`` my daily journey. [#] `-
Falling.
Falling.
I am falling at an alarming rate.
Like the eagle
That was high in the sky,
Until it had its wings clipped.
Plummeting.
Plummeting.
I am plummeting.
From the most glorious highs
To the darkest lows.
Is there no one out there,
Who has heard my cry?
Hasn't anyone seen my fall?
When will help come?
When will the help
That I need arrive?
Speaking words that
Soothe this confusion.
Filling this empty void.
I don't need any half-hearted efforts.
For they served no purpose
Except to push me
Deeper into the abyss.
Is there no one out there,
Who has heard my cry?
Hasn't anyone seen my fall?
Can no one see
Past this facade?
This mask of an angry person?
Drawing blood whenever
Someone draws near.
That it is a desperate cry
For help?
Yearning for a soul
Brave enough not to mind
Getting cut up in the process,
In order to reach,
This scared and fragile girl
Underneath the shell that repulses.
Will no one come?
Can you not hear?
I am calling you.
Calling you to my side.
To save me.
Calling you.
Calling you.
Please come,
For I cannot hang on anymore.
As I had fallen very far,
And still am falling rapidly.
Please come.
That is, if you had intended to come.
Light my path
10:13:00 pm
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
In the silence of the night,
You appeared in a gentle whisper,
In the midst of falling leaves.
Sensing your presence in the night's air,
I hastened to turn around.
Glad to have you back
And relieved that
You didn't wander off to Kyoto.
When I saw your face,
I wished I hadn't turned around.
Your expression spoke volumes
Though you had yet to utter a word.
My heart sank.
Suddenly, the cool wind
Had became unbearably cold.
Cutting into the depths of my innermost being.
You told me then,
That you want to leave.
For Kyoto.
I sank into despair.
My worst nightmare had became reality
On this night.
Despite this, rallying my remaining wits,
I shook you,
Hoping that it'd wake you to your senses.
Begging you not to go.
Not to leave my side.
What can I do?
What should I do?!
I screamed at myself,
Trying frantically to find
The words to make you stay.
The moment.
The moment,
You engulfed me in your arms.
All was lost,
My heart knew.
Nothing I say or do,
Would change your mind.
All inner turmoil fell away.
Quietened and soothed
By your embrace.
And became cold stillness.
Unbidden tears spilt
From wide and frozen eyes.
With the most beautiful smile,
That I'd ever seen,
Yet the saddest,
You bade me farewell.
Turned and disappeared.
Swallowed by the inky darkness of the night.
The echoes of your footsteps
Grew fainter and fainter.
Leading away from me.
You went away
And I could not do a thing.
This is my latest piece of work for Rurouni Kenshin….=)
Light my path
11:49:00 pm
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Light my path
1:34:00 am
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Light my path
12:39:00 am
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Sunday, 13 November 2005
Falling into Abyss
Falling.
Falling.
I am falling at an alarming rate.
Like the eagle
That was high in the sky,
Until it had its wings clipped.
Plummeting.
Plummeting.
I am plummeting.
From the most glorious highs
To the darkest lows.
Is there no one out there,
Who has heard my cry?
Hasn't anyone seen my fall?
When will help come?
When will the help
That I need arrive?
Speaking words that
Soothe this confusion.
Filling this empty void.
I don't need any half-hearted efforts.
For they served no purpose
Except to push me
Deeper into the abyss.
Is there no one out there,
Who has heard my cry?
Hasn't anyone seen my fall?
Can no one see
Past this facade?
This mask of an angry person?
Drawing blood whenever
Someone draws near.
That it is a desperate cry
For help?
Yearning for a soul
Brave enough not to mind
Getting cut up in the process,
In order to reach,
This scared and fragile girl
Underneath the shell that repulses.
Will no one come?
Can you not hear?
I am calling you.
Calling you to my side.
To save me.
Calling you.
Calling you.
Please come,
For I cannot hang on anymore.
As I had fallen very far,
And still am falling rapidly.
Please come.
That is, if you had intended to come.
Light my path
10:13:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Wednesday, 9 November 2005
His Goodbye, Her Feelings
In the silence of the night,
You appeared in a gentle whisper,
In the midst of falling leaves.
Sensing your presence in the night's air,
I hastened to turn around.
Glad to have you back
And relieved that
You didn't wander off to Kyoto.
When I saw your face,
I wished I hadn't turned around.
Your expression spoke volumes
Though you had yet to utter a word.
My heart sank.
Suddenly, the cool wind
Had became unbearably cold.
Cutting into the depths of my innermost being.
You told me then,
That you want to leave.
For Kyoto.
I sank into despair.
My worst nightmare had became reality
On this night.
Despite this, rallying my remaining wits,
I shook you,
Hoping that it'd wake you to your senses.
Begging you not to go.
Not to leave my side.
What can I do?
What should I do?!
I screamed at myself,
Trying frantically to find
The words to make you stay.
The moment.
The moment,
You engulfed me in your arms.
All was lost,
My heart knew.
Nothing I say or do,
Would change your mind.
All inner turmoil fell away.
Quietened and soothed
By your embrace.
And became cold stillness.
Unbidden tears spilt
From wide and frozen eyes.
With the most beautiful smile,
That I'd ever seen,
Yet the saddest,
You bade me farewell.
Turned and disappeared.
Swallowed by the inky darkness of the night.
The echoes of your footsteps
Grew fainter and fainter.
Leading away from me.
You went away
And I could not do a thing.
This is my latest piece of work for Rurouni Kenshin….=)
Light my path
11:49:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Monday, 7 November 2005
For ten years, I had wandered.
Travelling through this beautiful land.
Seeing faces filled with joy and contentment.
Leaving behind my past
And shedding my old self.
Battousai, the man who lived in the shadows,
Is no more.
In his place, is Himura Kenshin,
A wanderer.
It was lonely,
But it was worth it.
To see the new era that I had helped built.
By blood.
Violence and deaths.
An era of peace and hope.
The sunny smiles of men and women,
Without a trace of underlying fear.
The hope of a peaceful future.
The joy of living in a better time.
It was worth it.
I am content.
Even though no one knew
About who I was,
It is alright.
This should be the way too.
Better to be ignorant,
Than to know the horrors
Behind the establishment of this era.
It is a little lonely,
Walking alone,
But that is how it is.
Travelling through this beautiful land.
Seeing faces filled with joy and contentment.
Leaving behind my past
And shedding my old self.
Battousai, the man who lived in the shadows,
Is no more.
In his place, is Himura Kenshin,
A wanderer.
It was lonely,
But it was worth it.
To see the new era that I had helped built.
By blood.
Violence and deaths.
An era of peace and hope.
The sunny smiles of men and women,
Without a trace of underlying fear.
The hope of a peaceful future.
The joy of living in a better time.
It was worth it.
I am content.
Even though no one knew
About who I was,
It is alright.
This should be the way too.
Better to be ignorant,
Than to know the horrors
Behind the establishment of this era.
It is a little lonely,
Walking alone,
But that is how it is.
Yep..this is a piece that I had wrote...=) But, truly, this is not enough to convey his feelings, inner struggles and deep-sitted pain.
This is the link to my story, though I doubt that you will be able to direct link to the page...
If, if, you are really interested, you can go to http://www.fanfiction.net and click on Anime, then, scroll to find Rurouni Kenshin, click on the word 'Search' and type in the words "Heart & Sword". You should be able to read my work..=) Those who know me, will know my user-name..=)
Hmm...but I think none of you out there would really bother going through all these to read my work, huh..=)
Light my path
1:34:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Hmm...this will be short..as it is 0039 in the morning and I have to work tomorrow.Sales had been picking up this week. There was a day when sales was so good that I was quite fearful. It was like things are too good to be true.
Frankly speaking, I am not doing very well in my walk with the Lord. I'd appreciate some prayers, but not prying. Thank you.
I'd forgotten how, but I am once again drawn into the world of Rurouni Kenshin..=) I'd been listening to the mp3 every time I switch on my laptop and going to Fanfiction.net to read Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction....
I cannot help but be touched by a man such as Himura Kenshin. A man who lost his parents at a very young age and one who even made tombs and buried those who were killed, even though most of them were his captors. A person who has a very, very compassionate heart. So much so that he even sacrificed his heart, his life, his very soul, to bring about the new Meji era. One who didn't mind being severely shortchanged, but treated everyone with due respect. He gave his childhood, his happiness and his life for the better lives of others.
The first two or three times that I'd read my Rurouni Kenshin manga, I wasn't this depressed or despondent. But this time, when I read more fanfiction stories, I grew to understand a little more of the hell that Kenshin went through. His pain, his sacrifices are unimaginable. As I continued to read, I found myself more drawn in to his past and his selfless deeds and I grew sadder. I wanted to cry for him, yet was unable to, at the same time.
I guess, all of us go through different kinds of pain, at some point in our lives. Kenshin's pain stained him for life. Yet the world was none the wiser of what he had done, what he'd gave up and what he had took upon himself, to give the people a new era of peace and hope.
Of course, he wouldn't have wanted or expected thanks or gratitude for his deeds. I believe he is contented as long as the people no longer had to live in fear daily. Those people had took so much away from him and gave him so little in return.
You may think that I am silly or something, since this is just a manga. But, somehow, Himura Kenshin has changed from a character in a story to a real hero, in the flesh, in my eyes. To me, he is very real.
But, I am glad that he found happiness in the end. He deserves it and more. So much more. So very much more.
There are quite a number of tragic figures in Rurouni Kenshin. Like Aoshi. Megumi. Sano.
Ah.....I'm getting real depressed. Sob.
Call me naive or what, but I wish that there would never ever have people like Kenshin. His life is simply too tragic.
All these made me wonder : Are the moments of happiness enough to cover a lifetime of sadness and pain?
Ai suru Hito o Mamoru Tame ni (To Defend The One He Loves)
Surely man was born
Don't break your dream
Even though I know we will be drenched
Well, let's not hold back and just plunge in the rain
Like the bright rainbow
After the storm has passed
Morning that cannot be beaten by sadness
The door of dreams opens
Surely man was born
To defend the one he loves
The finger that wipes off your tears
Even a little violence
Perhaps a man would surely fight
Until the pain in his heart disappears
If there is no love If one is not strong
One cannot be kind
Don't break your dream
Smile once again
Drowning memories steeped in crime down the sea
A man goes out once more for an endless journey
Even if the fierce winds blow
And blow away the smile
If one has courage in his heart
Someday he shall meet his dream
Surely man was born
To defend the one he loves
If there is no love If one is not strong
One cannot be kind
Don't break your dream
Smile once again
Surely man was born
To defend the one he loves
The finger that wipes off your tears
Even a little violence
Perhaps a man would surely fight
Until the pain in his heart disappears
If there is no love If one is not strong
One cannot be kind
This song is a song from the Rurouni Kenshin series. Really very wonderful...=)
Thank you, Himura Kenshin.
Frankly speaking, I am not doing very well in my walk with the Lord. I'd appreciate some prayers, but not prying. Thank you.
I'd forgotten how, but I am once again drawn into the world of Rurouni Kenshin..=) I'd been listening to the mp3 every time I switch on my laptop and going to Fanfiction.net to read Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction....
I cannot help but be touched by a man such as Himura Kenshin. A man who lost his parents at a very young age and one who even made tombs and buried those who were killed, even though most of them were his captors. A person who has a very, very compassionate heart. So much so that he even sacrificed his heart, his life, his very soul, to bring about the new Meji era. One who didn't mind being severely shortchanged, but treated everyone with due respect. He gave his childhood, his happiness and his life for the better lives of others.
The first two or three times that I'd read my Rurouni Kenshin manga, I wasn't this depressed or despondent. But this time, when I read more fanfiction stories, I grew to understand a little more of the hell that Kenshin went through. His pain, his sacrifices are unimaginable. As I continued to read, I found myself more drawn in to his past and his selfless deeds and I grew sadder. I wanted to cry for him, yet was unable to, at the same time.
I guess, all of us go through different kinds of pain, at some point in our lives. Kenshin's pain stained him for life. Yet the world was none the wiser of what he had done, what he'd gave up and what he had took upon himself, to give the people a new era of peace and hope.
Of course, he wouldn't have wanted or expected thanks or gratitude for his deeds. I believe he is contented as long as the people no longer had to live in fear daily. Those people had took so much away from him and gave him so little in return.
You may think that I am silly or something, since this is just a manga. But, somehow, Himura Kenshin has changed from a character in a story to a real hero, in the flesh, in my eyes. To me, he is very real.
But, I am glad that he found happiness in the end. He deserves it and more. So much more. So very much more.
There are quite a number of tragic figures in Rurouni Kenshin. Like Aoshi. Megumi. Sano.
Ah.....I'm getting real depressed. Sob.
Call me naive or what, but I wish that there would never ever have people like Kenshin. His life is simply too tragic.
All these made me wonder : Are the moments of happiness enough to cover a lifetime of sadness and pain?
Ai suru Hito o Mamoru Tame ni (To Defend The One He Loves)
Surely man was born
To defend the one he loves
If there is no love If one is not strong
One cannot be kind
Don't break your dream
Smile once again
Even though I know we will be drenched
Well, let's not hold back and just plunge in the rain
Like the bright rainbow
After the storm has passed
Morning that cannot be beaten by sadness
The door of dreams opens
Surely man was born
To defend the one he loves
The finger that wipes off your tears
Even a little violence
Perhaps a man would surely fight
Until the pain in his heart disappears
If there is no love If one is not strong
One cannot be kind
Don't break your dream
Smile once again
Drowning memories steeped in crime down the sea
A man goes out once more for an endless journey
Even if the fierce winds blow
And blow away the smile
If one has courage in his heart
Someday he shall meet his dream
Surely man was born
To defend the one he loves
If there is no love If one is not strong
One cannot be kind
Don't break your dream
Smile once again
Surely man was born
To defend the one he loves
The finger that wipes off your tears
Even a little violence
Perhaps a man would surely fight
Until the pain in his heart disappears
If there is no love If one is not strong
One cannot be kind
This song is a song from the Rurouni Kenshin series. Really very wonderful...=)
Thank you, Himura Kenshin.
Light my path
12:39:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
the girl
An easy-going gal who thinks and agonizes too much. Weird personality. Not an easy person to love, but desires to be loved. Jesus Christ is my Lord!
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"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:30
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Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9
A psalm of David.
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
"Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"
Jeremiah 33:3