`` my daily journey. [#] `-
Light my path
1:12:00 pm
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Light my path
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Light my path
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Light my path
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Light my path
11:53:00 pm
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Light my path
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Light my path
10:56:00 pm
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Light my path
8:52:00 pm
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Light my path
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Light my path
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Light my path
7:03:00 pm
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Light my path
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Saturday, 24 September 2005
UrrrggHH....T.T
I woke up this morning the the obnoxiously loud voice of my eldest sister. She was talking in super loud tones...Bah.
I had slept at 3am in the morning, this is definitely not a good wake-up call...Haiz.
Annoyed and unable to fall asleep again, I switched on my laptop and continued with the Yu Yu Hakusho RPG that I had downloaded yesterday. I was unable to concentrate. My stomach felt queasy and I went to the toilet...*you get the idea*
After some time, I decided to take some medicine. Covering myself with a blanket, I settled down to watch the re-run of a Hong Kong drama serial. Everything was fine, until I started feeling nauseous. I made a run for the kitchen sink. After some gagging, last night's dinner and the medicine came out. Not wanting the yucky stuff to come out from my nose, I pinched it very hard, but because the stuff were coming out too fast, some got into my nose...The sensation and taste was super icky.
I guess by now, you must be going "Ewww...."
Oh well, too bad.
Arrgghhh.....My stomach's still feeling quite bad. It is empty now, with nothing to throw up..but still it feels queasy..T.T
Haiz...
Not a good way to spend a weekend and my off-day..
Help.............
I woke up this morning the the obnoxiously loud voice of my eldest sister. She was talking in super loud tones...Bah.
I had slept at 3am in the morning, this is definitely not a good wake-up call...Haiz.
Annoyed and unable to fall asleep again, I switched on my laptop and continued with the Yu Yu Hakusho RPG that I had downloaded yesterday. I was unable to concentrate. My stomach felt queasy and I went to the toilet...*you get the idea*
After some time, I decided to take some medicine. Covering myself with a blanket, I settled down to watch the re-run of a Hong Kong drama serial. Everything was fine, until I started feeling nauseous. I made a run for the kitchen sink. After some gagging, last night's dinner and the medicine came out. Not wanting the yucky stuff to come out from my nose, I pinched it very hard, but because the stuff were coming out too fast, some got into my nose...The sensation and taste was super icky.
I guess by now, you must be going "Ewww...."
Oh well, too bad.
Arrgghhh.....My stomach's still feeling quite bad. It is empty now, with nothing to throw up..but still it feels queasy..T.T
Haiz...
Not a good way to spend a weekend and my off-day..
Help.............
Light my path
1:12:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Thursday, 22 September 2005
Hmm....I hadn't been updated for awhile, yes? Well, I must confess that I had been lazy and tired. I just wasn't in the mood to update after coming home dead-beat from work. But today is different! Tomorrow is the start of my long weekend! Yep!=)
Last Sunday, Ronny, Angeline and I went East Coast for rollerblading. I met Ronny at the Singapore Post Centre at Paya Lebar, for lunch and because, I don't know how to make my way to East Coast....*psst...it's a secret, don't tell anyone, k?=p* He was late, thus I exploited him mercilessly. He treated me to Long John Silver's. Hee hee!!=) When we were almost done with eating, he commented that he's very full and didn't feel like moving. One thing led to another, he continued, saying that he don't feel like going rollerblading after all. After Angeline arrived, we moseyed around for awhile before setting off for East Coast. (Though I think Angeline wanted to kill Ronny for almost backing out of the trip to East Coast, as she'd brought her rollerblades.)
Upon reaching, as we watched at the people whizzing by, Ronny and I began to have misgivings. He suggested that we go cycling instead. Angeline was like "............" and told me to change my clothes first. I was still quite ready to try out rollerblading, till we got to the shop. There and then, I changed my mind and asked if I could go cycling instead, while the two of them rollerbladed. She said that if I go cycling, Ronny would want to cycle too ('cause he wasn't that keen on rollerblading anymore). Then, she said, it is up to us, but she would rollerblade. Taking in a deep breath, I decided to plunge in and do it.
As we put on our gear, my misgivings mounted. They went on overdrive when I was guided away from the bench, to the locker area. When Angeline and I had put away our stuff, a helper guided me down the slope to where Ronny was (Angeline needed no help). The trip down the short slope was scary. Downright scary. I was frantic. Very much so. I ended up at the bars with an "oomph!", as I was crusing down the slope pretty fast, but nevertheless, very glad that I was alive. Ronny teased me saying that I must have dislodged the banner which was hanging up from the bars. Duh. It was on the floor when I arrived! Heh. Feeling unjustified, I turned to a girl who was beside me when I arrived at the bars and asked if the banner was on the floor before I arrived? Amused at our antics, she smiled and said, "Yes." I looked triumphantly at him and "heh"-ed.
Bah.
All monkeying aside, we started. Angeline was doing more than fine by herself - she had bladed before. Duh. She even had her own pair of blades!=) Ronny was doing adequately. I was struggling. And drowning. After some time, he was able to navigate and bladed fine by himself. I was still moseying along and struggling not to fall. I couldn't blade over the road humps. Whenever I tried, I'd roll backwards and result in a near-fall. After trying many times and failing and falling, I navigated around the hump, instead. Bah. Overall, I fell on my knees once and thrice on my butt. By the end of the session, I could cruise along a little and even managed to blade over a slight road hump. Angeline aside (since she could blade fine), Ronny did pretty well, or as the shop assistant said, "very well for a first-timer". Me? I suppose I am doing below average. Ha.
Honestly, as I rollerbladed, I was really very scared when I could feel that I am losing control (not that I had much to begin with). It was a long, long time since I had this feeling. Very long time. I was really terrified, to put it mildly. Petrified, may be a more suitable word. Not quite enough to put a word to describe my feelings then, but it will have to do. This feeling, you wouldn't understand. But try imagining yourself in a situation, like you are driving, the brakes are not working and you are heading straight for a wall, or tree or pedestrian, you will hit it in 3 seconds. What will you feel? I had felt real scared as I had total no control over where I want to go and the speed at which I want to travel at.
I hadn't really wanted to go rollerblading when I saw how scary it was. But I know that I am a person who tends to stay in her comfort zone, thus I decided to give it a go and be more adventurous. I don't want to go through life being scared and cowardly.
Just yesterday, I think, meaning Wednesday. Angeline told us that she can't make it for our outing this Saturday. She'd wanted to take time off to dwell in God's presence. I forgot what we had talked about that led to my thinking of some thing.
I remembered feeling left behind and lonely when I looked up from rollerblading, but could only see Angeline and Ronny's disappearing backs. At that point of time, I felt like Sakura from Naruto. She was the weakest in Team 7. She was almost always being protected, always looking at the backs of Naruto and Sasuke. I had felt like her then, slow and weak, helpless. Spiritually, I feel that way too. It seems like I am always looking at the backs of others. Always slow. And worst, lost.
Thanks to the Lord, sales this week were alright. They got better day by day..=) From Tuesday, I was aiming for at least $300, but didn't hit it, almost, but didn't. It was the same for yesterday too, almost, but never. Finally! Today, sales hit and went passed the mark! Thank God! Many times during the week, when I'd thought, this is IT. God would bring in people to buy stuff and the sales would go up. Thank God for His blessings..=)
Still, I think I must learn to give thanks and be joyful in ALL circumstances. Be the sales good or bad. I have so much to learn!=)
Thank God for what had happened just now. There was this customer who expressed interest in a bracelet. He commented on the price. I told him that it was imported from the U.S, thus, the higher price. He said he don't care where we import our things from. The normal me would have bristled at his words, but strangely I wasn't much affected and even had a clear mind to ask God for help and patience. Previously, I'd most probably had flared up or something. But just now, I even smiled nicely and served him with politeness. Even I was surprised. Later, when he had paid for the bracelet, I'd wanted to give him the receipt, but he said, no need, as there weren't any guarantee anyway (he's referring to exchange). Through out the whole exchange, I didn't make a rude face or speak in a less than polite tone. I was slighly surprised. It was like, somehow, no matter what this guy did or can do, will ruffle my feathers.
Yep..=]
Thank God! Yes?
Yes!!!!!!!=)
Guess what?=) I had received my poly graduation photos!!! Yep!!!!!!!!
YAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is a long story..Ronny had offered to ask his father to pass the photos order form to the photo studio staff, after I had missed out on it. After a few days, I think about a week, when he and Angeline came to my work place, to collect the stuff that he had helped her do, he told me that he had forgotten to give the order form to his father. I freaked out, mildly. Yep. He told me that he had called the photo studio to inform them and had brought stamps so that he could help me post the form, except that he'd no envelope. In the end, I took back the form and the offered stamps. I intended to post them as soon as possible. But somehow, someway, I had only posted the order form last Sunday. Yep. Last Sunday. 2 months late. As I posted the form, I wondered if I would really get my graduation photos and expected the staff to call me, telling me that they are sorry, but it had been too long and they had dumped the negatives. But, I got a pleasant surprise when I walked in the door just now. My 3rd sister told me that there was something for me.
Surprise. Surprise. It was my photos!=)
Yep. Yep.
I am very glad to get them, though the photos were less than flattering.
One was taken quite nicely, but my eyes were closed. The other one, was a small compensation, my eyes were half-opened, but the angle of the camera wasn't that good.
Duh.
Never mind.
I don't mind. I am very grateful to be able to get my graduation photos..=D
Thank God!
Last Sunday, Ronny, Angeline and I went East Coast for rollerblading. I met Ronny at the Singapore Post Centre at Paya Lebar, for lunch and because, I don't know how to make my way to East Coast....*psst...it's a secret, don't tell anyone, k?=p* He was late, thus I exploited him mercilessly. He treated me to Long John Silver's. Hee hee!!=) When we were almost done with eating, he commented that he's very full and didn't feel like moving. One thing led to another, he continued, saying that he don't feel like going rollerblading after all. After Angeline arrived, we moseyed around for awhile before setting off for East Coast. (Though I think Angeline wanted to kill Ronny for almost backing out of the trip to East Coast, as she'd brought her rollerblades.)
Upon reaching, as we watched at the people whizzing by, Ronny and I began to have misgivings. He suggested that we go cycling instead. Angeline was like "............" and told me to change my clothes first. I was still quite ready to try out rollerblading, till we got to the shop. There and then, I changed my mind and asked if I could go cycling instead, while the two of them rollerbladed. She said that if I go cycling, Ronny would want to cycle too ('cause he wasn't that keen on rollerblading anymore). Then, she said, it is up to us, but she would rollerblade. Taking in a deep breath, I decided to plunge in and do it.
As we put on our gear, my misgivings mounted. They went on overdrive when I was guided away from the bench, to the locker area. When Angeline and I had put away our stuff, a helper guided me down the slope to where Ronny was (Angeline needed no help). The trip down the short slope was scary. Downright scary. I was frantic. Very much so. I ended up at the bars with an "oomph!", as I was crusing down the slope pretty fast, but nevertheless, very glad that I was alive. Ronny teased me saying that I must have dislodged the banner which was hanging up from the bars. Duh. It was on the floor when I arrived! Heh. Feeling unjustified, I turned to a girl who was beside me when I arrived at the bars and asked if the banner was on the floor before I arrived? Amused at our antics, she smiled and said, "Yes." I looked triumphantly at him and "heh"-ed.
Bah.
All monkeying aside, we started. Angeline was doing more than fine by herself - she had bladed before. Duh. She even had her own pair of blades!=) Ronny was doing adequately. I was struggling. And drowning. After some time, he was able to navigate and bladed fine by himself. I was still moseying along and struggling not to fall. I couldn't blade over the road humps. Whenever I tried, I'd roll backwards and result in a near-fall. After trying many times and failing and falling, I navigated around the hump, instead. Bah. Overall, I fell on my knees once and thrice on my butt. By the end of the session, I could cruise along a little and even managed to blade over a slight road hump. Angeline aside (since she could blade fine), Ronny did pretty well, or as the shop assistant said, "very well for a first-timer". Me? I suppose I am doing below average. Ha.
Honestly, as I rollerbladed, I was really very scared when I could feel that I am losing control (not that I had much to begin with). It was a long, long time since I had this feeling. Very long time. I was really terrified, to put it mildly. Petrified, may be a more suitable word. Not quite enough to put a word to describe my feelings then, but it will have to do. This feeling, you wouldn't understand. But try imagining yourself in a situation, like you are driving, the brakes are not working and you are heading straight for a wall, or tree or pedestrian, you will hit it in 3 seconds. What will you feel? I had felt real scared as I had total no control over where I want to go and the speed at which I want to travel at.
I hadn't really wanted to go rollerblading when I saw how scary it was. But I know that I am a person who tends to stay in her comfort zone, thus I decided to give it a go and be more adventurous. I don't want to go through life being scared and cowardly.
Just yesterday, I think, meaning Wednesday. Angeline told us that she can't make it for our outing this Saturday. She'd wanted to take time off to dwell in God's presence. I forgot what we had talked about that led to my thinking of some thing.
I remembered feeling left behind and lonely when I looked up from rollerblading, but could only see Angeline and Ronny's disappearing backs. At that point of time, I felt like Sakura from Naruto. She was the weakest in Team 7. She was almost always being protected, always looking at the backs of Naruto and Sasuke. I had felt like her then, slow and weak, helpless. Spiritually, I feel that way too. It seems like I am always looking at the backs of others. Always slow. And worst, lost.
Thanks to the Lord, sales this week were alright. They got better day by day..=) From Tuesday, I was aiming for at least $300, but didn't hit it, almost, but didn't. It was the same for yesterday too, almost, but never. Finally! Today, sales hit and went passed the mark! Thank God! Many times during the week, when I'd thought, this is IT. God would bring in people to buy stuff and the sales would go up. Thank God for His blessings..=)
Still, I think I must learn to give thanks and be joyful in ALL circumstances. Be the sales good or bad. I have so much to learn!=)
Thank God for what had happened just now. There was this customer who expressed interest in a bracelet. He commented on the price. I told him that it was imported from the U.S, thus, the higher price. He said he don't care where we import our things from. The normal me would have bristled at his words, but strangely I wasn't much affected and even had a clear mind to ask God for help and patience. Previously, I'd most probably had flared up or something. But just now, I even smiled nicely and served him with politeness. Even I was surprised. Later, when he had paid for the bracelet, I'd wanted to give him the receipt, but he said, no need, as there weren't any guarantee anyway (he's referring to exchange). Through out the whole exchange, I didn't make a rude face or speak in a less than polite tone. I was slighly surprised. It was like, somehow, no matter what this guy did or can do, will ruffle my feathers.
Yep..=]
Thank God! Yes?
Yes!!!!!!!=)
Guess what?=) I had received my poly graduation photos!!! Yep!!!!!!!!
YAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is a long story..Ronny had offered to ask his father to pass the photos order form to the photo studio staff, after I had missed out on it. After a few days, I think about a week, when he and Angeline came to my work place, to collect the stuff that he had helped her do, he told me that he had forgotten to give the order form to his father. I freaked out, mildly. Yep. He told me that he had called the photo studio to inform them and had brought stamps so that he could help me post the form, except that he'd no envelope. In the end, I took back the form and the offered stamps. I intended to post them as soon as possible. But somehow, someway, I had only posted the order form last Sunday. Yep. Last Sunday. 2 months late. As I posted the form, I wondered if I would really get my graduation photos and expected the staff to call me, telling me that they are sorry, but it had been too long and they had dumped the negatives. But, I got a pleasant surprise when I walked in the door just now. My 3rd sister told me that there was something for me.
Surprise. Surprise. It was my photos!=)
Yep. Yep.
I am very glad to get them, though the photos were less than flattering.
One was taken quite nicely, but my eyes were closed. The other one, was a small compensation, my eyes were half-opened, but the angle of the camera wasn't that good.
Duh.
Never mind.
I don't mind. I am very grateful to be able to get my graduation photos..=D
Thank God!
Light my path
11:05:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Tuesday, 13 September 2005
Sales was quite bad yesterday. Real bad. It was the 2nd lowest sales record that I had, ever since I worked here in March. From what I heard, the other shops didn't fare very well too. This gave me some sense of relief, not much, but still there.
As I opened for business today, I wondered how would the sales be like, for today. I aimed for at least $200. I was optimistic. Around 1710, a lady came to exchange a shirt. It was 2 months after she bought the shirt. I told her that she couldn't exchange it. I had thought that, that would be it. But, instead she asked to see a shirt. In the end, she bought 2 shirts! Thank God!! Right???=P
It was evening time and the neighoburing pushcart had made around $200 while mine was only close to a hundred, the optimistic feelings dipped. The sales assistant working at the other pushcart told me that she hoped today's sales would be better. I was reminded that my hope is in Christ Jesus. I do not put my hope in something uncertain or an unknown somebody. My hope is in God and His saving grace. I was much comforted.
After the sales, it had grown quiet again. I was like, okie God, if You will, please let today's sales be better than yesterday's, let it at least be $100. It was still quiet, except for a girl who came to exchange a shirt. I resigned myself to what I had.
I went to get dinner when it was around 1920. When I finished eating, it was still quiet at the cart. I walked around and hummed some songs that came into mind. Around 2080, the sales started coming in. It's not like I was super busy, but people just come here and say, "I want this." Praise the Lord!! Yes???
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At the end of the day, sales was $231.40. Yep! Thank God!
There was a customer, who was trying to decide between what to buy. I was quite anxious to clinch the sale, as I hadn't sold any shirts at that time. I prayed to God for help. After the sale was clinched, I was quite happy. Not only because I'd managed to sell 2 shirts, but because, I hadn't experienced this feeling in a long time. This total dependancy on God. It was really great.
The following are the lyrics to the songs which had been in my head all day..=)
Shout to the Lord
My Jesus, My Saviour
Lord there is none like You
All of my days,
I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love
My Comfort, My Shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You
(chorus)
Shout to the Lord, all the earth
Let us sing.
Power and majesty, praise to the King.
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You
My Jesus, My Saviour
Lord there is none like You
All of my days, I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love
My Comfort, My Shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You
Mourning into Dancing
Where there once was only hurt
He gave His healing hand
Where there once was only pain
He brought comfort like a friend
I feel the sweetness of His love
Piercing my darkness
And I see the bright and morning sun
As it ushers in His joyful gladness
chorus:
He's turned my mourning into dancing again
He's lifted my sorrows
I can't stay silent
I must sing for His joy has come
His anger lasts for a moment in time
But His favor is here
And will be on me for all my lifetime
As I opened for business today, I wondered how would the sales be like, for today. I aimed for at least $200. I was optimistic. Around 1710, a lady came to exchange a shirt. It was 2 months after she bought the shirt. I told her that she couldn't exchange it. I had thought that, that would be it. But, instead she asked to see a shirt. In the end, she bought 2 shirts! Thank God!! Right???=P
It was evening time and the neighoburing pushcart had made around $200 while mine was only close to a hundred, the optimistic feelings dipped. The sales assistant working at the other pushcart told me that she hoped today's sales would be better. I was reminded that my hope is in Christ Jesus. I do not put my hope in something uncertain or an unknown somebody. My hope is in God and His saving grace. I was much comforted.
After the sales, it had grown quiet again. I was like, okie God, if You will, please let today's sales be better than yesterday's, let it at least be $100. It was still quiet, except for a girl who came to exchange a shirt. I resigned myself to what I had.
I went to get dinner when it was around 1920. When I finished eating, it was still quiet at the cart. I walked around and hummed some songs that came into mind. Around 2080, the sales started coming in. It's not like I was super busy, but people just come here and say, "I want this." Praise the Lord!! Yes???
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At the end of the day, sales was $231.40. Yep! Thank God!
There was a customer, who was trying to decide between what to buy. I was quite anxious to clinch the sale, as I hadn't sold any shirts at that time. I prayed to God for help. After the sale was clinched, I was quite happy. Not only because I'd managed to sell 2 shirts, but because, I hadn't experienced this feeling in a long time. This total dependancy on God. It was really great.
The following are the lyrics to the songs which had been in my head all day..=)
Shout to the Lord
My Jesus, My Saviour
Lord there is none like You
All of my days,
I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love
My Comfort, My Shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You
(chorus)
Shout to the Lord, all the earth
Let us sing.
Power and majesty, praise to the King.
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You
My Jesus, My Saviour
Lord there is none like You
All of my days, I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love
My Comfort, My Shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You
Mourning into Dancing
Where there once was only hurt
He gave His healing hand
Where there once was only pain
He brought comfort like a friend
I feel the sweetness of His love
Piercing my darkness
And I see the bright and morning sun
As it ushers in His joyful gladness
chorus:
He's turned my mourning into dancing again
He's lifted my sorrows
I can't stay silent
I must sing for His joy has come
His anger lasts for a moment in time
But His favor is here
And will be on me for all my lifetime
Light my path
10:43:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Sunday, 11 September 2005
Distance
Looking into the grey skies above
I think of you,
Who was once far away.
In body, spirit, mind and heart.
But now that you are near,
Why couldn't I feel you?
The distance that was once so vast
Between us,
Had been shortened.
Yet it seems like you are light years away.
I can feel the distance,
Tugging at my heart strings.
Does your heart feel it too?
Do you feel the same?
I miss you.
Looking into the grey skies above
I think of you,
Who was once far away.
In body, spirit, mind and heart.
But now that you are near,
Why couldn't I feel you?
The distance that was once so vast
Between us,
Had been shortened.
Yet it seems like you are light years away.
I can feel the distance,
Tugging at my heart strings.
Does your heart feel it too?
Do you feel the same?
I miss you.
Light my path
1:14:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Saturday, 10 September 2005
Regrets
There are so much that I want to do
That I don't know where to start
How to start.
Wishes to realise and dreams to fulfil.
Promises to keep.
There is this anxiety within me
Restlessness gnawing at my being.
I tossed and turned every single night
Unable to drift off into oblivion.
Regrets I have.
So many of them.
Their numbers are like the stars above.
People to make peace with
And say "I'm sorry" to.
Courage to grasp opportunities
That dangled in my face
Time to know you better.
I'd have loved to know
As much of you as possible.
The nerve to express
My feelings to you.
Now, all that I can do
Is to remember them all
And lament at my folly.
There are so much that I want to do
That I don't know where to start
How to start.
Wishes to realise and dreams to fulfil.
Promises to keep.
There is this anxiety within me
Restlessness gnawing at my being.
I tossed and turned every single night
Unable to drift off into oblivion.
Regrets I have.
So many of them.
Their numbers are like the stars above.
People to make peace with
And say "I'm sorry" to.
Courage to grasp opportunities
That dangled in my face
Time to know you better.
I'd have loved to know
As much of you as possible.
The nerve to express
My feelings to you.
Now, all that I can do
Is to remember them all
And lament at my folly.
Light my path
11:53:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
*Don't read if you don't want to get offended. Be warned. I am serious. Too bad for you if you won't take my advice. Not my problem, remember that. I have warned you.*
Hmm...I hadn't really wanted to post, but I don't have anything to do. I hadn't wanted to post as I'm in a lousy mood, thus, I don't want to write down things that I'd regret later. But, guess what?
I don't care.
There are alot, alot of expletives that are threatening to come out from my fingers. I am struggling to hold them in. A whole string of them are just waiting, right at my fingertips. So don't mess with me.
I think I have better things to do than to waste my time with crappiness. I guess, I am still expressing my thoughts, in a round-about way. This is because, at the back of my mind, I don't really want to hurt those people. If ever, there is a day, when I start mentioning names, that would be the end. The last straw. For me.
Any thing you'd like to say, against my words. My reply is - I don't care. Not one iota. (I am dying, simply dying to use an expletive here, but I shan't. Though, you should know what I want to write.)
The reason why I didn't use foul words here is because it is ugly. In addition, God didn't give me talent in the writing department to use it like that.
Oh ya...stop giving me crap about my blog, like how you can't read properly. I've tried my best to make it readable. So, deal with it. If you don't like it, well, just click the little X at the top right hand corner of the window and never come back, and you'd be fine...=) Righto.
Oh ya.
Stop complaining about the infrequency of my updates. This is my blog and I will do as I deem fit. If I want to update everyday, that is my problem. If I want to update once a year, that is my problem. If I want to update once every 10 year, that too, is my problem. If I want to write and write and write and write and write lengthy entries, that too is my business. I don't see why it concerns you. As I had said, deal with it, or get out. Stop complaining or commenting on something which you have no business in.
Just stop giving me crap.
Hmm...I hadn't really wanted to post, but I don't have anything to do. I hadn't wanted to post as I'm in a lousy mood, thus, I don't want to write down things that I'd regret later. But, guess what?
I don't care.
There are alot, alot of expletives that are threatening to come out from my fingers. I am struggling to hold them in. A whole string of them are just waiting, right at my fingertips. So don't mess with me.
I think I have better things to do than to waste my time with crappiness. I guess, I am still expressing my thoughts, in a round-about way. This is because, at the back of my mind, I don't really want to hurt those people. If ever, there is a day, when I start mentioning names, that would be the end. The last straw. For me.
Any thing you'd like to say, against my words. My reply is - I don't care. Not one iota. (I am dying, simply dying to use an expletive here, but I shan't. Though, you should know what I want to write.)
The reason why I didn't use foul words here is because it is ugly. In addition, God didn't give me talent in the writing department to use it like that.
Oh ya...stop giving me crap about my blog, like how you can't read properly. I've tried my best to make it readable. So, deal with it. If you don't like it, well, just click the little X at the top right hand corner of the window and never come back, and you'd be fine...=) Righto.
Oh ya.
Stop complaining about the infrequency of my updates. This is my blog and I will do as I deem fit. If I want to update everyday, that is my problem. If I want to update once a year, that is my problem. If I want to update once every 10 year, that too, is my problem. If I want to write and write and write and write and write lengthy entries, that too is my business. I don't see why it concerns you. As I had said, deal with it, or get out. Stop complaining or commenting on something which you have no business in.
Just stop giving me crap.
Light my path
1:17:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Thursday, 8 September 2005
Every night, I'd pass by my secondary school. I'd feel a twinge of sadness and nostalgia, now and then. But, tonight, as the bus driver drove by my old school, I felt more than a twinge. The buildings that I'd spent 4 years in, were gone. They were torn down and the new buildings were built right beside the previous site. In its place, was nothing. Just a plain. Really gone. I remembered the classes. The music room. Home Economics room. Computer labs. One of my favourite place - the library. The technical workshops, where all the machines had been. I had been scared the first time that I'd to use a drilling machine. The toilet, a place that was once a source of pain, yet a refuge...(Jimmy would know..I'd told him that story before.) The staff room. The hall, where we had Chinese Dance practices, slogging to look graceful and effortless when dancing. The backstage, the stairs leading to the stage and the stage itself. The classrooms where I'd spent countless hours in. The windows. The tables and chairs. The wind blowing through the class, luring one's gaze to another world. The truimphs and disappointments. I remember the feeling of them all. The scratching of pens on paper, the silence, an occasional sniffle or cough, shuffling of feet and shifting of chairs, during the examinations. The thumping of my heart, the dread or the smug confidence, when the results were out. The fun. The joy. The anger. The confusion. The pain. The loneliness. The betrayal. The tears. The fears. The feeling of being unwanted, un-needed.
There's really, really, really, really alot of memories. Really alot. Remembering them, makes me want to laugh, cry and cover my face with embarrassment.
Just this one place, evoked thousands of memories. A world that is unique to me, alone. Of all the schools that I'd been in, my secondary school is the one which holds the most important place in my heart. Actually, I'd have been happy to forget all about my days inside. Most weren't happy times. But, it held my heart, not because of the pain. But because, that was the place, where I transited from a kid to a teenager. A child to a young adult. This is why. From one world, to another.
I don't mean for this entry to be so sad, or anything.
I'm merely reminiscing. About the days of old. My history of youth and recklessness, which can never be re-lived again.
Today's sales was good. Thank God! He provides! My Jehovah Jireh.
I wish to give thanks to the Lord for the little episode that happened right before I closed for the day. I had set aside a handphone pouch for Alvin. It is very cute and I thought that he'd love it, thus I'd decided to buy it and give it to him this saturday. Around 2050, all of a sudden, it was quite busy. People came, one after another to buy shirts. By the time I was done serving the customers and keeping the clothes, it was almost time to close shop. I looked for the handphone pouch, intending to peel off the price tag. To my dismay and horror, I couldn't find it!!!!!!!!!!! I panicked. Thoughts ran through my brain in lightspeed. Did I accidentally give it to one of the customers? Did I dump it when I threw away some plastic bags? Was it on the floor? Was it under the cart? Was it with the clothes that I'd just put away? Was it pushed into a corner, between the shelves?
I searched through the drawers and the clothes that I'd just kept, the floor, under the cart, all to no avail. I was thoroughly dismayed. Either I had dumped it, or else I'd unknowingly given it to one of my customers. I had really wanted to give it to Alvin and that it is really cute. Feeling rather disappointed, I turned to go to the rubbish bin to dump some receipts. I looked to my left and guess what I saw?
Yep.
I saw the handphone pouch sticking out from the back of a set of plastic drawers that I'd put on the chair. If I hadn't looked down at that moment, I'd have missed it.
As I pounced on the handphone pouch, I gave thanks to the Lord. I'd felt really glad and thankful and blessed. So much so that I skipped over the the girl working in the neighbouring pushcart and told her all about it. She said that I was lucky, but I said "Thank God. Thank God!"
Ah...so glad.....=D
It may be a small thingy, but I am sure glad! All thanks to the Lord!=)
There's really, really, really, really alot of memories. Really alot. Remembering them, makes me want to laugh, cry and cover my face with embarrassment.
Just this one place, evoked thousands of memories. A world that is unique to me, alone. Of all the schools that I'd been in, my secondary school is the one which holds the most important place in my heart. Actually, I'd have been happy to forget all about my days inside. Most weren't happy times. But, it held my heart, not because of the pain. But because, that was the place, where I transited from a kid to a teenager. A child to a young adult. This is why. From one world, to another.
I don't mean for this entry to be so sad, or anything.
I'm merely reminiscing. About the days of old. My history of youth and recklessness, which can never be re-lived again.
Today's sales was good. Thank God! He provides! My Jehovah Jireh.
I wish to give thanks to the Lord for the little episode that happened right before I closed for the day. I had set aside a handphone pouch for Alvin. It is very cute and I thought that he'd love it, thus I'd decided to buy it and give it to him this saturday. Around 2050, all of a sudden, it was quite busy. People came, one after another to buy shirts. By the time I was done serving the customers and keeping the clothes, it was almost time to close shop. I looked for the handphone pouch, intending to peel off the price tag. To my dismay and horror, I couldn't find it!!!!!!!!!!! I panicked. Thoughts ran through my brain in lightspeed. Did I accidentally give it to one of the customers? Did I dump it when I threw away some plastic bags? Was it on the floor? Was it under the cart? Was it with the clothes that I'd just put away? Was it pushed into a corner, between the shelves?
I searched through the drawers and the clothes that I'd just kept, the floor, under the cart, all to no avail. I was thoroughly dismayed. Either I had dumped it, or else I'd unknowingly given it to one of my customers. I had really wanted to give it to Alvin and that it is really cute. Feeling rather disappointed, I turned to go to the rubbish bin to dump some receipts. I looked to my left and guess what I saw?
Yep.
I saw the handphone pouch sticking out from the back of a set of plastic drawers that I'd put on the chair. If I hadn't looked down at that moment, I'd have missed it.
As I pounced on the handphone pouch, I gave thanks to the Lord. I'd felt really glad and thankful and blessed. So much so that I skipped over the the girl working in the neighbouring pushcart and told her all about it. She said that I was lucky, but I said "Thank God. Thank God!"
Ah...so glad.....=D
It may be a small thingy, but I am sure glad! All thanks to the Lord!=)
Light my path
10:56:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Sunday, 4 September 2005
How Great is Our God
The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in Light,
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God
Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end
The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb
Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God
This song - How Great is Our God by Chris Tomlin, we sang it in church this morning..=) I love the chorus. Today's sermon talked about people, who in spite of suffering great loss, like death of loved ones, can and will still trust in the Lord. With tears running down his face, a man who had lost his whole family during the Tsunami, he said he don't understand why this happened to him, loss of land, loss of home, loss of family - wife, 2 kids and mother, but he said "I will trust in God." It takes alot to say these 5 words. Yet he said it.
Remember the high school shooting? A girl was asked, "Do you know God?" She said, "Yes" and was shot (not a fatal one). The shooter went away, shot at other people before coming back to her and asked,"Do you know God?" Again, she said,"Yes." She was shot in her leg, chest and finally her head.
I am thoroughly amazed by these 2 people. But, I am sure that there are many more out there. After going through so much, this man, with raw pain in his heart and soul, deep sorrow and grief that can't be put to words, yet he said, "I will trust in God." This girl, her life was on the line, she could say, "No" and save her life. But she said, "Yes." I wonder, how much did it take for her to say that one word? One word, small enough, but enough to decide her life and death. At this moment, I am reminded that "All things work together for the good of those who love Him" and "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life".
Hearing about these 2 person, makes me wish and want to be able to say, "I will trust in God" and "Yes, I know Jesus Chirst", no matter the circumstances. I don't know how to explain this feeling of mine. But it is simply great, amazing. The words these 2 person spoke. It makes me wonder, what goodness has the Lord shown in their lives that gives them this confidence and trust to speak such words?
Why are they able to speak like that?
Do you understand this feeling inside of me?
I want to be able to say it like that:
"I trust in God."
"I know Jesus Christ."
No matter what situation I may be in.
I want. I want. I want.
There is this aching desire, hunger, to want, to be able to be like these 2 persons.
I Will Trust in Thee
With tears running down my face,
Deep-sitted pain in my heart and soul
I cry, I do not understand Your way
I do not know why this must happen
This senseless loss of innocence gone.
I cry. I cry.
No words to left to say.
None can take their place.
One moment they are here,
And gone, the other.
Black and white.
Hot and cold.
Life and death.
Here and gone.
I cry. I cry.
I do not understand.
I do not understand.
I just want them back.
Bring them back.
The waves brought them away.
Day after day,
Standing in the midst of the rolling waves,
I waited and waited.
Waited for the waves to bring them back.
I waited and waited.
Waited and waited.
No one came back.
In the midst of such incredible loss and sorrow
I heard some one weeping.
He is crying with me.
For my loss and grief.
In this world of aching loss,
Where not many understands
And many try to use
Useless words to comfort
He understands.
Oh Lord!!
I do not understand!
I do not understand.
My heart cries within me,
And this deep ache in my soul,
I say, "I trust in Thee."
The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in Light,
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God
Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end
The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb
Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God
This song - How Great is Our God by Chris Tomlin, we sang it in church this morning..=) I love the chorus. Today's sermon talked about people, who in spite of suffering great loss, like death of loved ones, can and will still trust in the Lord. With tears running down his face, a man who had lost his whole family during the Tsunami, he said he don't understand why this happened to him, loss of land, loss of home, loss of family - wife, 2 kids and mother, but he said "I will trust in God." It takes alot to say these 5 words. Yet he said it.
Remember the high school shooting? A girl was asked, "Do you know God?" She said, "Yes" and was shot (not a fatal one). The shooter went away, shot at other people before coming back to her and asked,"Do you know God?" Again, she said,"Yes." She was shot in her leg, chest and finally her head.
I am thoroughly amazed by these 2 people. But, I am sure that there are many more out there. After going through so much, this man, with raw pain in his heart and soul, deep sorrow and grief that can't be put to words, yet he said, "I will trust in God." This girl, her life was on the line, she could say, "No" and save her life. But she said, "Yes." I wonder, how much did it take for her to say that one word? One word, small enough, but enough to decide her life and death. At this moment, I am reminded that "All things work together for the good of those who love Him" and "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life".
Hearing about these 2 person, makes me wish and want to be able to say, "I will trust in God" and "Yes, I know Jesus Chirst", no matter the circumstances. I don't know how to explain this feeling of mine. But it is simply great, amazing. The words these 2 person spoke. It makes me wonder, what goodness has the Lord shown in their lives that gives them this confidence and trust to speak such words?
Why are they able to speak like that?
Do you understand this feeling inside of me?
I want to be able to say it like that:
"I trust in God."
"I know Jesus Christ."
No matter what situation I may be in.
I want. I want. I want.
There is this aching desire, hunger, to want, to be able to be like these 2 persons.
I Will Trust in Thee
With tears running down my face,
Deep-sitted pain in my heart and soul
I cry, I do not understand Your way
I do not know why this must happen
This senseless loss of innocence gone.
I cry. I cry.
No words to left to say.
None can take their place.
One moment they are here,
And gone, the other.
Black and white.
Hot and cold.
Life and death.
Here and gone.
I cry. I cry.
I do not understand.
I do not understand.
I just want them back.
Bring them back.
The waves brought them away.
Day after day,
Standing in the midst of the rolling waves,
I waited and waited.
Waited for the waves to bring them back.
I waited and waited.
Waited and waited.
No one came back.
In the midst of such incredible loss and sorrow
I heard some one weeping.
He is crying with me.
For my loss and grief.
In this world of aching loss,
Where not many understands
And many try to use
Useless words to comfort
He understands.
Oh Lord!!
I do not understand!
I do not understand.
My heart cries within me,
And this deep ache in my soul,
I say, "I trust in Thee."
Light my path
8:52:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Friday, 2 September 2005
Freedom
The bright shining sun
Is giving off its golden light.
Beaming warmly upon all the earth.
Gusts of strong wind quietly came
Rustling skirts and teasingly caressed the hair of many.
Every leaf upon the tree
And every little blade of grass on the field
Danced to its own little melody.
Each is different and unique,
Yet came together in beauty and harmony.
The flowers by the roadside
Nodded their heads excitedly, in greeting.
The very essence of the air
Is filled with warmth and joy.
With the sweet, oh so sweet promise
Of joy and jublance.
Looking at all these
Made me weep.
All these beauty and euphoria
Reminded me of what I do not have.
Freedom.
The freedom to join in nature's dance.
To sing and shout with pure joy.
I weep.
I weep.
The bright shining sun
Is giving off its golden light.
Beaming warmly upon all the earth.
Gusts of strong wind quietly came
Rustling skirts and teasingly caressed the hair of many.
Every leaf upon the tree
And every little blade of grass on the field
Danced to its own little melody.
Each is different and unique,
Yet came together in beauty and harmony.
The flowers by the roadside
Nodded their heads excitedly, in greeting.
The very essence of the air
Is filled with warmth and joy.
With the sweet, oh so sweet promise
Of joy and jublance.
Looking at all these
Made me weep.
All these beauty and euphoria
Reminded me of what I do not have.
Freedom.
The freedom to join in nature's dance.
To sing and shout with pure joy.
I weep.
I weep.
Light my path
11:48:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Well..how is it?? I'm sure the first thing that you noticed, after reaching my blog, is the complete change, right??=p I'd spent the almost the whole of my off-day revamping my blog. It was 1/4 done on Saturday..I left it hanging as I'd to go to church for service..And I'd been working since Sunday (and sick), so I didn't have any chance to finish my work.
How do you people find it??=) I'm quite happy with the overall results, though there are a few areas which can be made better, but because after spending the whole day testing and doing trial and error, yet without success, I gave up and let them be. Oh well..=)
I'd been on the Net since waking up this morning, around 930am, till now, 1130pm..ha...How quickly the day flies!=D
I am very much thankful and grateful for an extra day off. For I am very drained and tired of working. Nowadays, it is just a drag to me. So, from now on, I'd only be working from Mon to Thurs! Yippee!! Though this means less income and it does stings more than a little, but I really can't go on like this, working 5 days, non-stop for 11 hours. But one more off-day, doesn't mean that I am going to idle it off...at least I'd try my best not to. I am planning to use this extra time to immerse myself in the Lord, to soak up His presence.
Please keep me in your prayers, if you remember me..=)
*Direction in future
*Persevere in spending time with the Lord
*Find joy in my work
*Be to Christ-like
*Obedient to God
*Sensitive to the Lord's guidance
*Love God
Hmm...I'd finally found the song that we sung in church, two weeks ago - Agnus Dei. Turns out, I have this song on my laptop! Bah. I heard it while I was fiddling with my blog. Thank God!=)
Here are the lyrics.......=p
Alleliua, Alleliua
For our Lord God Almighty reigns
Alleliua, Alleliua
For our Lord God Almighty reigns
Holy, Holy
Are You Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb
You are Holy
Holy are You Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb
Amen
How do you people find it??=) I'm quite happy with the overall results, though there are a few areas which can be made better, but because after spending the whole day testing and doing trial and error, yet without success, I gave up and let them be. Oh well..=)
I'd been on the Net since waking up this morning, around 930am, till now, 1130pm..ha...How quickly the day flies!=D
I am very much thankful and grateful for an extra day off. For I am very drained and tired of working. Nowadays, it is just a drag to me. So, from now on, I'd only be working from Mon to Thurs! Yippee!! Though this means less income and it does stings more than a little, but I really can't go on like this, working 5 days, non-stop for 11 hours. But one more off-day, doesn't mean that I am going to idle it off...at least I'd try my best not to. I am planning to use this extra time to immerse myself in the Lord, to soak up His presence.
Please keep me in your prayers, if you remember me..=)
*Direction in future
*Persevere in spending time with the Lord
*Find joy in my work
*Be to Christ-like
*Obedient to God
*Sensitive to the Lord's guidance
*Love God
Hmm...I'd finally found the song that we sung in church, two weeks ago - Agnus Dei. Turns out, I have this song on my laptop! Bah. I heard it while I was fiddling with my blog. Thank God!=)
Here are the lyrics.......=p
Alleliua, Alleliua
For our Lord God Almighty reigns
Alleliua, Alleliua
For our Lord God Almighty reigns
Holy, Holy
Are You Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb
You are Holy
Holy are You Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb
Amen
Light my path
11:23:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Hi there!!=D
Good little duckie!=)
Beautiful background
Let's see...it's like this..and like that...
We are HUNGRY!!
What's in THAT corner??
A table of pretty sisters..*whispers* SY, I want a taste of your chocolate milkshake.
Cool and handsome?
Alvin's evil eye...
Meet Alvin!=) He's a very nice guy!! Very, very nice!
I'm stuffed - Mei Hu
Deborah and I
New phone??
Let's get ready.....*sly grin*
What's the joke??=)
Fight!!
Almost the end...
END!!
Light my path
7:03:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
26 July 2005. A happy day! Thank You, God for giving me this day!
A grown-up now..*Look ma! I am sitting upright!*
Are we done yet?? *Mentally yawns...Oppz..*
Bringing you the latest news..There is a group of 4 crazy young adults out in the night. One of which is dressed in formal. Beware.
Student and teacher moment!
Who is this guy?? Where is the REAL presenter??!
Sorry, I left my formal at home. By the way, congrats!
Trying to look engaged in a tug of war. And failing miserably. *Shouts* Try harder!!! I didn't pay you for this miserable act!!
Peace..
A group photo
Another groupie
I am FIXING my eyes on you. *White-hot glare*
Practicing hand-eye coordination
Let me join you toO! Look here, ya dimwits, this is how it is done. Saw it? Now go practice!
A grown-up now..*Look ma! I am sitting upright!*
Are we done yet?? *Mentally yawns...Oppz..*
Bringing you the latest news..There is a group of 4 crazy young adults out in the night. One of which is dressed in formal. Beware.
Student and teacher moment!
Who is this guy?? Where is the REAL presenter??!
Sorry, I left my formal at home. By the way, congrats!
Trying to look engaged in a tug of war. And failing miserably. *Shouts* Try harder!!! I didn't pay you for this miserable act!!
Peace..
A group photo
Another groupie
I am FIXING my eyes on you. *White-hot glare*
Practicing hand-eye coordination
Let me join you toO! Look here, ya dimwits, this is how it is done. Saw it? Now go practice!
Light my path
5:35:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
the girl
An easy-going gal who thinks and agonizes too much. Weird personality. Not an easy person to love, but desires to be loved. Jesus Christ is my Lord!
addicts
chocolate. reading. writing.
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"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:30
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Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9
A psalm of David.
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
"Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"
Jeremiah 33:3