for the nice driver, who drove me all the way up to the entrance and rounded down the cab fee to $6, it was $6.10, initially.
When I got there, I was surprised to see that my parents were still awake; and they were even more surprised to see me.
I stayed for around 5 minutes or so, before I got chased off by my parents. They said it was late besides, I had to go down early tomorrow, to relieve my mother, while she heads for the office.
Getting the not so subtle hint, I left the ward and headed out, relying on my not-so-superb sense of navigational skills. When I reached the lobby, deciding to save myself the grief of losing my way, I asked the security guard the way out. Guess what that smart aleck said?
He said, "Jump down from here."
And even gestured to show me how it was done.
I don't know whether to be amused or pissed by his wisecrack.
Damn it.
Nicely, I smiled, albeit a little foolishly and asked again, how could I get out of that place. This time, he told me the directions.
Bah.
Should have done it the first time.
Following his clear instructions, I left the premises and walked out to take a bus home. I was lazy and had wanted to take a cab, but there was a long line of people outside Lucky Plaza, waiting for taxis; and to add to that, there were almost no taxis in sight. Resigning to my fate, I walked all the way up, to the bus stop after Shaw House and took a bus back.
I am feeling pretty shag now, in addition, I'll be waking up at around 6am (as I'll be going with my eldest sister to the hospital. She's driving), which is like 6 hours later. I hate this!!
To make things even more shag-gier (I don't care that there is no such word) for me, I have violin class at 1515. Oh boy. What a long day will tomorrow be! Hospital. Violin class. Go home, get changed, buy my dad's fave sweet bean pastry from Han's, go to the hospital and give them to him. Spend some time with him (hopefully) and leave to meet Lynette, 1900 at City Hall for dinner and later adjourn to some where for drinks.
What a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong day.
I think I'll catch my cat nap in the hospital tomorrow. I'll bring a book to read and hopefully finish up that cross-stitch. It is some thing way overdue.
Hmm, that should be all. Going to catch up on my online fanfiction stories, cut my nails (violin lessons) and rinse off my top that I'd left soaking (hopefully it doesn't shrink).
Thanks for all your prayers and concern...=)
Pretty jittery about my first violon lesson tomorrow and the time going to be spent with my father (I don't know what to do around him).
Light my path
11:44:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Wednesday, 13 September 2006
It's a long day today.
Feeling really tired and ache-y all over. The latter part may be because of a long day at work plus I did a semi-heavy workout at gym today.
My dad has went through his operation and things are looking up. My prayer is that things will be ok for him from now on. Recently, the family's been through some tough times. Whiskey's death has quite an impact on us, especially my father. He is real close to the dog. I am dealing quite ok, just that at times, I catch myself thinking about him, like he is still around.
I will be visiting my father tomorrow morning, before heading for work, so I've decided to call off my gym session for tomorrow. I've calculated that I'd need to be in the gym at 0630, if I wish to work out and head out to the hospital and reach my work place on time. Which is like a NAH, for me. I need my beauty sleep.
He is hospitalized in Mount Elizabeth, the hospital which I was born in. I don't know my way there. But, since I am born there, I should have some instincts, right? Like knowing how to head home, that kind of stuff. I am real lousy with directions. Crap.
Bought a Long Island Tea when I passed by the 7-Eleven near my place. Hmm..actually, I had already reached my place, just near the lift, when I decided to try out the Long Island Tea, which Shuhui had said was nice.
Hmm.....I don't really like it. The taste of alcohol is too strong. The first taste is alright, just that the after-taste is bit crappy. Like the very much detested cough syrup. I have downed half the bottle, now struggling to finish it. It's a waste to chuck it into the rubbish bin, especially when it is so expensive. I don't know why people are so into drinks. It is so yucky. Alright, Hooch is good, albeit a little gas-sy.
Going to have a drink with a primary school friend this friday evening. Hope the drinks will turn out better.
Finally feeling the effects of the alcohol. I'm feeling goooooooooooooooooooooood. Not drunk, don't worry. I am functioning perfectly and my fingers are doing the typing in good speed. Though I am feeling like, I am living and doing things through a cloud of fuzz. All the good fuzzy feeling. Cool. Like moving through a cloud of mist, or like the body is not yours...that kind of feeling. My mind is pretty clear, but the body's reaction albeit a little weird.
Feeling really tired and ache-y all over. The latter part may be because of a long day at work plus I did a semi-heavy workout at gym today.
My dad has went through his operation and things are looking up. My prayer is that things will be ok for him from now on. Recently, the family's been through some tough times. Whiskey's death has quite an impact on us, especially my father. He is real close to the dog. I am dealing quite ok, just that at times, I catch myself thinking about him, like he is still around.
I will be visiting my father tomorrow morning, before heading for work, so I've decided to call off my gym session for tomorrow. I've calculated that I'd need to be in the gym at 0630, if I wish to work out and head out to the hospital and reach my work place on time. Which is like a NAH, for me. I need my beauty sleep.
He is hospitalized in Mount Elizabeth, the hospital which I was born in. I don't know my way there. But, since I am born there, I should have some instincts, right? Like knowing how to head home, that kind of stuff. I am real lousy with directions. Crap.
Bought a Long Island Tea when I passed by the 7-Eleven near my place. Hmm..actually, I had already reached my place, just near the lift, when I decided to try out the Long Island Tea, which Shuhui had said was nice.
Hmm.....I don't really like it. The taste of alcohol is too strong. The first taste is alright, just that the after-taste is bit crappy. Like the very much detested cough syrup. I have downed half the bottle, now struggling to finish it. It's a waste to chuck it into the rubbish bin, especially when it is so expensive. I don't know why people are so into drinks. It is so yucky. Alright, Hooch is good, albeit a little gas-sy.
Going to have a drink with a primary school friend this friday evening. Hope the drinks will turn out better.
Finally feeling the effects of the alcohol. I'm feeling goooooooooooooooooooooood. Not drunk, don't worry. I am functioning perfectly and my fingers are doing the typing in good speed. Though I am feeling like, I am living and doing things through a cloud of fuzz. All the good fuzzy feeling. Cool. Like moving through a cloud of mist, or like the body is not yours...that kind of feeling. My mind is pretty clear, but the body's reaction albeit a little weird.
Light my path
11:00:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Tuesday, 12 September 2006
My dad has been admitted to the hospital this evening. His operation will be tomorrow morning at 8am. Theory wise, everything should be alright and the doctor had said that it will be a minor operation. But, still, to the elderly, 'surgery' and 'operation' are big words. Myt father is pretty worried and nervous about it.
Yep.
Hope that everything will be alright.
Yep.
Hope that everything will be alright.
Light my path
10:53:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Sunday, 10 September 2006
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's men and all the King's horses
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's men and all the King's horses
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
This old nursery rhyme just came up out of nowhere this afternoon. I must be pretty bored, eh? Some how, this rhyme reminds me of my current situation. What has been broken, remains broken. Even if, even if, it can be fixed. The cracks would still be there.
Light my path
11:13:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
I'm so damned pissed that I don't even want to talk about it.
If I weren't working tomorrow, my first impulse would be to drink and knock myself out.
As it is, I can only go to sleep and work out my frustrations at the gym tomorrow.
At the rate things are going, I guess I won't have any friends left by my side.
It is alright, because to begin with; they'd never been there when I was truly down.
Being alone is not as bad as I had once feared. My heart feels more peaceful.
I seriously don't give a damn if all of you leave my side.
Now, off to the shower and bed after that.
If I weren't working tomorrow, my first impulse would be to drink and knock myself out.
As it is, I can only go to sleep and work out my frustrations at the gym tomorrow.
At the rate things are going, I guess I won't have any friends left by my side.
It is alright, because to begin with; they'd never been there when I was truly down.
Being alone is not as bad as I had once feared. My heart feels more peaceful.
I seriously don't give a damn if all of you leave my side.
Now, off to the shower and bed after that.
Light my path
12:22:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Friday, 8 September 2006
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase.
In this dream, this dark and rainy night,
Is the memory of your distance from me.
-Here With Me (Ruoruni Kenshin Fanfiction)
I don't want the smile that hides your sadness.
That's not a smile, but a frown you tried to turn upwards.
Light my path
10:31:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Out of Tune
In this world full of music and sounds,
Each has their own song,
Their own rhythm.
Though every one's may be different,
But there is always some thing in common.
Unity in diversity.
A link between friends, families
And lovers.
Been living with a strange rhythm.
Aiming to please,
Wanting to destory.
Connected with others,
Once in a while.
The feeling's so good that I thought,
The missing puzzle is found.
That my life's rhythm is not so strange after all.
But, only to be wrong,
Time and time again.
I am still out of tune.
With you, with you, with you.
With all of you.
From above, the drop to the darkness,
Seems terrifying.
But when you have fallen,
You will find that,
It aint so scary after all.
There is beauty to be found
In this morbid rhythm.
I am so out of tune.
With you, with you, with you.
With all of you.
There is beauty to be found
In this morbid rhythm
I am so out of tune.
With you, with you, with you.
With all of you.
So, I've decided,
To live and love,
According to my heart’s rhythm.
Regardless of how you feel
Or what you will think.
Tired of trying to fit in
And pretending not to be a misfit,
To be as normal as I could play, to be.
Out of tune, out of tune.
I am so out of tune.
With you, with you, with you.
With all of you.
There is beauty to be found
In this morbid rhythm
You do not understand me,
So don't pretend to.
Making sympathetic noises
Just pushes me further away.
Acting all careful (like in a minefield),
Believing that if you believe hard enough,
Every thing’s gonna be ok.
Wake up, get real.
All that you are doing
Are just pissing me off.
Out of tune, out of tune.
I am so out of tune.
With you, with you, with you.
With all of you.
There is beauty to be found
In this morbid rhythm
(In the secret darkness of the heart)
With you, with you, with you.
With all of you.
So, I've decided,
To live and love,
According to my heart’s rhythm.
Regardless of how you feel
Or what you will think.
Tired of trying to fit in
And pretending not to be a misfit,
To be as normal as I could play, to be.
Out of tune, out of tune.
I am so out of tune.
With you, with you, with you.
With all of you.
There is beauty to be found
In this morbid rhythm
You do not understand me,
So don't pretend to.
Making sympathetic noises
Just pushes me further away.
Acting all careful (like in a minefield),
Believing that if you believe hard enough,
Every thing’s gonna be ok.
Wake up, get real.
All that you are doing
Are just pissing me off.
Out of tune, out of tune.
I am so out of tune.
With you, with you, with you.
With all of you.
There is beauty to be found
In this morbid rhythm
(In the secret darkness of the heart)
This piece reflects what I have always felt.
Light my path
6:26:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Thursday, 7 September 2006
Our Love Will Always Last (English Version) - Edward Chun
from Save Your Last Dance for Me OST
As we walk this land
Side by side, hand in hand
I know that some clouds may pass
But if we hold on tight
And love with all our might
Then the thorns in our life will never last
And the roads may sometimes be unpaved
You may think that our love cannot be saved
Though the world out there
May be cold to all we share
I have you, to take me through the night
And if we hold on tight
And stay true to all that's right
Then baby, our love will always last...
See the sunrise in the sky
Kiss the sunset as we lie
At night, I'll never leave your side
But I know someday
I'll be gone, and you'll be gray
Oh, darling, wish that I could heal your pain...
Though the world out there
May be cold to all we share
I have you, to take me through the night
And if we hold on tight
And stay true to all that's right
Then baby, our love will always last...
And if we hold on tight
And stay true to all that's right
Then baby, our love will always last...
This is one of my favourite songs from the soundtrack.....=) If you are interested, you can listen to it here: http://music.laosmile.com/play.php?id=626
The above are links to some of the songs in the soundtrack..=)
Light my path
11:07:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Fate
When I laid my eyes on you,
I knew that it would be you.
In a world, with multitudes of people,
I saw you.
And knew that it would be you.
You are the one for me.
We are meant to be.
Fate had brought us together.
You and I are meant to be.
None other.
In this crowd, even if you aren't looking at me.
Even if I am the only one,
Between the two of us,
Looking.
With this seemingly one-sided feelings.
I know with unshakeable certainty
That you are mine (as I am yours).
Because, besides you
There isn't any one in my sight.
I can see no one
But you.
This is fate.
Our fate.
Just you and me.
It can't be wrong,
Cuz in my eyes
There is none other but you.
In this crowd, even if you aren't looking at me.
Even if I am the only one,
Between the two of us,
Looking.
With this seemingly one-sided feelings.
I know with unshakeable certainty
That you are mine (as I am yours).
Because, besides you
There isn't any one in my sight.
I can see no one
But you.
This is fate.
Our fate.
Just you and me.
It can't be wrong,
Cuz in my eyes,
In the whole of my world
There is only you.
My heart beats
Only when you are near.
I am alive all cuz of you.
This is fate.
You are mine.
I know with unshakeable certainty
That you are mine (as I am yours).
Because, besides you
There isn't any one in my sight.
I can see no one
But you.
This is fate.
Our fate.
Just you and me.
It can't be wrong,
Cuz in my eyes,
In the whole of my world
There is only you.
My heart beats
Only when you are near.
I am alive all cuz of you.
This is fate.
You are mine.
This came out this morning while the Save Your Last Dance for Me OST, was playing from my ear phones.
Light my path
1:19:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Tuesday, 5 September 2006
I got a surprise when I dragged myself out of bed this morning. There was a parcel on my table. Immediately, I was all wide awake. It must be the stuff that I had ordered online, I had thought.
Bingo!
I was right.
Excited, I opened up the envelope (though at the back of my mind, I was a little cautious. Wasn't it some years back when there was some deadly virus concealed in letters??) and found my stuff securely wrapped in bubble wrap.
Very happily, I took out my Save Your Last Dance for Me OST and set it atop my bag, to bring along to listen, when I am out. The other two are the Cantonese opera VCDs for my parents. I couldn't wait to give it to them at night.
It was quite quiet at my workplace today. Initally, I had thought that it would be as bad, if not, worse than yesterday. But thank God, for His favour, sales picked up after evening. It is a record breaker for me, selling three hoodies in one day, and all of the same design too!
I went home pretty happy..=)
It was rather exciting at work for me today, as there were quite a few new designs. Some of them were cool, while others were cute, sweet or funny. I love all the T-shirts. Some how, it kind of made me wish that I am a guy, because the designs which I like are in guys' cutting. Sad to say, men look better in them than ladies. Check them out at http://www.funkyb.com/catalog/index.php
On the way back, playing in my discman, was of course the OST which I had gotten. It wa great! I love all the tracks inside. Wistful, tugging at the listener's heartstrings, exciting, bold, hot, full of hope and gentle; the OST is all these.
The first thing I did when I reached home was to give my parents the VCDs (after putting down my bag and changing, of course). Hmm, I do not know about how they feel. Just that my mom told me not to buy, said it was a waste of money; she could (use the money to) rent video tapes to watch. Still, I am glad to be able to get some thing which my parents like...=)
My colleague will be having her school term break soon, from 15 Sept onwards. My boss said I can apply for leave, if I like. I plan to. I desperately need a break. To just get away from things.
Bingo!
I was right.
Excited, I opened up the envelope (though at the back of my mind, I was a little cautious. Wasn't it some years back when there was some deadly virus concealed in letters??) and found my stuff securely wrapped in bubble wrap.
Very happily, I took out my Save Your Last Dance for Me OST and set it atop my bag, to bring along to listen, when I am out. The other two are the Cantonese opera VCDs for my parents. I couldn't wait to give it to them at night.
It was quite quiet at my workplace today. Initally, I had thought that it would be as bad, if not, worse than yesterday. But thank God, for His favour, sales picked up after evening. It is a record breaker for me, selling three hoodies in one day, and all of the same design too!
I went home pretty happy..=)
It was rather exciting at work for me today, as there were quite a few new designs. Some of them were cool, while others were cute, sweet or funny. I love all the T-shirts. Some how, it kind of made me wish that I am a guy, because the designs which I like are in guys' cutting. Sad to say, men look better in them than ladies. Check them out at http://www.funkyb.com/catalog/index.php
On the way back, playing in my discman, was of course the OST which I had gotten. It wa great! I love all the tracks inside. Wistful, tugging at the listener's heartstrings, exciting, bold, hot, full of hope and gentle; the OST is all these.
The first thing I did when I reached home was to give my parents the VCDs (after putting down my bag and changing, of course). Hmm, I do not know about how they feel. Just that my mom told me not to buy, said it was a waste of money; she could (use the money to) rent video tapes to watch. Still, I am glad to be able to get some thing which my parents like...=)
My colleague will be having her school term break soon, from 15 Sept onwards. My boss said I can apply for leave, if I like. I plan to. I desperately need a break. To just get away from things.
Light my path
10:53:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Saturday, 2 September 2006
I woke up around 0945, feeling not as sore as I had dreaded; vacuumed the house, bathed, got changed and left for town.
I was going to meet Winnie at 1230 at Plaza Singapura for lunch. I left earlier as I need to get some books from Kinokuniya.
The feeling of shopping alone, is not bad. That is, if one has the money to spend. Window shopping sucks.
I took close to an hour, trying to decide which book I should get. I felt quite constrained, as the selection wasn't as wide as I had thought it would be.
When it was almost 1300 (Winnie had changed our meeting time to 1300), I paid up and left for Plaza Singapura. Taking the underground pass to Lucky Plaza, I'd intended to take a bus as I had no desire to perspire too much. Upon reaching the bus stop, to my dismay, I suddenly remembered that my Ez-link card is in the negative (I'd used it to pay my library fines the day before and didn't top up). More than a little bummed, I trudged off on foot to the appointed destination.
Along the way, while waiting for the pedestrian light to turn green, I withdrew some cash from the ATM outside Heeren. Some time later, seeing that there was a drink stall selling bubble tea, I bought a cup of Passion Fruit Milk Tea.
Slightly upset that I had quite a bit of distance to walk, my mood was a wee bit sour and despondent. But nothing a cool drink and air-conditioned mall can't fix.
When I'd reached Plaza Singapura, I made a beeline for B2. Why? It is because, some months ago, I had bought some pretty earrings from a shop there, thus, I wanted to check out the studs again.
Though there weren't many which dazzled me, but there were a few which caught my eye.
After making the purchase, I went to Trumpet Praise and not long after, Winnie called to say that she'd arrived. Together, we browsed in Trumpet Praise and I got a CD and book as a present for a friend.
We decided on Pastamania, as neither of us were keen on going all the way up for lunch.
By the time we set off for church, it was around 1430. It was prayer today. Despite my not turning up for months, the feeling was quite good, in the sense that I was welcomed.
We chatted a little and after some time, started sharing about our recent life and prayer requests. Hearing the students share about the upcoming JC prelims, I was envious. How I wish I am still studying! True, mugging for exams aren't that fun, but it sure beats having to work.
When Abby, the person leading worship for that session, came, we started worshipping God.
After that, the SG (Small Group) continued sharing prayer requests and when we were all done, we broke up into groups of 3 and prayed.
By the time prayer was finished up, it was a little past five. Abby and I went down for the 1700 service, while the rest either went home or to other places.
There was a lady who came up and shared about true and false worshippers. We are to be true worshippers, but what is a false worshipper? Are you one?
She gave a definition, it is as follows (as best as I can remember, which isn't much): The false worshipper is one who, outwardly is no different from any believer. He/She confesses that Jesus is Lord, serves actively in church, speaks fluent Christian language and etc. One way to discern between a true and false worshipper, is to look at the fruits of that person's life.
That struck me very, very hard.
For many months, I have drifting away from God, falling and falling. Needing Him, knowing that only He can fill this void in my heart and life, yet making no move to Him. Needless to say, my life isn't any fruitful at all.
It is scary. I am like, living it, but at the same time, watching myself with detachment, wondering how far can I fall. How long will I far? How far away will I fall? All these are the questions constantly resounding in my head.
I walked in empty and walked out the same.
Alvin told me, no, advised me, never to try to find out how far can I fall. I don't want to too, but I am still watching myself do it.
This year's last baptism classes is starting up end of this month. I want to sign up for it, but the sessions will be on Saturdays, 1500. I have SG sessions on Saturdays, 1400-1700; in addition, we will be starting on a new book in bible study, I had bought the book, plus Winnie and I will be leading in one of the sessions. I guess, I will have to wait for next year's classes.
To tell the truth, I am starting to regret deciding to get a driver's license. The advanced theory book is making my head swim. Or should I say, drown?? It is dry, humourless (not that I am expecting any), overly technical (ironic huh? Coming from an engineering student) and just plain boring. To add to all that, I am feeling overwhelmed, nervous, useless, helpless and stupid.
I am quite slow on the uptake when it comes to hands-on. So I am pretty worried about my driving test, which is kind of crazy, as I hadn't even signed up for practical lessons!! But the obstinate and egoistical parts of me, want to prove Ronny wrong. He had said that it would be better for me to learn auto driving (which made me want to sign up for manual, just to prove him wrong. Though now, I am agreeing with him on that. *Haiz* Auto driving is already so complicated on paper! What more to say about practical??) and to add insult to injury; he predicted that I would only get my license on the 2nd or 3rd try (or was it 3rd or 4th try?? I think he said the former)!
My pride is calling for me to take up manual driving AND to pass on the first try!!
But the smarts in me, is silently advising me to take up on Ronny's advice. Regarding the later, I can always try my best and take my time (don't forget the MONEY) to learn and pass on the first try.
It is quite discouraging, to contemplate my shortcomings and know that I may not measure up to the mark.
Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
'Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean.
In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness."
-Matthew 23:25-28
The last verse describes my current situation, perfectly. Perhaps God is rebuking me, saying that my wandering around is enough??
I was going to meet Winnie at 1230 at Plaza Singapura for lunch. I left earlier as I need to get some books from Kinokuniya.
The feeling of shopping alone, is not bad. That is, if one has the money to spend. Window shopping sucks.
I took close to an hour, trying to decide which book I should get. I felt quite constrained, as the selection wasn't as wide as I had thought it would be.
When it was almost 1300 (Winnie had changed our meeting time to 1300), I paid up and left for Plaza Singapura. Taking the underground pass to Lucky Plaza, I'd intended to take a bus as I had no desire to perspire too much. Upon reaching the bus stop, to my dismay, I suddenly remembered that my Ez-link card is in the negative (I'd used it to pay my library fines the day before and didn't top up). More than a little bummed, I trudged off on foot to the appointed destination.
Along the way, while waiting for the pedestrian light to turn green, I withdrew some cash from the ATM outside Heeren. Some time later, seeing that there was a drink stall selling bubble tea, I bought a cup of Passion Fruit Milk Tea.
Slightly upset that I had quite a bit of distance to walk, my mood was a wee bit sour and despondent. But nothing a cool drink and air-conditioned mall can't fix.
When I'd reached Plaza Singapura, I made a beeline for B2. Why? It is because, some months ago, I had bought some pretty earrings from a shop there, thus, I wanted to check out the studs again.
Though there weren't many which dazzled me, but there were a few which caught my eye.
After making the purchase, I went to Trumpet Praise and not long after, Winnie called to say that she'd arrived. Together, we browsed in Trumpet Praise and I got a CD and book as a present for a friend.
We decided on Pastamania, as neither of us were keen on going all the way up for lunch.
By the time we set off for church, it was around 1430. It was prayer today. Despite my not turning up for months, the feeling was quite good, in the sense that I was welcomed.
We chatted a little and after some time, started sharing about our recent life and prayer requests. Hearing the students share about the upcoming JC prelims, I was envious. How I wish I am still studying! True, mugging for exams aren't that fun, but it sure beats having to work.
When Abby, the person leading worship for that session, came, we started worshipping God.
After that, the SG (Small Group) continued sharing prayer requests and when we were all done, we broke up into groups of 3 and prayed.
By the time prayer was finished up, it was a little past five. Abby and I went down for the 1700 service, while the rest either went home or to other places.
There was a lady who came up and shared about true and false worshippers. We are to be true worshippers, but what is a false worshipper? Are you one?
She gave a definition, it is as follows (as best as I can remember, which isn't much): The false worshipper is one who, outwardly is no different from any believer. He/She confesses that Jesus is Lord, serves actively in church, speaks fluent Christian language and etc. One way to discern between a true and false worshipper, is to look at the fruits of that person's life.
That struck me very, very hard.
For many months, I have drifting away from God, falling and falling. Needing Him, knowing that only He can fill this void in my heart and life, yet making no move to Him. Needless to say, my life isn't any fruitful at all.
It is scary. I am like, living it, but at the same time, watching myself with detachment, wondering how far can I fall. How long will I far? How far away will I fall? All these are the questions constantly resounding in my head.
I walked in empty and walked out the same.
Alvin told me, no, advised me, never to try to find out how far can I fall. I don't want to too, but I am still watching myself do it.
This year's last baptism classes is starting up end of this month. I want to sign up for it, but the sessions will be on Saturdays, 1500. I have SG sessions on Saturdays, 1400-1700; in addition, we will be starting on a new book in bible study, I had bought the book, plus Winnie and I will be leading in one of the sessions. I guess, I will have to wait for next year's classes.
To tell the truth, I am starting to regret deciding to get a driver's license. The advanced theory book is making my head swim. Or should I say, drown?? It is dry, humourless (not that I am expecting any), overly technical (ironic huh? Coming from an engineering student) and just plain boring. To add to all that, I am feeling overwhelmed, nervous, useless, helpless and stupid.
I am quite slow on the uptake when it comes to hands-on. So I am pretty worried about my driving test, which is kind of crazy, as I hadn't even signed up for practical lessons!! But the obstinate and egoistical parts of me, want to prove Ronny wrong. He had said that it would be better for me to learn auto driving (which made me want to sign up for manual, just to prove him wrong. Though now, I am agreeing with him on that. *Haiz* Auto driving is already so complicated on paper! What more to say about practical??) and to add insult to injury; he predicted that I would only get my license on the 2nd or 3rd try (or was it 3rd or 4th try?? I think he said the former)!
My pride is calling for me to take up manual driving AND to pass on the first try!!
But the smarts in me, is silently advising me to take up on Ronny's advice. Regarding the later, I can always try my best and take my time (don't forget the MONEY) to learn and pass on the first try.
It is quite discouraging, to contemplate my shortcomings and know that I may not measure up to the mark.
" 'Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.
Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
'Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean.
In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness."
-Matthew 23:25-28
The last verse describes my current situation, perfectly. Perhaps God is rebuking me, saying that my wandering around is enough??
Light my path
7:42:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
the girl
An easy-going gal who thinks and agonizes too much. Weird personality. Not an easy person to love, but desires to be loved. Jesus Christ is my Lord!
addicts
chocolate. reading. writing.
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"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:30
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Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9
A psalm of David.
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
"Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"
Jeremiah 33:3