`` my daily journey. [#] `-
Light my path
1:31:00 am
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Running around like a crazy fool.
Never mind the heart's aches
Waiting.
The wise should have
The whole world is calling,
But every thing in this heart rebels.
Unable to give up,
Really wanna spend this life with you,
But, love, I know,
So, let us go,
Just let me love you,
From a distance...
Wrote this on Saturday night (or rather, Sunday morning), as I was trying to fall asleep.
Light my path
12:03:00 am
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Light my path
1:15:00 pm
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Light my path
11:57:00 pm
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Hi there....=)
Today is my off day...Yaaaay......=p
So happy!
This week had been pretty uneventful. I didn't get to work much as there were new people coming in, so my boss had to let them work and train them. The feeling is strange. Normally, I'd have been thrilled to bits to be on leave, but now that I have it, I do not quite know how to spend my time. Lo.
As I'd mentioned before, sales hadn't been good for almost a month. Thank God that it is picking up this week. Last night, we managed to hit quite a good figure, one that we get on weekends, a little rare for weekdays, but nevertheless, possible. So work had ended pretty well, for me.
I'd made a major decision yesterday, well, to me, it is a major one..-)
I'd told my boss that I'll stay with her. Her eyes were like.....rounded. She asked, "Are you sure?" I said, yes. She asked me why. I told her that I'd made up my mind to leave, my family and friends, important people whom I hold in high regard, advised me to leave. But, this past week, my heart had been feeling torn. She wants to stay. Despite knowing the sacrifices that have to be made. Taking this route has made me turn my back on promises and made the future seems uncertain. I am planning to take studying again, in the future. One thing someone warned me about is that I should go to study while I am young and not wait too long, as time is against me. Employers would not want someone who is too old. True. In addition, the course that I am aiming for, takes about 4 years to complete, which is a full-time course. I can't possibly not work while completing my studies, so I'll have to take even longer. By the time I come out, I'll not be young anymore.
I asked myself, am I willing to sacrifice my youth, promises and plunge into a route that many says has no prospects? Seems a lot, eh? But I asked myself, can I leave my boss like this? My answer is no. Something inside of me compels me, no, demands that I do not leave her harassed and troubled.
I re-read Angeline's SMS to me. She'd said that, no matter what choice I make, she'll stand by my decision. She'd said that, "You know what God has been telling you. You know which side you are leaning more towards. Don't let the situation change your decision." Though, I suppose, at that time, those words were meant to help me be strong and not be pulled back by my boss' predicament.
It is the words, "You know which side you are leaning more towards." That strengthened my resolve to stay. Because, I want to stay, despite having to give up many things, for I cannot bring myself to leave her now, especially when, from what I observed, my new colleagues aren't that 'steady'.
Perhaps, they will be many people who will not be happy with me and my decision, especially my family. But I choose to follow my heart, despite all the signs that my rational part is telling me.
I find that, it seems to me, all my life, well, almost all my life, I'd never really made wise decisions. That is something scary to know, especially when I'd decided to plunge in. I guess the basis for my decision, is that I am a person who's world is really small. I can only see my friends' plight. I know that in the world outside, there are people who are in worse situations than my friends. But, I am not an ambitious person, nor am I very idealistic or with a big heart. I don't aim to help the people in the world. I aim to help my friends. My heart goes to the people whom I can see. Very small-minded? I don't know. This is me. It is only at this point that I realised Jimmy's words. He'd said the very same thing about me.
So, this is my decision.
This is my heart.
Though you may not agree or approve of it or understand, I ask of you to stand by me.
*My boss, not wanting me to live in regret, wondering what could have been if I'd accepted the student care position, advised me to try it out first, like part-time. If it doesn't work out, she said she'll always welcome me.*
Light my path
12:13:00 pm
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-Romans 12:2
Light my path
11:57:00 am
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Light my path
4:32:00 pm
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Light my path
9:49:00 am
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Light my path
12:38:00 am
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Light my path
12:06:00 am
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Light my path
4:27:00 pm
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Light my path
1:24:00 am
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What happened to unrequited love?
The feeling faded with time...
Because it was not meant to be...
Light my path
1:16:00 am
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Light my path
6:06:00 pm
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Monday, 27 March 2006
One Way Out
It’s a long lone journey.
Walking down this dark dank street.
A route known by heart,
But never wanted to travel down.
So dark, so cold,
A chill that settles into these very bones.
The night air is thin and stale.
Footsteps slapping against the uneven pavement,
The only sounds being emitted
For the birds are silent
And not even the crickets are chirping.
Some where down this path,
Lights shine.
Some blinding, others so dim
That they barely cast a shadow.
Bright amber, dim fluorescent lights,
Dazzling and seductive neon
Deceptively weak golden.
Which one is it?
Wanting a way out,
Of this hell hole.
I stumbled after those lights
In search of salvation.
Only to be beaten back
Even further into
This spirit devouring darkness.
Will I ever find the real light?
The one that will lead me
Outta this graveyard of hopes.
Reaching life’s journey end,
Thinking salvation has,
At long last arrived,
Only to be thrown into despair and chaos.
Blown about by the wind,
The flower is ripped apart
By a tornado whipped up
By well-meaning people.
Where is the way to light?
Never thought I’d be able to find You
Till He showed the way,
Through the Calvary.
This one came out while I was on the way home on Sunday night. The street lights outside my house were spoilt, I think. Really a lonesome road to walk down. A cocktail of emotions broiling inside of me, plus the dark, dark street, thus this piece..=) Enjoy and comment. Details. Details. I love details.
It’s a long lone journey.
Walking down this dark dank street.
A route known by heart,
But never wanted to travel down.
So dark, so cold,
A chill that settles into these very bones.
The night air is thin and stale.
Footsteps slapping against the uneven pavement,
The only sounds being emitted
For the birds are silent
And not even the crickets are chirping.
Some where down this path,
Lights shine.
Some blinding, others so dim
That they barely cast a shadow.
Bright amber, dim fluorescent lights,
Dazzling and seductive neon
Deceptively weak golden.
Which one is it?
Wanting a way out,
Of this hell hole.
I stumbled after those lights
In search of salvation.
Only to be beaten back
Even further into
This spirit devouring darkness.
Will I ever find the real light?
The one that will lead me
Outta this graveyard of hopes.
Reaching life’s journey end,
Thinking salvation has,
At long last arrived,
Only to be thrown into despair and chaos.
Blown about by the wind,
The flower is ripped apart
By a tornado whipped up
By well-meaning people.
Where is the way to light?
Never thought I’d be able to find You
Till He showed the way,
Through the Calvary.
This one came out while I was on the way home on Sunday night. The street lights outside my house were spoilt, I think. Really a lonesome road to walk down. A cocktail of emotions broiling inside of me, plus the dark, dark street, thus this piece..=) Enjoy and comment. Details. Details. I love details.
Light my path
1:31:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
No Fool
Running around like a crazy fool.
Lovesick fool.
Jumping through hoops
And leaping over huddles.
Braving snow and hail.
All cuz of this love.
Never mind the heart's aches
At seeing another in your embrace.
Cuz I believe that time,
Will prove these feelings of mine.
Trying not to be hurt,
By your pretense,
Your ever-seeing,
But never acknowledging heart.
Cuz, of this little hope,
That, someday,
You'll acknowledge and
Accept this love.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Been waiting so long.
So bruised and battered
By your refusal to acknowledge.
Gave so much
Till there's none left
'Cept for this hollow being.
The wise should have
Given up, long ago.
But, no one,
Has ever called me wise.
The whole world is calling,
For this to be stopped,
For you to be dropped.
But every thing in this heart rebels.
Refuse to believe that
You'd be so hard-hearted.
Unable to give up,
Unable to account for
All the love given,
Hopes dashed,
Time spent waiting.
Unwilling to let go,
And be a fool,
For holding on so long.
Really wanna spend this life with you,
Loving you with all my being,
Till death do us apart.
But, love, I know,
Can't be forced.
So, let us go,
Our own way...
Just let me love you,
Forever.
From a distance...
Wrote this on Saturday night (or rather, Sunday morning), as I was trying to fall asleep.
Light my path
12:03:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Wednesday, 22 March 2006
My current mood is bored and lost.
I am on off today too. Feeling so bored. There isn't much to do around the house. I'd finished watching the drama serials airing on cable, the rest are on re-run. I am waiting for time to pass, till it is 6pm, as I am meeting Daniel Tan to play tennis. He books out at 5.30, if you are thinking about the camp beside my house, you are right, he is from there.
I am looking at my newly bought alarm clock, maybe I should play with it later. That is, after I dig around the cupboard to find a couple of batteries.
My radio is currently tuned to FM 933. The DJ is asking people, who had checked their spouse' handphone for SMSes that tell of their infidelity. It seems like many people are guilty of it. Lo.
Where's the trust?
But, true, I have to admit that it gets hard when all the signs are pointing in that direction. Still, I think it is an invasion of privacy. Where is all the trust, promises, love and faithfullness when speaking the vows? For me, I'd never do that. If that man is someone whom I love and trust enough to marry, sharing my whole life, I will not do such a thing as to check on his emails, SMSes or calls. I will trust him. Yup.
I am feeling quite lost, as I am not used to having so much time on my hands.
Oh ya, my dear friends, do check out the site Funky B - http://www.funkyb.com/. There is really a lot of cool stuff. From little badges to caps, super innovative t-shirts to shoelaces, funky accessories to inspirational plaque boards. Really a place where one can buy gifts for loved ones or a little some thing for yourself. People who had complained about the price, will be GLAD to hear that they are offering a membership card at only $5, valid for 1 year. If you sign up now, you'll be given a $7-off coupon, to be used on purchase of t-shirts only (valid till 30 Apr 2006). The member is entitled to 5% off all items and 10% off in the month of the member's birthday. This is really a good deal compared to their previous discount rate, which only applies to purchase of t-shirts - $2 off every 2nd shirt purchased. For example, if a person signs up for their membership card and buys a shirt of $26.80. He will only be paying $19.80 for that shirt, if he uses that $7 coupon. Cool, right?
I am thinking of cooking some 'nian gao' later for Daniel. Well, see how, because I am feeling lazy. Haha.....=p
I am on off today too. Feeling so bored. There isn't much to do around the house. I'd finished watching the drama serials airing on cable, the rest are on re-run. I am waiting for time to pass, till it is 6pm, as I am meeting Daniel Tan to play tennis. He books out at 5.30, if you are thinking about the camp beside my house, you are right, he is from there.
I am looking at my newly bought alarm clock, maybe I should play with it later. That is, after I dig around the cupboard to find a couple of batteries.
My radio is currently tuned to FM 933. The DJ is asking people, who had checked their spouse' handphone for SMSes that tell of their infidelity. It seems like many people are guilty of it. Lo.
Where's the trust?
But, true, I have to admit that it gets hard when all the signs are pointing in that direction. Still, I think it is an invasion of privacy. Where is all the trust, promises, love and faithfullness when speaking the vows? For me, I'd never do that. If that man is someone whom I love and trust enough to marry, sharing my whole life, I will not do such a thing as to check on his emails, SMSes or calls. I will trust him. Yup.
I am feeling quite lost, as I am not used to having so much time on my hands.
Oh ya, my dear friends, do check out the site Funky B - http://www.funkyb.com/. There is really a lot of cool stuff. From little badges to caps, super innovative t-shirts to shoelaces, funky accessories to inspirational plaque boards. Really a place where one can buy gifts for loved ones or a little some thing for yourself. People who had complained about the price, will be GLAD to hear that they are offering a membership card at only $5, valid for 1 year. If you sign up now, you'll be given a $7-off coupon, to be used on purchase of t-shirts only (valid till 30 Apr 2006). The member is entitled to 5% off all items and 10% off in the month of the member's birthday. This is really a good deal compared to their previous discount rate, which only applies to purchase of t-shirts - $2 off every 2nd shirt purchased. For example, if a person signs up for their membership card and buys a shirt of $26.80. He will only be paying $19.80 for that shirt, if he uses that $7 coupon. Cool, right?
I am thinking of cooking some 'nian gao' later for Daniel. Well, see how, because I am feeling lazy. Haha.....=p
Light my path
1:15:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Tuesday, 21 March 2006
Hmm...from now on, the title for my blog entries, shall reflect my current mood..=] (most of the time). My current mood is, to want to be accepted and loved, just as I am.
My radio is tuned to FM 933 and the song from my laptop is - 爱情不能做比较 by 品冠。
My radio is tuned to FM 933 and the song from my laptop is - 爱情不能做比较 by 品冠。
I'd just reached home not long ago, from an evening out with Shuhui. We went to Junction 8, as she needed to exchange a top that I'd bought for her, as a birthday gift. Before meeting her, I'd went to a video shop, near J8 to pick up a set of VCDs and buy bubble tea. I'd bought Pearl Milk Tea, for Dilah, who works in a neighbouring pushcart and Strawberry Milk Tea for myself. I am quite glad to be able to find that drama serial. It is really too bad that I couldn't buy it, as I couldn't buy it anywhere else. I am only renting the VCDs. It is a Hong Kong drama serial, starring my favourite couple - Ekin Cheng and Nnadia Chan, - 蜀山奇侠之仙侣奇缘。
I'd searched high and low for this serial, to the extent of even leaving my contact number with shop assistants; asking them to check with their headquarters and to call me if they found it. Sadly, no one did. Ronny had said that his sister is watching that show and would lend it to me. He never did too. Lol. But, anyway, in the first place I'd never put my hope into him remembering it or putting this matter into his heart.
Thank God that Chun Mei, another person who is working in a neighbouring pushcart, has the contact number of that video shop. I'd mentioned to her about my wanting to drop by that shop to ask about that show. She'd then said that she used to patronise that video shop very frequently and has their contact number. Upon a call to that shop, we were told that, they have that particular serial. I was really happy to hear about it. But not really ecstatic. This show is one of my childhood favourites. Though, I still like the show very much, much of the magic has faded. This is probably because, compared to present day serials, with all the latest technology and computer graphics, this show isn't much. But frankly, this show, the storyline, acting, props and graphics are still able to stand alone, although truth be told, the computer graphics do pale in comparison.
I love this serial, because my favourite couple- Ekin and Nnadia are in it and the story is good. Yep...=)
After exchanging Shuhui's top, we shopped around. I'd bought a purple top from Bum Equipment. The last time I'd bought a top from them was when I was working in One.99 Shop. Actually, this is my 2nd top. I'd bought a pair of flower shaped wire earrings from 77th Street. We walked around level 2, going in from shop to shop, looking at shoes and clothes. My last purchase was an alarm clock from Mini Toons. After a dunk into a pail of dirty water, my handphone is never the same again. Currently, it is unable to show the contacts in my phonebook, unless I use the SIM card memory (I use the phone memory, as it is a little laggy when I use the SIM card memory). In addition, when I receive a SMS or when others call me, my handphone doesn't ring. It is acting like I'd put it in silent mode, which I didn't. With this new problem, I realised that the alarm clock doesn't work too. Which is BAD. Thus, I'd bought an alarm clock. Too bad that I wasn't able to find one with my favourite anime character. I settled for a cute pink clock, complete with bear face and ears sticking out. Lol.
On our way to Mini Toons, upon seeing the shop where people can go and have their photos taken, I suggested to her that we take some too. Surprisingly, she agreed. I'd thought that she'd refuse, as the last time we'd taken such photos, was in February, during our birthday celebration. It was quite fun! Ha..=p We both agreed that she'd be th one to decorate the photos. That is due to the fact that I don't work well under pressure and my artistic skills aren't up to par. Sob. Sob.
We went for dinner around 9pm, at Secret Recipe. We waited for almost 30 mins for our food to arrive. In addition, we were asked to order quickly as they would be closing soon. Which gave us little time to enjoy and finish our food. Our dinner came around 940pm or later. It isn't as good as I'd expected. Perhaps it is a little too much meat for me. We'd ordered the same dish, chicken chop stuffed with cheese and ham. I'd thought that it seems to be nice, while Shuhui had ordered it as it came reccommended in the I-Weekly. What a diasppointment. I really had to force myself to finish every bite of that chicken chop. A little overkill. Shuhui said that she wouldn't patronise their shops again. For me, I am still willing to give it a go, mainly because of the dessert. Haha..=p
Lol.
After dinner, we went to Mcdonald's to get some drinks. She ordered ice-lemon tea while I got my usual - lemon lime juice. We stayed and chatted till 1050pm, before making a move.
We parted ways at Sembawang MRT station. While Shuhui walked home, I took a bus and reached around 1145pm.
Switching on my laptop, I unpacked my purchases while waiting for the computer to start up. Once I was done, I went online and checked my mail. Seeing something interesting in yahoo, I stopped to check it out. The news is about a cheerleader, Kristi Yamaoka from Southern Illinois University, who fell 15 feet and injuring herself during a routine at a basketball game (http://articles.news.aol.com/sports/article.adp?id=20060305205609990018&cid=936).
This brings back memories about the time when I was crazy about Sweet Valley High books. My first SVH book is about Elizabeth Wakefield, an elder sister to her twin - Jessica Wakefield. That was the book that had me hooked for years. I'd read it, either when I was primary 6 or in my lower secondary days. That book belongs to my eldest sister. I suppose I'd found it after a trip to the store room. During those days, I often raided the store room for books; all belonging to my eldest sister, as I didn't go out much, had no computer to surf the net and had grown bored of the same old television programmes. Her books ranges from Enid Blyton to Nancy Drew and SVH. I like all of them. Nancy Drew, Enid Blyton, SVH, Harper Lee, Trixie Belden, The Secret Garden, Little Women, Chinese Legends and many more.
Aaa...the world of books, is simply marvellous!=)
My eldest sister and I, are like oil and water, we simply cannot get along, but ironically, we have quite a few things in common, our looks and our love for books.
Light my path
11:57:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Friday, 17 March 2006
Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."
-Luke 9:62
Hi there....=)
Today is my off day...Yaaaay......=p
So happy!
This week had been pretty uneventful. I didn't get to work much as there were new people coming in, so my boss had to let them work and train them. The feeling is strange. Normally, I'd have been thrilled to bits to be on leave, but now that I have it, I do not quite know how to spend my time. Lo.
As I'd mentioned before, sales hadn't been good for almost a month. Thank God that it is picking up this week. Last night, we managed to hit quite a good figure, one that we get on weekends, a little rare for weekdays, but nevertheless, possible. So work had ended pretty well, for me.
I'd made a major decision yesterday, well, to me, it is a major one..-)
I'd told my boss that I'll stay with her. Her eyes were like.....rounded. She asked, "Are you sure?" I said, yes. She asked me why. I told her that I'd made up my mind to leave, my family and friends, important people whom I hold in high regard, advised me to leave. But, this past week, my heart had been feeling torn. She wants to stay. Despite knowing the sacrifices that have to be made. Taking this route has made me turn my back on promises and made the future seems uncertain. I am planning to take studying again, in the future. One thing someone warned me about is that I should go to study while I am young and not wait too long, as time is against me. Employers would not want someone who is too old. True. In addition, the course that I am aiming for, takes about 4 years to complete, which is a full-time course. I can't possibly not work while completing my studies, so I'll have to take even longer. By the time I come out, I'll not be young anymore.
I asked myself, am I willing to sacrifice my youth, promises and plunge into a route that many says has no prospects? Seems a lot, eh? But I asked myself, can I leave my boss like this? My answer is no. Something inside of me compels me, no, demands that I do not leave her harassed and troubled.
I re-read Angeline's SMS to me. She'd said that, no matter what choice I make, she'll stand by my decision. She'd said that, "You know what God has been telling you. You know which side you are leaning more towards. Don't let the situation change your decision." Though, I suppose, at that time, those words were meant to help me be strong and not be pulled back by my boss' predicament.
It is the words, "You know which side you are leaning more towards." That strengthened my resolve to stay. Because, I want to stay, despite having to give up many things, for I cannot bring myself to leave her now, especially when, from what I observed, my new colleagues aren't that 'steady'.
Perhaps, they will be many people who will not be happy with me and my decision, especially my family. But I choose to follow my heart, despite all the signs that my rational part is telling me.
I find that, it seems to me, all my life, well, almost all my life, I'd never really made wise decisions. That is something scary to know, especially when I'd decided to plunge in. I guess the basis for my decision, is that I am a person who's world is really small. I can only see my friends' plight. I know that in the world outside, there are people who are in worse situations than my friends. But, I am not an ambitious person, nor am I very idealistic or with a big heart. I don't aim to help the people in the world. I aim to help my friends. My heart goes to the people whom I can see. Very small-minded? I don't know. This is me. It is only at this point that I realised Jimmy's words. He'd said the very same thing about me.
So, this is my decision.
This is my heart.
Though you may not agree or approve of it or understand, I ask of you to stand by me.
*My boss, not wanting me to live in regret, wondering what could have been if I'd accepted the student care position, advised me to try it out first, like part-time. If it doesn't work out, she said she'll always welcome me.*
Light my path
12:13:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
-Romans 12:2
Light my path
11:57:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Wednesday, 15 March 2006
Two posts in a day. I am well and truly bored.
This morning, I had woken up in anticipation of playing maple story. But, all of a sudden, I remembered that today is a wednesday. Which means update or patch day..Haiz. I went online to check how long it would be till the game is available again. I was a little down to see that the update would be from 8am-2pm. When I tried to start the game at 2pm, it wouldn't start. Turns out that they'd extended the patching to 3pm. Disappointed, I surfed around (=slummed around) till it was 3pm. While waiting, I got a surprise, the doorbell sounded. Just as I was about to open the door, someone used a key to open it. I caught hold of the dog-Whiskey, which is currently and had been barking like crazy since morning, really testing my patience and igniting my temper. I had thought that it was some one from my family, turns out, it were 2 strangers. Actually, they are the 2 persons who were hired to come and clean our house every week, as I was too busy to be the maid and my eldest sister is too old and lazy to clean the house.
After much waiting, I nearly fell asleep, in fact, I am sleepy now, lol, it was 3pm. Again I tried starting the game to no avail. Gah. *stuff it, dog!!* (He's really been barking almost the whole day. I am starting to go crazy.)
Anyway, as I was saying, the game couldn't be started despite repeated attempts. I tried downloading the patch from the site itself, but either the page wasn't available or there's error. In short, I couldn't download the patch, at all! So mad. I'd waited all day for this, even putting up with the insufferable dog.
*cries*
*and screams at the dog*
Maybe I should go out there and beat some sense into him. He really has been barking non-stop for the past 30 mintutes.
Just another thing to put me in a nasty mood. I can be a real bitch when I am angry.
I'd just have to wait till tonight before trying the maple story again. Lol.
Let me fill you in on my weekend.
On saturday, Angeline and I met at City Hall MRT station to go to the annual IT fair at Suntec City. I was a little late..Oppz..
Ronny was even later.
Lol.
When I smsed him after I'd reached, he'd said he was on the way out. Angeline and I were like.......okie....
As I hadn't ate, we went to Burger King for lunch.
After that, we departed for the IT fair. it wasn't as bad as I'd thought, not a crush, like tuna in a tin. Thank God. I hate crowds. We went straight to level 4, where all the digital cameras were. It was pretty exciting. Most of the people were polite, except for the 2 staff that we encountered at the Canon booth. One was patronizing, like my friend and I know snap about digital cameras and generally gave an impression that he wasn't interested to help us. The other one was plain rude, giving off an attitude like he couldn't be bothered about us, only interested in people who were buying. Angeline told me that the man had said that those who were buying can step up to have a look, those who were not buying, could just wait their turn.
Attitude much?
I had heard from Angeline that when it comes to digital cameras, Canon is the best, thus, though we had been to other booths and got pretty good service, I had already set my heart on getting a Canon digital camera. Only to meet with those 2 people. I do not know what was their reason for their behaviour, but if I wasn't keen on getting a camera, I would have turned heel and walked out of that place. They should have known better than to act that way, for my friend and I never provoked them by asking stupid questions. Those 2 staff from Canon had really spoilt my mood.
Ronny had arrived very late, we'd arranged to meet at 1330, he reached around 1620. Lol. After buying a speaker from Creative and when Angeline and I wanted to go up to level 6 to look at the hardware, he suggested that he go home and drop off his printer then drive his dad's car back, to join us for dinner. After some debate, he left for home while Angeline and I went up.
After browsing, she bought an external storage, while I bought a 512 SD card and an entrepreneurship book for Ronny. I had bought a digital camera, in the end. Quite satisfied with it, I guess. We met up with Ronny around 9pm at Bugis. Lol.
And went to The Coffee Club for dinner. The food was not bad, but the portion, was like for mice?? Lol.
When dinner was over, we went our seperate ways. Angeline went to take a train, while for me, after some discussion and what nots, Ronny said he'd drive me home. Before that, we went to Mcdonald's, he bought a set meal for Daniel, as he was on duty. So, he could pass him the food after driving me home, seeing that my house is right next to his camp? Zzz....
That was all for my saturday.
On Sunday, I woke up to the sounds of my family preparing to leave the house. After mooseying around for awhile, I went online and checked my email and read some Rurouni Kenshin fanfictions. I went on to maple story in the afternoon. Not long after I went on, Daniel and Ronny came online too. We chatted abit and something like that. Then met in Perion as Ronny had some stuff, make that alot of stuff, to pass to my character. He passed me some cool new weapons for my warrior and scrolls too. My character did a "catwalk" after equipping on the upgraded weapon. She walked super fast. Haha...So happy...We were on the phone for almost an hour, while trading and getting stuff. Lol. So cool..=)
Aa...look at the time, got to run...=0
See ya.
This morning, I had woken up in anticipation of playing maple story. But, all of a sudden, I remembered that today is a wednesday. Which means update or patch day..Haiz. I went online to check how long it would be till the game is available again. I was a little down to see that the update would be from 8am-2pm. When I tried to start the game at 2pm, it wouldn't start. Turns out that they'd extended the patching to 3pm. Disappointed, I surfed around (=slummed around) till it was 3pm. While waiting, I got a surprise, the doorbell sounded. Just as I was about to open the door, someone used a key to open it. I caught hold of the dog-Whiskey, which is currently and had been barking like crazy since morning, really testing my patience and igniting my temper. I had thought that it was some one from my family, turns out, it were 2 strangers. Actually, they are the 2 persons who were hired to come and clean our house every week, as I was too busy to be the maid and my eldest sister is too old and lazy to clean the house.
After much waiting, I nearly fell asleep, in fact, I am sleepy now, lol, it was 3pm. Again I tried starting the game to no avail. Gah. *stuff it, dog!!* (He's really been barking almost the whole day. I am starting to go crazy.)
Anyway, as I was saying, the game couldn't be started despite repeated attempts. I tried downloading the patch from the site itself, but either the page wasn't available or there's error. In short, I couldn't download the patch, at all! So mad. I'd waited all day for this, even putting up with the insufferable dog.
*cries*
*and screams at the dog*
Maybe I should go out there and beat some sense into him. He really has been barking non-stop for the past 30 mintutes.
Just another thing to put me in a nasty mood. I can be a real bitch when I am angry.
I'd just have to wait till tonight before trying the maple story again. Lol.
Let me fill you in on my weekend.
On saturday, Angeline and I met at City Hall MRT station to go to the annual IT fair at Suntec City. I was a little late..Oppz..
Ronny was even later.
Lol.
When I smsed him after I'd reached, he'd said he was on the way out. Angeline and I were like.......okie....
As I hadn't ate, we went to Burger King for lunch.
After that, we departed for the IT fair. it wasn't as bad as I'd thought, not a crush, like tuna in a tin. Thank God. I hate crowds. We went straight to level 4, where all the digital cameras were. It was pretty exciting. Most of the people were polite, except for the 2 staff that we encountered at the Canon booth. One was patronizing, like my friend and I know snap about digital cameras and generally gave an impression that he wasn't interested to help us. The other one was plain rude, giving off an attitude like he couldn't be bothered about us, only interested in people who were buying. Angeline told me that the man had said that those who were buying can step up to have a look, those who were not buying, could just wait their turn.
Attitude much?
I had heard from Angeline that when it comes to digital cameras, Canon is the best, thus, though we had been to other booths and got pretty good service, I had already set my heart on getting a Canon digital camera. Only to meet with those 2 people. I do not know what was their reason for their behaviour, but if I wasn't keen on getting a camera, I would have turned heel and walked out of that place. They should have known better than to act that way, for my friend and I never provoked them by asking stupid questions. Those 2 staff from Canon had really spoilt my mood.
Ronny had arrived very late, we'd arranged to meet at 1330, he reached around 1620. Lol. After buying a speaker from Creative and when Angeline and I wanted to go up to level 6 to look at the hardware, he suggested that he go home and drop off his printer then drive his dad's car back, to join us for dinner. After some debate, he left for home while Angeline and I went up.
After browsing, she bought an external storage, while I bought a 512 SD card and an entrepreneurship book for Ronny. I had bought a digital camera, in the end. Quite satisfied with it, I guess. We met up with Ronny around 9pm at Bugis. Lol.
And went to The Coffee Club for dinner. The food was not bad, but the portion, was like for mice?? Lol.
When dinner was over, we went our seperate ways. Angeline went to take a train, while for me, after some discussion and what nots, Ronny said he'd drive me home. Before that, we went to Mcdonald's, he bought a set meal for Daniel, as he was on duty. So, he could pass him the food after driving me home, seeing that my house is right next to his camp? Zzz....
That was all for my saturday.
On Sunday, I woke up to the sounds of my family preparing to leave the house. After mooseying around for awhile, I went online and checked my email and read some Rurouni Kenshin fanfictions. I went on to maple story in the afternoon. Not long after I went on, Daniel and Ronny came online too. We chatted abit and something like that. Then met in Perion as Ronny had some stuff, make that alot of stuff, to pass to my character. He passed me some cool new weapons for my warrior and scrolls too. My character did a "catwalk" after equipping on the upgraded weapon. She walked super fast. Haha...So happy...We were on the phone for almost an hour, while trading and getting stuff. Lol. So cool..=)
Aa...look at the time, got to run...=0
See ya.
Light my path
4:32:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
For the past year, 80%-90% of my days had been spent working, now that I have more free time on my hands, I don't know what to do with myself.
For this past 2 weeks, I'd been waking up around 9am - way too early for work, even more so on days that I do not have work.
The sports car radio behind me is playing a favourite song of mine from childhood days. The title is 我很丑 可是我很温柔- by 赵传. I still remember being enthralled by the chorus - 我很丑 可是我很温柔。 This simple line spoke alot to me. In a world where fame, power and beauty ranks all the way up, having none of the above lists one as a nobody, not worth anyone's time. Here this line is saying that though he may not have the beauty, but he has a gentle heart. Which, to me, matters much more than the former. For in Proverbs 31:30, it is said,
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Although it is no doubt good to have good looks or be with someone who has it, but 20-30 years down the road, what will happen to the good looks? Obviously gone. Does this means that with the fading of good looks, you'll not love the person anymore? If it is like that, then that love is superficial, not love at all. It is purely an attraction to physical appearance.
I think it is very lonely to be alone on the stage, with the whole world looking at you. But not understanding your feelings. This kind of desolatation, not many can relate to. The desire to want to be accepted and valued for who you are, wanting others to understand your feelings, knowing that you do not have what the world deems as necessary in order to be successful, but still wanting to be part of this place, in other words, not having the so-called necessary requirements, but still desiring to offer. These are the few reasons why this song speaks to me so.
我很丑 可是我很温柔
每一个早晨 在都市的边缘 我是骄傲的假面
我很丑 可是我很温柔
It is ironic, I've been writing ever since I was taught to and it is only now, in this very moment, that I TRULY realise, indeed, words speak to me alot. I communicate better through written words and I receive better through written words too. Somehow, unrealised by me, I'd written quite a number of writings, expressing my feelings and my blog entries are quite long too. In addition, when I need to apologize or clear up matters with others, I use writing too. Of course, there are times that I speak to the person face to face, as some things are better communicated that way.
I remembered being slightly upset over the loss of my handphone last year. Not because it is an expensive item, but mainly because of all the SMSes in my handphone and also because it had been a birthday gift from many people. I was quite sad because my previous handphone contained many inspiring SMSes from friends and some messages that I really want to keep forever.
A few lines or even a few words, at the right time, from the right person, really means a lot to me.
No use crying over spilt milk..=)
Though I'd have loved to keep them till the day I die, the handphone is lost and the SMSes gone. But those messages have served their purpose, they have touched my heart and brought me comfort..=)
Ended work quite late last night, because of a family who browsed and fussed for around 40 mins. Thank God that they'd bought some stuff. And thank God that the sales was better. One of the shutters of the pushcart got stuck as I was closing. I was like........oh noooo..........
As I exited the silent and almost empty mall, joined the flow towards the MRT station, somehow, I felt a little alone. Perhaps, it is the night, the crowd, a day after work, the instrumental music from my discman or some thing else, that evoked such a feeling. Thank God that the train arrvied almost immediately.
Sitting on the bus that was bringing me back, I reflected upon my impending departure from my current workplace. Confusion and indecision warred within me. I was really frustrated, hadn't I already made the decision to leave?
But I find that I couldn't bring myself to do so. After working here for a year, I've grown attached to this job. I like my boss and this job. Though there are nasty or annoying people to deal with, in the end I still like it here. i had wanted to leave is partly because, I am tired of a job that has such long hours, that simply leaves no time for friends and small group. I'd been feeling drained and had lost the initial passion. Another minor reason is that I mind how others look at me. Most people think that people in the retail line, especially those working in pushcarts are quite lowly educated. This is something that irks me a lot.
With this new job, all the above problems would be gone. I can have more time after work, to catch up with friends, relax, attend small group regularly and even serve in the church. In all good sense, this is the better option. Still, my heart is pulling me back. I can't bring myself to leave. As the new staff are coming in, I looked at them and wondered if they'll do their utmost to help my boss. If they would be willing to run the extra mile. Our company is going through a new phase, I want to be here to help, to be part of it.
But I have to consider the fact that I want to help out at my friends' biz. If I want to do that, I can't say "yes" to my boss, because, it is like I'm learning so much from her and stuff, then after that, quit and leave her to join my friends. In addition, I plan to go for a degree, so I need the money. In any case, I'd still need to work, even when I am studying...
Haiz.
For this past 2 weeks, I'd been waking up around 9am - way too early for work, even more so on days that I do not have work.
The sports car radio behind me is playing a favourite song of mine from childhood days. The title is 我很丑 可是我很温柔- by 赵传. I still remember being enthralled by the chorus - 我很丑 可是我很温柔。 This simple line spoke alot to me. In a world where fame, power and beauty ranks all the way up, having none of the above lists one as a nobody, not worth anyone's time. Here this line is saying that though he may not have the beauty, but he has a gentle heart. Which, to me, matters much more than the former. For in Proverbs 31:30, it is said,
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Although it is no doubt good to have good looks or be with someone who has it, but 20-30 years down the road, what will happen to the good looks? Obviously gone. Does this means that with the fading of good looks, you'll not love the person anymore? If it is like that, then that love is superficial, not love at all. It is purely an attraction to physical appearance.
I think it is very lonely to be alone on the stage, with the whole world looking at you. But not understanding your feelings. This kind of desolatation, not many can relate to. The desire to want to be accepted and valued for who you are, wanting others to understand your feelings, knowing that you do not have what the world deems as necessary in order to be successful, but still wanting to be part of this place, in other words, not having the so-called necessary requirements, but still desiring to offer. These are the few reasons why this song speaks to me so.
每一个晚上 在梦的旷野 我是骄傲的巨人
每一个早晨 在浴室镜子前 却发现自己活在剃刀边缘
在钢筋水泥的森林里 在呼来唤去的生涯里
计算着梦想和现实之间的差距
我很丑 可是我很温柔
外表冷漠 内心狂热 那就是我
我很丑 可是我有音乐和啤酒
一点卑微 一点懦弱 可是从不退缩
每一个早晨 在都市的边缘 我是骄傲的假面
每一个晚上 在音乐的旷野 却变成狂热嘶吼的巨人
在一望无际的舞台上 在不被了解的另一面
发射出生活和自我的尊严
我很丑 可是我很温柔
白天黯淡 夜晚不朽 那就是我
我很丑 可是我有音乐和啤酒
有时激昂 有时低首 非常善于等候
It is ironic, I've been writing ever since I was taught to and it is only now, in this very moment, that I TRULY realise, indeed, words speak to me alot. I communicate better through written words and I receive better through written words too. Somehow, unrealised by me, I'd written quite a number of writings, expressing my feelings and my blog entries are quite long too. In addition, when I need to apologize or clear up matters with others, I use writing too. Of course, there are times that I speak to the person face to face, as some things are better communicated that way.
I remembered being slightly upset over the loss of my handphone last year. Not because it is an expensive item, but mainly because of all the SMSes in my handphone and also because it had been a birthday gift from many people. I was quite sad because my previous handphone contained many inspiring SMSes from friends and some messages that I really want to keep forever.
A few lines or even a few words, at the right time, from the right person, really means a lot to me.
No use crying over spilt milk..=)
Though I'd have loved to keep them till the day I die, the handphone is lost and the SMSes gone. But those messages have served their purpose, they have touched my heart and brought me comfort..=)
Ended work quite late last night, because of a family who browsed and fussed for around 40 mins. Thank God that they'd bought some stuff. And thank God that the sales was better. One of the shutters of the pushcart got stuck as I was closing. I was like........oh noooo..........
I muttered a prayer to the Lord for help and tried again, pushing the shutter up and pulling it down again. Thank God that it come down smoothly...Phew! If not........no no, this thought is not worth contemplating.
As I exited the silent and almost empty mall, joined the flow towards the MRT station, somehow, I felt a little alone. Perhaps, it is the night, the crowd, a day after work, the instrumental music from my discman or some thing else, that evoked such a feeling. Thank God that the train arrvied almost immediately.
Sitting on the bus that was bringing me back, I reflected upon my impending departure from my current workplace. Confusion and indecision warred within me. I was really frustrated, hadn't I already made the decision to leave?
But I find that I couldn't bring myself to do so. After working here for a year, I've grown attached to this job. I like my boss and this job. Though there are nasty or annoying people to deal with, in the end I still like it here. i had wanted to leave is partly because, I am tired of a job that has such long hours, that simply leaves no time for friends and small group. I'd been feeling drained and had lost the initial passion. Another minor reason is that I mind how others look at me. Most people think that people in the retail line, especially those working in pushcarts are quite lowly educated. This is something that irks me a lot.
With this new job, all the above problems would be gone. I can have more time after work, to catch up with friends, relax, attend small group regularly and even serve in the church. In all good sense, this is the better option. Still, my heart is pulling me back. I can't bring myself to leave. As the new staff are coming in, I looked at them and wondered if they'll do their utmost to help my boss. If they would be willing to run the extra mile. Our company is going through a new phase, I want to be here to help, to be part of it.
But I have to consider the fact that I want to help out at my friends' biz. If I want to do that, I can't say "yes" to my boss, because, it is like I'm learning so much from her and stuff, then after that, quit and leave her to join my friends. In addition, I plan to go for a degree, so I need the money. In any case, I'd still need to work, even when I am studying...
Haiz.
Such a headache.
Light my path
9:49:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Saturday, 11 March 2006
I am waiting for my laundry to be done, (yes, yes, I know, it is after midnight, but I hadn't washed my clothes since last week, so I need to do them, if not, I wouldn't have any clothes to wear..well, clothes that I would want to wear.), so in the meantime, I will update my blog..=)
Business hadn't been good this week, which was strike one. Strike two was that, a friend and I had argued on tuesday night...or maybe, wednesday morning, what was a simple greeting on MSN turned into some thing worse, in short, we quarrelled and we ended on a sour note. It kind of ruined my day. Strike three was that, last night, Ronny and I, somehow fought. Not as in fists...but..how to say? We had some disagreements and it ended badly too. As the saying goes, 3 strikes and you are out. This week had been pretty lousy for me.
I am quite stressed out by the lousy sales and my inner conflicts-job change. I'd given my one month notice to my boss. I feel really sad to leave her and feels bad too, because, this seems to be a bad timing for her. She is expanding, thus needs the manpower and experienced ones at that. In addition, we can't seem to find the right people to work here. there are suitable people, but it is either they can't work on weekends or that they don't plan on working after their school holidays. Big sigh. Looking at this situation, there are many times when I almost said, "Forget everything, I will stay." But, stopping to consider, though, I wish, with every fiber of my being to stay, I am tired of the long hours and no-life life, in addition, I'd been kind of missing my small group sessions, which isn't good for my growth. The last factor is that, if I want to help my friends with the business, I can't stay at my current job. It is too close to betrayal, for my comfort. All in all, I want to explore new avenues, to find a place where I can truly put in my all and I'd love it too.
Thus, with all these inner conflicts, I was really distressed and frustrated by Ronny and the other friend.
Serious, I have no energy to go in and do any more things. Whether they are still pissed at me, I do not care. It is not my fault. True, I admit that it takes 2 hands to clap. Let's just say that I am very glad to have Angeline by my side. This morning, I'd realized that, even though we hadn't been meeting up or communicating as often as we did in poly, she still understood me. She understood my stand on things. I guess, this is when all those time in poly kicks in. The foundation of our friendship. Solid. Though I'd been mixing around with Ronny and another friend recently and less with her, in the end, it is Angeline who understands me better. Can't be blamed, I guess, because she had been there from day one. While he was only a shadow back in those times and now a random visitor.
From this, I am reminded that, time and effort does pay off. It is not affected by the lack of communication and the distance between 2 people. Now I know, to whom, do I truly matter. And who are the people who respects my point of view and tries to see from my side, even though they may not understand or even agree with my way of doing things.
I am truly in a lousy mood. Not in the sense of bad-tempered or anything. But, emotionally distressed and drained. Disillusioned.
He hadn't understood. They hadn't seen.
I do not know how to describe my current feelings and I am not in the mood to type down what had happened....so don't go wild-guessing. Lo.
Disillusioned. Hurt. Anger. Sadness. That he hadn't understood. That, after all this time of friendship, he hadn't understood what kind of person am I. True, we hadn't been close when we were in poly, but, I thought we had gotten closer this one year..that he at least, would have understood me a little better than this. And respected my decision.
I guess I am wrong.
Business hadn't been good this week, which was strike one. Strike two was that, a friend and I had argued on tuesday night...or maybe, wednesday morning, what was a simple greeting on MSN turned into some thing worse, in short, we quarrelled and we ended on a sour note. It kind of ruined my day. Strike three was that, last night, Ronny and I, somehow fought. Not as in fists...but..how to say? We had some disagreements and it ended badly too. As the saying goes, 3 strikes and you are out. This week had been pretty lousy for me.
I am quite stressed out by the lousy sales and my inner conflicts-job change. I'd given my one month notice to my boss. I feel really sad to leave her and feels bad too, because, this seems to be a bad timing for her. She is expanding, thus needs the manpower and experienced ones at that. In addition, we can't seem to find the right people to work here. there are suitable people, but it is either they can't work on weekends or that they don't plan on working after their school holidays. Big sigh. Looking at this situation, there are many times when I almost said, "Forget everything, I will stay." But, stopping to consider, though, I wish, with every fiber of my being to stay, I am tired of the long hours and no-life life, in addition, I'd been kind of missing my small group sessions, which isn't good for my growth. The last factor is that, if I want to help my friends with the business, I can't stay at my current job. It is too close to betrayal, for my comfort. All in all, I want to explore new avenues, to find a place where I can truly put in my all and I'd love it too.
Thus, with all these inner conflicts, I was really distressed and frustrated by Ronny and the other friend.
Serious, I have no energy to go in and do any more things. Whether they are still pissed at me, I do not care. It is not my fault. True, I admit that it takes 2 hands to clap. Let's just say that I am very glad to have Angeline by my side. This morning, I'd realized that, even though we hadn't been meeting up or communicating as often as we did in poly, she still understood me. She understood my stand on things. I guess, this is when all those time in poly kicks in. The foundation of our friendship. Solid. Though I'd been mixing around with Ronny and another friend recently and less with her, in the end, it is Angeline who understands me better. Can't be blamed, I guess, because she had been there from day one. While he was only a shadow back in those times and now a random visitor.
From this, I am reminded that, time and effort does pay off. It is not affected by the lack of communication and the distance between 2 people. Now I know, to whom, do I truly matter. And who are the people who respects my point of view and tries to see from my side, even though they may not understand or even agree with my way of doing things.
I am truly in a lousy mood. Not in the sense of bad-tempered or anything. But, emotionally distressed and drained. Disillusioned.
He hadn't understood. They hadn't seen.
I do not know how to describe my current feelings and I am not in the mood to type down what had happened....so don't go wild-guessing. Lo.
Disillusioned. Hurt. Anger. Sadness. That he hadn't understood. That, after all this time of friendship, he hadn't understood what kind of person am I. True, we hadn't been close when we were in poly, but, I thought we had gotten closer this one year..that he at least, would have understood me a little better than this. And respected my decision.
I guess I am wrong.
Light my path
12:38:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Monday, 6 March 2006
I'd went journeying around some friends' blogs and found some sort of test from Andrew's blog. Here is the link, if you are interested. The test is calculated based on our names.
http://www.paulsadowski.com/
As there's more than one version of name, I'd used both. Personally, I find the first one more accurate. Though, the 2nd test taken (using my hanyu ping ying name), has captured a little of my characteristics. The 3rd test is based on my birth date. Let you judge for yourselves...=)
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There are 11 letters in your name.
Those 11 letters total to 51.
There are 4 vowels and 7 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 6
The characteristics of #6 are: Responsibility, protection, nurturing, community, balance, sympathy.
The expression or destiny for #6:
The number 6 Expression provides you a truly outstanding sense of responsibility, love, and balance. The 6 is helpful and ever conscientious, making you quite capable of rectifying and balancing any sort of inharmonious situation. You are a person very much inclined to give help and comfort to those in need. You have a natural penchant for working with the old, the young, the sick, or the underprivileged. Although you may have considerable creative and artistic talents, the chances are that you will devote yourself to an occupation that shows concern for the betterment of the community.
The positive side of the number 6 suggests that you are very loving, friendly, and appreciative of others. You have a depth of understanding that produces much sympathetic, kindness, and generosity. The qualities of the 6 make the finest and most concerned parent and one often deeply involved in domestic activities. Openness and honesty is apparent in your approach to all relationships.
If there is an excess of the number 6 in your makeup, you may exhibit some of the negative traits associated with this number. There may be a tendency for you to be too exacting and demanding of yourself. In this regard, you may at times sacrifice yourself (or your loved ones) for the welfare of others. In some cases, the over zealous 6 has difficulty distinguishing helping from interfering. You may have difficulty expressing your own individuality, because of involvement with responsibilities and causes. Like all with the Expression of the number 6, it's quite likely that you worry much too much.
Your Soul Urge number is: 22
A Soul Urge number of 22 means: The Soul Urge of the master number 22 is very much that of the master builder. You would like to use your abilities in an important humanitarian undertaking, and have an innate desire is to express the significant power you feel in a concrete manner, as a builder, engineer, diplomat, etc. In some way you want to make a considerable contribution to the world.
The 22 gives a broad, universal outlook with a rather practical and common-sense approach. You have especially high intelligence, with an unusual perception and awareness. This number often denotes a high degree of diplomatic abilities and high ideals. You are a very capable person and you may possess special leadership abilities that you can and should develop. People respect you and recognize your superior foresight and vision.
The negative side of the 22 soul urge is a high degree of nervous energy and a tendency to be very dominating. It is unfortunate that all who possess the urge of 22 do not use its energies to the greatest advantage; but then it should be recognized that these energies are understandably the most difficult to focus and direct.
Your Inner Dream number is: 11
An Inner Dream number of 11 means: You dream of casting the light of illumination; of being the true idealist. You secretly believe there is more to life than we can know or prove, and you would like to be provider of the 'word' from on high.
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There are 10 letters in your name.
Those 10 letters total to 57.
There are 3 vowels and 7 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 3
The characteristics of #3 are:
Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, the joy of living.
The expression or destiny for #3:
An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. You are an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly, loving and social, and people like you because you are charming and such a good conversationalist. Your ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is your role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around you.
The negative side of number 3 Expression is superficiality. You may tend to scatter your forces and simply be too easygoing. It is advisable for the negative 3 to avoid dwelling on trivial matters, especially gossip.
Your Soul Urge number is: 3
A Soul Urge number of 3 means:
With the Soul Urge number 3 your desire in life is personal expression, and generally enjoying life to its fullest. You want to participate in an active social life and enjoy a large circle of friends. You want to be in the limelight, expressing your artistic or intellectual talents. Word skills may be your thing; speaking, writing, acting, singing. In a positive sense, the 3 energy is friendly, outgoing and always very social.
You have a decidedly upbeat attitude that is rarely discouraged; a good mental and emotional balance.
The 3 Soul Urge gives intuitive insight, thus, very high creative and inspirational tendencies. The truly outstanding trait shown by the 3 Soul Urge is that of self-expression, regardless of the field of endeavor.
On the negative side, you may at times become too easygoing and too optimistic, tending to scatter forces and accomplish very little. Often, the excessive 3 energy produces non-stop talkers. Everyone has faults, but the 3 soul urge doesn't appreciate having these pointed out.
Your Inner Dream number is: 9
An Inner Dream number of 9 means: You dream of being creative, intellectual, and universal; the selfless humanitarian. You understand the needy and what to help them. You would love to be a person, people count on for support and advice.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You entered: 2/23/1984
Your date of conception was on or about 2 June 1983 which was a Thursday.
You were born on a Thursday under the astrological sign Pisces.
Your Life path number is 11.
Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 6.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 9.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2445753.5.
The golden number for 1984 is 9.
The epact number for 1984 is 27.
The year 1984 was a leap year.
Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/2/1984 and ending 2/19/1985.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Rat.
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 22 April 1984.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 7 March 1984.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 10 June 1984.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 17 June 1984.The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 25 September 1984.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Sunday, 15 April 1984.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 6 March 1984.
As of 3/5/2006 10:59:48 AM EST-
You are 22 years old.
You are 265 months old.
You are 1,150 weeks old.
You are 8,046 days old.
You are 193,114 hours old.
You are 11,586,899 minutes old.
You are 695,213,988 seconds old.
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.14911937377691 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)
There are 355 days till your next birthday on which your cake will have 23 candles.
Those 23 candles produce 23 BTUs, or 5,796 calories of heat (that's only 5.7960 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.63 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 1984, there were approximately 3.6 million births in the US.
In 1984, the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1984, in the US there were 2,487,000 marriages (10.5%) and 1,155,000 divorces (4.9%).
In 1984, in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000).
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.
Your birthstone is Amethyst.
The Mystical properties of Amethyst-
Amethyst is used to increase spiritually.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone - (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Bloodstone, Onyx, Moonstone.
Your birth tree is
Pine Tree, the Particularity
Loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, many disappointments till it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.
There are 295 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 308 days till Orthodox Christmas!
The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was waning gibbous.
http://www.paulsadowski.com/
As there's more than one version of name, I'd used both. Personally, I find the first one more accurate. Though, the 2nd test taken (using my hanyu ping ying name), has captured a little of my characteristics. The 3rd test is based on my birth date. Let you judge for yourselves...=)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are 11 letters in your name.
Those 11 letters total to 51.
There are 4 vowels and 7 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 6
The characteristics of #6 are: Responsibility, protection, nurturing, community, balance, sympathy.
The expression or destiny for #6:
The number 6 Expression provides you a truly outstanding sense of responsibility, love, and balance. The 6 is helpful and ever conscientious, making you quite capable of rectifying and balancing any sort of inharmonious situation. You are a person very much inclined to give help and comfort to those in need. You have a natural penchant for working with the old, the young, the sick, or the underprivileged. Although you may have considerable creative and artistic talents, the chances are that you will devote yourself to an occupation that shows concern for the betterment of the community.
The positive side of the number 6 suggests that you are very loving, friendly, and appreciative of others. You have a depth of understanding that produces much sympathetic, kindness, and generosity. The qualities of the 6 make the finest and most concerned parent and one often deeply involved in domestic activities. Openness and honesty is apparent in your approach to all relationships.
If there is an excess of the number 6 in your makeup, you may exhibit some of the negative traits associated with this number. There may be a tendency for you to be too exacting and demanding of yourself. In this regard, you may at times sacrifice yourself (or your loved ones) for the welfare of others. In some cases, the over zealous 6 has difficulty distinguishing helping from interfering. You may have difficulty expressing your own individuality, because of involvement with responsibilities and causes. Like all with the Expression of the number 6, it's quite likely that you worry much too much.
Your Soul Urge number is: 22
A Soul Urge number of 22 means: The Soul Urge of the master number 22 is very much that of the master builder. You would like to use your abilities in an important humanitarian undertaking, and have an innate desire is to express the significant power you feel in a concrete manner, as a builder, engineer, diplomat, etc. In some way you want to make a considerable contribution to the world.
The 22 gives a broad, universal outlook with a rather practical and common-sense approach. You have especially high intelligence, with an unusual perception and awareness. This number often denotes a high degree of diplomatic abilities and high ideals. You are a very capable person and you may possess special leadership abilities that you can and should develop. People respect you and recognize your superior foresight and vision.
The negative side of the 22 soul urge is a high degree of nervous energy and a tendency to be very dominating. It is unfortunate that all who possess the urge of 22 do not use its energies to the greatest advantage; but then it should be recognized that these energies are understandably the most difficult to focus and direct.
Your Inner Dream number is: 11
An Inner Dream number of 11 means: You dream of casting the light of illumination; of being the true idealist. You secretly believe there is more to life than we can know or prove, and you would like to be provider of the 'word' from on high.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are 10 letters in your name.
Those 10 letters total to 57.
There are 3 vowels and 7 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 3
The characteristics of #3 are:
Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, the joy of living.
The expression or destiny for #3:
An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. You are an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly, loving and social, and people like you because you are charming and such a good conversationalist. Your ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is your role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around you.
The negative side of number 3 Expression is superficiality. You may tend to scatter your forces and simply be too easygoing. It is advisable for the negative 3 to avoid dwelling on trivial matters, especially gossip.
Your Soul Urge number is: 3
A Soul Urge number of 3 means:
With the Soul Urge number 3 your desire in life is personal expression, and generally enjoying life to its fullest. You want to participate in an active social life and enjoy a large circle of friends. You want to be in the limelight, expressing your artistic or intellectual talents. Word skills may be your thing; speaking, writing, acting, singing. In a positive sense, the 3 energy is friendly, outgoing and always very social.
You have a decidedly upbeat attitude that is rarely discouraged; a good mental and emotional balance.
The 3 Soul Urge gives intuitive insight, thus, very high creative and inspirational tendencies. The truly outstanding trait shown by the 3 Soul Urge is that of self-expression, regardless of the field of endeavor.
On the negative side, you may at times become too easygoing and too optimistic, tending to scatter forces and accomplish very little. Often, the excessive 3 energy produces non-stop talkers. Everyone has faults, but the 3 soul urge doesn't appreciate having these pointed out.
Your Inner Dream number is: 9
An Inner Dream number of 9 means: You dream of being creative, intellectual, and universal; the selfless humanitarian. You understand the needy and what to help them. You would love to be a person, people count on for support and advice.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You entered: 2/23/1984
Your date of conception was on or about 2 June 1983 which was a Thursday.
You were born on a Thursday under the astrological sign Pisces.
Your Life path number is 11.
Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 6.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 9.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2445753.5.
The golden number for 1984 is 9.
The epact number for 1984 is 27.
The year 1984 was a leap year.
Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/2/1984 and ending 2/19/1985.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Rat.
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 22 April 1984.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 7 March 1984.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 10 June 1984.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 17 June 1984.The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 25 September 1984.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Sunday, 15 April 1984.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 6 March 1984.
As of 3/5/2006 10:59:48 AM EST-
You are 22 years old.
You are 265 months old.
You are 1,150 weeks old.
You are 8,046 days old.
You are 193,114 hours old.
You are 11,586,899 minutes old.
You are 695,213,988 seconds old.
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.14911937377691 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)
There are 355 days till your next birthday on which your cake will have 23 candles.
Those 23 candles produce 23 BTUs, or 5,796 calories of heat (that's only 5.7960 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.63 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 1984, there were approximately 3.6 million births in the US.
In 1984, the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1984, in the US there were 2,487,000 marriages (10.5%) and 1,155,000 divorces (4.9%).
In 1984, in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000).
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.
Your birthstone is Amethyst.
The Mystical properties of Amethyst-
Amethyst is used to increase spiritually.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone - (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Bloodstone, Onyx, Moonstone.
Your birth tree is
Pine Tree, the Particularity
Loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, many disappointments till it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.
There are 295 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 308 days till Orthodox Christmas!
The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was waning gibbous.
Light my path
12:06:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Sunday, 5 March 2006
I'd woke up around 930, this morning, took a bath and prepared to go for church.
When I was across the street, I thought I'd seen my bus; but as I wasn't wearing glasses, I wasn't sure and hoped that it wasn't. Around 10 mins later, I was sure that the bus that I'd missed, was the one that I was suppose to take...Gah. But thank God that, I wasn't late for service, in addition, the bus that I'd board wasn't as crowded as the one that I'd missed. So, I guess, it was good that I'd missed that bus, right?=p
Upon reaching my church, I headed for the section where I usually sit, but there wasn't any seats available; thus I made my way to another section and saw Winnie and her parents. So, in the end, I sat with them.
As usual, I was struggling to concentrate on worshipping the Lord. My mind kept wandering, from the person beside me to my friends and what I would be doing after service. Bad. Right? Haiz. I was quite uncomfortable during the worship as the people around me were standing too close. On my right, was Winnie, on my left was a stranger. I felt closed in, with not much space in between. Winnie is alright, as I know her. But the other person was a stranger and it was like, my personal space was being invaded. I was thoroughly uncomfortable throughout the whole worship.
Today's sermon, though short, was very meaningful. The title was "True Discipleship. 万事如意。" 万事如意 simply means something like - 10 000 wishes or wants come true, just the way you want them. The preacher had then asked,
For us, believers, our answers will, of course be, (I hope), "万事如主的意" (according to the Lord's will.)"
" 'If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be My disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow Me cannot be My disciple.
"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'
"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be My disciple. "
Does that means that we'd have to hate our loved ones, in order to follow Christ? To be true disciples of Christ? Or will many of us run away screaming like crazy?
Those are hard words, indeed. To make those who were hearing His words or reading them, realize the seriousness of it all. The seriousness of following Christ. I am reminded of a verse,
"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven."
Everyone who has put their faith in Jesus Christ, are Christians, but how many are true disciples? Before anyone goes mad or wants to kill me, let me elaborate what the preacher had said.
In verse 26, Jesus had said that, if we do not hate "his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be My disciple." Here, Jesus is using a Semitic expression of exaggeration. Christ is not telling us literally, to hate our loved ones.
"Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. "
Following Christ means giving up everything. A true disciple carries with him, only one possession, his cross. Again, I'd like to emphasize that God is not telling us to give up everything, like our jobs, cars, families, loved ones, hobbies, etc. I think He means that following Christ means, giving up everything that hinders us or causes us to lose our focus on Him.
"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
Scary, eh? But God encourages us with this -
"Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent."
Do not fear the Lord's rebuke or discipline, for He is the gentlest of all. Hadn't he said- "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline."?
Looking at ourselves, perhaps we should examine our hearts.
i) How do we view our love and commitment to God?
Obedience is an indicator of what is in our hearts.
Having said all these, let me end with what the preacher had said,
"Don't walk the fuzzy line between devotion to God and other loves."
When I was across the street, I thought I'd seen my bus; but as I wasn't wearing glasses, I wasn't sure and hoped that it wasn't. Around 10 mins later, I was sure that the bus that I'd missed, was the one that I was suppose to take...Gah. But thank God that, I wasn't late for service, in addition, the bus that I'd board wasn't as crowded as the one that I'd missed. So, I guess, it was good that I'd missed that bus, right?=p
Upon reaching my church, I headed for the section where I usually sit, but there wasn't any seats available; thus I made my way to another section and saw Winnie and her parents. So, in the end, I sat with them.
As usual, I was struggling to concentrate on worshipping the Lord. My mind kept wandering, from the person beside me to my friends and what I would be doing after service. Bad. Right? Haiz. I was quite uncomfortable during the worship as the people around me were standing too close. On my right, was Winnie, on my left was a stranger. I felt closed in, with not much space in between. Winnie is alright, as I know her. But the other person was a stranger and it was like, my personal space was being invaded. I was thoroughly uncomfortable throughout the whole worship.
Today's sermon, though short, was very meaningful. The title was "True Discipleship. 万事如意。" 万事如意 simply means something like - 10 000 wishes or wants come true, just the way you want them. The preacher had then asked,
"如谁的意？"
(According to who's wishes/will?)
For us, believers, our answers will, of course be, (I hope), "万事如主的意" (according to the Lord's will.)"
He read a passage for us, from Luke 14:26-33.
" 'If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be My disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow Me cannot be My disciple.
"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'
"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be My disciple. "
Does that means that we'd have to hate our loved ones, in order to follow Christ? To be true disciples of Christ? Or will many of us run away screaming like crazy?
Those are hard words, indeed. To make those who were hearing His words or reading them, realize the seriousness of it all. The seriousness of following Christ. I am reminded of a verse,
"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven."
- Matthew 7:21
Everyone who has put their faith in Jesus Christ, are Christians, but how many are true disciples? Before anyone goes mad or wants to kill me, let me elaborate what the preacher had said.
In verse 26, Jesus had said that, if we do not hate "his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be My disciple." Here, Jesus is using a Semitic expression of exaggeration. Christ is not telling us literally, to hate our loved ones.
He is saying that we should love God more than anyone or anything else. That we cannot be true disciples of Christ, until we break free from everything that hinders us or causes us to love anyone/anything more than God. Jesus doesn't oppose love for our loved ones, but He opposes disproportionate love.
"Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. "
- Luke 14:27.
Following Christ means giving up everything. A true disciple carries with him, only one possession, his cross. Again, I'd like to emphasize that God is not telling us to give up everything, like our jobs, cars, families, loved ones, hobbies, etc. I think He means that following Christ means, giving up everything that hinders us or causes us to lose our focus on Him.
"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
-Rev 3:15-16
Scary, eh? But God encourages us with this -
"Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent."
- Rev 3:19
Do not fear the Lord's rebuke or discipline, for He is the gentlest of all. Hadn't he said- "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline."?
Looking at ourselves, perhaps we should examine our hearts.
i) How do we view our love and commitment to God?
ii) How is our obedience to God?
iii) What about our love for God?
iv) What is our response to those hard words of Jesus?
Obedience is an indicator of what is in our hearts.
Having said all these, let me end with what the preacher had said,
"Don't walk the fuzzy line between devotion to God and other loves."
Light my path
4:27:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Saturday, 4 March 2006
If love between both sides can last,
Why need they stay together,
Night and day?
-Taken from a book.
Light my path
1:24:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
What happened to unrequited love?
The feeling faded with time...
Because it was not meant to be...
Light my path
1:16:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Friday, 3 March 2006
The day begins...At Sentosa's Delifrance.
----Acrobatic antics..Woo Ha!!
Our wonderful brothers
------I'm thirsty. Here...have some water.....
---Fashion show..Strikes a pose.
---A pretty picture
---Let me help you, into the water.
---Aa...how cooling..
--Peek-a-boo!
--Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil...and..??
---The uprising stars of the world's biggest kungfu movie!!
The Underwater World
---------Look!! I'd caught a fallen star!
-------Yummy....
Seafood, anyone???
--Shark egg
---------Rwwor!!!
---Busy....slacking??
<<--When's the bus coming, huh? I'm toasting..
----So sweet.....
---Where's everyone looking at?! Look HERE!!
------I'm SCARED of heights.....
Musical Fountain
Dinner at Pastamania
-----I'm REALLY hungry
--A beautiful rose...(Thank you, Danny)
----Where are my eyes??
---Mango ice-cream cake from Swensens
....Cut the cake....First-aid? Oh ya...for whoever that had put in that hand. Hmm..I wonder who...
-----Yum...it is good. Care to have some?
----Are you SERIOUS??!! How could it be??!!
-------Presents time!! YAY!!!
-------OOohh.......Kitties!!! I love them!! Thank you, Angel!!*Mwacks!*
*For more photos, please click on the following links*
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AZt3DdwzaNmHA
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AZt3DdwzaNmHR
Light my path
6:06:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
the girl
An easy-going gal who thinks and agonizes too much. Weird personality. Not an easy person to love, but desires to be loved. Jesus Christ is my Lord!
addicts
chocolate. reading. writing.
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"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:30
*[[____ blabbers (: `-//*
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Rain Swept I
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(Don't knock it till you've tried it! Don't dismiss Rain without knowing him!)
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Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9
A psalm of David.
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
"Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"
Jeremiah 33:3