`` my daily journey. [#] `-
Light my path
12:23:00 am
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Light my path
12:53:00 pm
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Light my path
12:36:00 am
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Light my path
9:54:00 am
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Light my path
10:54:00 pm
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Light my path
10:53:00 pm
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Light my path
1:35:00 am
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Light my path
1:24:00 am
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Light my path
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Light my path
1:30:00 am
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Light my path
11:35:00 pm
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Light my path
12:05:00 am
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Light my path
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Sunday, 28 August 2005
Your only Son
No sin to hide
But You have sent Him,
From Your side
To walk upon this guilty sod
And to become the Lamb of God
Your gift of Love
They crucified
They laughed and scorned him as he died
The humble King
They named a fraud
And sacrificed the Lamb of God
Chorus:
Oh Lamb of God, Sweet lamb of God
I love the Holy Lamb of God
Oh wash me in His precious Blood
My Jesus Christ the Lamb of God
I was so lost I should have died
But You have brought me to Your side
To be led by Your staff and rod
And to be called a Lamb of God
Chorus:
Oh wash me in His precious Blood
My Jesus Christ the Lamb of God
I find this song very beautiful. I sang it in church last week. I especially like this part - "I was so lost I should have died. But You have brought me to Your side". It is like speaking about me.
No sin to hide
But You have sent Him,
From Your side
To walk upon this guilty sod
And to become the Lamb of God
Your gift of Love
They crucified
They laughed and scorned him as he died
The humble King
They named a fraud
And sacrificed the Lamb of God
Chorus:
Oh Lamb of God, Sweet lamb of God
I love the Holy Lamb of God
Oh wash me in His precious Blood
My Jesus Christ the Lamb of God
I was so lost I should have died
But You have brought me to Your side
To be led by Your staff and rod
And to be called a Lamb of God
Chorus:
Oh wash me in His precious Blood
My Jesus Christ the Lamb of God
I find this song very beautiful. I sang it in church last week. I especially like this part - "I was so lost I should have died. But You have brought me to Your side". It is like speaking about me.
Light my path
12:23:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Saturday, 27 August 2005
In this world, of so many people,
It is hard to find my own place.
There are so many wonderful people around
That I feel kinda small and insignificant.
Do I matter?
Who would mourn if I am gone?
I am just a normal girl,
With the usual dreams and girly fantasies.
I am not quiet and gentle
Like the pretty and soft-spoken girl
Across the street.
I am not active and sporty
Like the all-rounder athletic
In my class.
I am not smart and articulate
Like the top-scorer of the school.
I am not well-behaved
Like the little girl with doe-like eyes
I am not endowed
With beauty or brains
Or a gentle and beautiful personality.
Despite all these,
I am just a normal girl,
With the usual dreams and girly fantasies.
I have a heart that can be broken.
I want to be loved and cherished.
Be well-liked by those
Whom I care for very much.
I want to be like Cinderella
Who met her Prince Charming in the ball
And married him, living happily ever after.
I am just a normal girl,
With the usual dreams and girly fantasies.
Please don't break my heart.
I will cry.
In this world, of so many people,
It is hard to find my own place.
There are so many wonderful people around
That I feel kinda small and insignificant.
Like the ugly little duckling
That bloomed into a magnificent swan
When spring arrived.
And the crescent moon
That turns full and beautiful
Giving off a graceful and gentle light
I wish to be like that too.
Bloom and blossom.
I am just a normal girl,
With the usual dreams and girly fantasies.
I may not look like it
But I have a very fragile heart.
So please cherish me
And take care of this fragile heart of mine.
If you don't love me
Please don't play with my heart.
I am just a normal girl,
With the usual dreams and girly fantasies.
I may not look like it
But I am very fragile at heart.
This heart of mine
I give unto your hands,
Please don't shatter it,
For I am just a normal girl,
With the usual dreams and girly fantasies.
I will cry.
It is hard to find my own place.
There are so many wonderful people around
That I feel kinda small and insignificant.
Do I matter?
Who would mourn if I am gone?
I am just a normal girl,
With the usual dreams and girly fantasies.
I am not quiet and gentle
Like the pretty and soft-spoken girl
Across the street.
I am not active and sporty
Like the all-rounder athletic
In my class.
I am not smart and articulate
Like the top-scorer of the school.
I am not well-behaved
Like the little girl with doe-like eyes
I am not endowed
With beauty or brains
Or a gentle and beautiful personality.
Despite all these,
I am just a normal girl,
With the usual dreams and girly fantasies.
I have a heart that can be broken.
I want to be loved and cherished.
Be well-liked by those
Whom I care for very much.
I want to be like Cinderella
Who met her Prince Charming in the ball
And married him, living happily ever after.
I am just a normal girl,
With the usual dreams and girly fantasies.
Please don't break my heart.
I will cry.
In this world, of so many people,
It is hard to find my own place.
There are so many wonderful people around
That I feel kinda small and insignificant.
Like the ugly little duckling
That bloomed into a magnificent swan
When spring arrived.
And the crescent moon
That turns full and beautiful
Giving off a graceful and gentle light
I wish to be like that too.
Bloom and blossom.
I am just a normal girl,
With the usual dreams and girly fantasies.
I may not look like it
But I have a very fragile heart.
So please cherish me
And take care of this fragile heart of mine.
If you don't love me
Please don't play with my heart.
I am just a normal girl,
With the usual dreams and girly fantasies.
I may not look like it
But I am very fragile at heart.
This heart of mine
I give unto your hands,
Please don't shatter it,
For I am just a normal girl,
With the usual dreams and girly fantasies.
I will cry.
Light my path
12:53:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Hmm...Didn't really want to update....I'm sleepy...ha..
Well...things got off on a weird start...Ronny was late *again* in meeting Angeline. They had arranged to meet together to come to my house. He SMSed me to say that his father is making him go and celebrate his grandmother's birthday...and that he'd SMSed Angeline too. Some thing seemed off to me. He said he'd SMSed Angeline. Shouldn't he had called her?? Who knows when she will check her handphone? Nevertheless, I called Angeline and asked her how? Does she still want to come my house? Or I can go out with her. She told me that she'd confirm again.
Some time later, she called me, asking what was my unit number. I knew then, that she had reached. But I was like..how did she know her way? Did she take a cab? As, it wasn't long before that I had called her.
I opened the door to see 3 grinning faces.
Bah.
It was Angeline, Ronny and Daryl (Ronny's friend, neighbour and same camp).
Duh.
What a surprise.
Heh.
They had pulled one over me.
Bleah!
Never knew that Angeline holds grudge. (For the time when Ronny and I pulled her leg - my involvement percentage was quite low...like 10%, while 90% was Ronny)
From this, I'd learnt some things. Beware of Angeline, you'd never know when she'll strike back. And....never trust Ronny's words.
Yep.
On to the tennis lesson!
I am glad that Ronny asked his friend to come. It was easier to teach us. As usal, being the clusmy, slow, bumbling, lousy ball sense, bad hand-eye coordination and slow reflexes, Hazel, it took a long time for the 2 tennis players to nod to my serves. I felt really stupid. Ha..but there wasn't much time to muse on such things as I was busy picking up balls and trying to learn better, so as not to annoy the others with my slow progress. I hate being slow and dragging others down.
We played for around 2 hours, or slightly more. At the end of it, though I was ready for more, it was time to leave. I am glad to say that, under the pointers of my teachers, I had gotten better. Yippee!!
Yep.
I'll persevere on!
Though my badminton isn't great and it took me quite awhile to get the hang of it, I can hold my own alright on the court, due to Daniel's patience and effort in teaching me, when we were year one...=) Thank you, Daniel!=D
I can't wait for my next tennis lesson!=D I can't wait to improve and get better!=p
Well...things got off on a weird start...Ronny was late *again* in meeting Angeline. They had arranged to meet together to come to my house. He SMSed me to say that his father is making him go and celebrate his grandmother's birthday...and that he'd SMSed Angeline too. Some thing seemed off to me. He said he'd SMSed Angeline. Shouldn't he had called her?? Who knows when she will check her handphone? Nevertheless, I called Angeline and asked her how? Does she still want to come my house? Or I can go out with her. She told me that she'd confirm again.
Some time later, she called me, asking what was my unit number. I knew then, that she had reached. But I was like..how did she know her way? Did she take a cab? As, it wasn't long before that I had called her.
I opened the door to see 3 grinning faces.
Bah.
It was Angeline, Ronny and Daryl (Ronny's friend, neighbour and same camp).
Duh.
What a surprise.
Heh.
They had pulled one over me.
Bleah!
Never knew that Angeline holds grudge. (For the time when Ronny and I pulled her leg - my involvement percentage was quite low...like 10%, while 90% was Ronny)
From this, I'd learnt some things. Beware of Angeline, you'd never know when she'll strike back. And....never trust Ronny's words.
Yep.
On to the tennis lesson!
I am glad that Ronny asked his friend to come. It was easier to teach us. As usal, being the clusmy, slow, bumbling, lousy ball sense, bad hand-eye coordination and slow reflexes, Hazel, it took a long time for the 2 tennis players to nod to my serves. I felt really stupid. Ha..but there wasn't much time to muse on such things as I was busy picking up balls and trying to learn better, so as not to annoy the others with my slow progress. I hate being slow and dragging others down.
We played for around 2 hours, or slightly more. At the end of it, though I was ready for more, it was time to leave. I am glad to say that, under the pointers of my teachers, I had gotten better. Yippee!!
Yep.
I'll persevere on!
Though my badminton isn't great and it took me quite awhile to get the hang of it, I can hold my own alright on the court, due to Daniel's patience and effort in teaching me, when we were year one...=) Thank you, Daniel!=D
I can't wait for my next tennis lesson!=D I can't wait to improve and get better!=p
Light my path
12:36:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Friday, 26 August 2005
Ahh....I'm feeling so HAP-PY!! So RE-LAXED!! HAP-PPPPPPY! *singing off-tune* Cuz today's MY OFF DAY!=D
Yep.
It's been so long that I'd lost count as to when was the last time I sat around doing nothing on my day off...
I am now on MSN chatting with an ex-colleague, we had gotten to know each other through the 3-day course that we had to go. She is 2 years younger than me..
We were chatting about work and school...but somehow, it had gone on to my life in poly..all those unhappy moments..ha..weird.
I hadn't wanted to blog....(too lazy), but, oh well, I am sure that you people had missed me, so I guess I had to reward you for your faithfullness..right??=p *don't hit me!!*
Hmm...Have I told you guys about the poem that I had submitted to my church? It had gotten selected and will be displayed together with all other works that had been selected, during one of the services. I am glad..=) So, I'd like to invite you to my church on 10 September 2005, Saturday at 1700. Come..okie?=) This is not to show off what had been done, but to share with you waht the Lord has done in my life and this is the piece of work testifying to His goodness and there will be plenty of other works too...not only poems..but song lyrics...banners...
Yep.
I'm going to go jogging later and practise on my tennis shots..seem like there's not much sun...good time! Now, I'll get going....if I can drag myself away from this laptop........hee..
Together with Angeline, we'll be learning tennis from Ronny, this evening..=)
Yep.
It's been so long that I'd lost count as to when was the last time I sat around doing nothing on my day off...
I am now on MSN chatting with an ex-colleague, we had gotten to know each other through the 3-day course that we had to go. She is 2 years younger than me..
We were chatting about work and school...but somehow, it had gone on to my life in poly..all those unhappy moments..ha..weird.
I hadn't wanted to blog....(too lazy), but, oh well, I am sure that you people had missed me, so I guess I had to reward you for your faithfullness..right??=p *don't hit me!!*
Hmm...Have I told you guys about the poem that I had submitted to my church? It had gotten selected and will be displayed together with all other works that had been selected, during one of the services. I am glad..=) So, I'd like to invite you to my church on 10 September 2005, Saturday at 1700. Come..okie?=) This is not to show off what had been done, but to share with you waht the Lord has done in my life and this is the piece of work testifying to His goodness and there will be plenty of other works too...not only poems..but song lyrics...banners...
Yep.
I'm going to go jogging later and practise on my tennis shots..seem like there's not much sun...good time! Now, I'll get going....if I can drag myself away from this laptop........hee..
Together with Angeline, we'll be learning tennis from Ronny, this evening..=)
Light my path
9:54:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Monday, 22 August 2005
Wander. Wander.
Wonder. Wonder.
I am walking and walking.
Wandering and wondering
When will I come to a place
Where I can stop.
From day to day,
I wandered and wondered.
This anguish is eating me up.
When?
When will I be able to stop this aimless wandering?
When will I be able to stop wondering?
Days turned to weeks.
And weeks to months.
Dissatisfaction and unfulfillment
Are making me all antsy and frustrated.
What is missing?
Where should I be?
What should I do?
Where am I?
In the midst of this restlessness,
I can hear a voice calling me,
"Wait for the Lord."
It encourages.
"Be strong and take heart
And wait for the Lord."
These words!
Oh how these words comforted me!
They calmed the storm of inner turmoil
And soothed my pounding head.
Bringing peace to my frustrated
And restless heart.
Yes, I will hope in You, Lord Jesus.
For You are my light and salvation.
Come, Lord Jesus.
Come.
Be my God.
Wonder. Wonder.
I am walking and walking.
Wandering and wondering
When will I come to a place
Where I can stop.
From day to day,
I wandered and wondered.
This anguish is eating me up.
When?
When will I be able to stop this aimless wandering?
When will I be able to stop wondering?
Days turned to weeks.
And weeks to months.
Dissatisfaction and unfulfillment
Are making me all antsy and frustrated.
What is missing?
Where should I be?
What should I do?
Where am I?
In the midst of this restlessness,
I can hear a voice calling me,
"Wait for the Lord."
It encourages.
"Be strong and take heart
And wait for the Lord."
These words!
Oh how these words comforted me!
They calmed the storm of inner turmoil
And soothed my pounding head.
Bringing peace to my frustrated
And restless heart.
Yes, I will hope in You, Lord Jesus.
For You are my light and salvation.
Come, Lord Jesus.
Come.
Be my God.
Light my path
10:54:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Saturday, 20 August 2005
Hmm...I'd started my day by going running this morning, followed by a bath and QT with the Lord. After which, I got ready for work. Today was my last day. I'd 2 jobs and I quitted one. It was werid at work today. There was a mix-up, thus too many people arrived for the morning shift, while for the afternoon shift, there were only 2 people. I didn't had much to do today, as there was a new staff, thus, my last duty was to train her. Ahh....it was a weird experience..I had never done it before. But, I tried my best to teach her all that I know...hope that she'd be able to remember the important parts..There's a limit to how much one can grasp within a day.
I was worried when it was time for me to knock off, but the staff who's supposed to take over from me, hadn't reached. Another colleague began to comment that this person has a habit of being late and would sometimes not come at all. I began to grow more worried. I am supposed to meet Sebastian today, for bible study and tennis.
But thank God, my colleague arrived, thus, after counting the cash and settling some stuff, I was able to leave...=) Thank God too for this small thing - despite having 4 people handling the cash register, at the end of my shift, the cash actually balanced!!=) Thank God for it! I don't know if you understand how I feel. But, I am glad to be able to leave behind a nice record on my last day.
I went home after work and went online while doing my Purpose Driven Life. I did day 6 and day 7 together...oppzZZ...hee......=p
Chatted online with Ronny...then went to meet Sebastian. We started on our bible study. I'd learnt some stuff from him. He told me that, in his opinion, the reason men wanted to leave forever, is love, because we all want to be with the loved ones around around us.
We started playing tennis around 1920. Or rather, I started learning tennis. Not playing. Not yet. I was lousy, couldn't serve well and the balls kept flying into the wrong court and I couldn't return Sebastian's serves. Ah well.....but I am learning and is better now, at serving. If only, I can return the serves better...Hmm..but i'll be patient..for this is only my 2nd time playing tennis. The first time was in poly, when I was year 2 or year 3...Together with Angeline, we learnt a little from Ronny. The only thing I remembered from the training, was that Ronny kept telling me that I am "slicing". Sobzz...Angeline fared much better...She has a much better ball sense..
We went to Thomson Plaza and ate at KFC before calling it a night...=)
I am now online and getting some tips on tennis from Ronny.
I was worried when it was time for me to knock off, but the staff who's supposed to take over from me, hadn't reached. Another colleague began to comment that this person has a habit of being late and would sometimes not come at all. I began to grow more worried. I am supposed to meet Sebastian today, for bible study and tennis.
But thank God, my colleague arrived, thus, after counting the cash and settling some stuff, I was able to leave...=) Thank God too for this small thing - despite having 4 people handling the cash register, at the end of my shift, the cash actually balanced!!=) Thank God for it! I don't know if you understand how I feel. But, I am glad to be able to leave behind a nice record on my last day.
I went home after work and went online while doing my Purpose Driven Life. I did day 6 and day 7 together...oppzZZ...hee......=p
Chatted online with Ronny...then went to meet Sebastian. We started on our bible study. I'd learnt some stuff from him. He told me that, in his opinion, the reason men wanted to leave forever, is love, because we all want to be with the loved ones around around us.
We started playing tennis around 1920. Or rather, I started learning tennis. Not playing. Not yet. I was lousy, couldn't serve well and the balls kept flying into the wrong court and I couldn't return Sebastian's serves. Ah well.....but I am learning and is better now, at serving. If only, I can return the serves better...Hmm..but i'll be patient..for this is only my 2nd time playing tennis. The first time was in poly, when I was year 2 or year 3...Together with Angeline, we learnt a little from Ronny. The only thing I remembered from the training, was that Ronny kept telling me that I am "slicing". Sobzz...Angeline fared much better...She has a much better ball sense..
We went to Thomson Plaza and ate at KFC before calling it a night...=)
I am now online and getting some tips on tennis from Ronny.
Light my path
10:53:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Saturday, 13 August 2005
Ah...I groan and moan
Crushed under this burden of mine
It is so stifling that I cant breathe anymore.
Lord, I am weighed down
By my sins and shame.
My pain is increasing tenfold, moment by moment.
I cant survive under this crushing weight.
Help me, Lord!
You said, "Come to Me, all you who are weary
And burdened and I will give you rest."
Here am I, Lord!
I am trading my sorrows,
I am trading my shame,
I am trading my pain.
I am laying them all down for the joy of my Lord.
What is this that I am feeling?
What is this feeling inside of me?
I am feeling so light, so free
That I can fly on wings of freedom!
I am trading my sorrows,
I am trading my shame,
I am trading my pain.
I am laying them all down for the joy of my Lord.
Oh, I feel like dancing,
And I dont care what the world thinks
For it is right to praise the Lord
And I am using my dance to worship Him
For my Jesus has set me free!!
I am throwing down my burdens,
I am ditching the world's yoke.
I am laying them all down for the yoke of the Lord.
Crushed under this burden of mine
It is so stifling that I cant breathe anymore.
Lord, I am weighed down
By my sins and shame.
My pain is increasing tenfold, moment by moment.
I cant survive under this crushing weight.
Help me, Lord!
You said, "Come to Me, all you who are weary
And burdened and I will give you rest."
Here am I, Lord!
I am trading my sorrows,
I am trading my shame,
I am trading my pain.
I am laying them all down for the joy of my Lord.
What is this that I am feeling?
What is this feeling inside of me?
I am feeling so light, so free
That I can fly on wings of freedom!
I am trading my sorrows,
I am trading my shame,
I am trading my pain.
I am laying them all down for the joy of my Lord.
Oh, I feel like dancing,
And I dont care what the world thinks
For it is right to praise the Lord
And I am using my dance to worship Him
For my Jesus has set me free!!
I am throwing down my burdens,
I am ditching the world's yoke.
I am laying them all down for the yoke of the Lord.
Light my path
1:35:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Friday, 12 August 2005
Tired. Tired. Tired.
I am so tired.
Can anyone understand?
My soul is weary. My heart is aching.
Every inch of me is bone-weary.
Where can I find release
From this snare of the heart?
I am sitting alone in the café.
Waiting for you to show up.
The door opened and closed and got stuck.
Looking at the opened door,
I wondered if you would be the one to walk in
Or will I be the one to walk out?
Tired. Tired. Tired.
I am so tired.
So weary.
I had always thought that
As long as I keep loving you
It would be enough to keep things going,
And my hopes high.
But sitting here alone,
Makes me feel tired
And a deep ache within
This heart of mine is overwhelming me.
I wanna cry but no tears would come.
This is killing me.
I am slowly dying inside.
If you cant love me,
Then let me go.
I cant keep this up anymore.
I don wanna walk away from this pain
Cuz the sight of you
Still gives me the floaty feeling.
But I cant hold on much longer.
Love me, now.
Or I am gonna walk out of this door.
Cuz boy, as much as I love you,
I need to be released from this snare
That is holding me back.
I am so tired.
Can anyone understand?
My soul is weary. My heart is aching.
Every inch of me is bone-weary.
Where can I find release
From this snare of the heart?
I am sitting alone in the café.
Waiting for you to show up.
The door opened and closed and got stuck.
Looking at the opened door,
I wondered if you would be the one to walk in
Or will I be the one to walk out?
Tired. Tired. Tired.
I am so tired.
So weary.
I had always thought that
As long as I keep loving you
It would be enough to keep things going,
And my hopes high.
But sitting here alone,
Makes me feel tired
And a deep ache within
This heart of mine is overwhelming me.
I wanna cry but no tears would come.
This is killing me.
I am slowly dying inside.
If you cant love me,
Then let me go.
I cant keep this up anymore.
I don wanna walk away from this pain
Cuz the sight of you
Still gives me the floaty feeling.
But I cant hold on much longer.
Love me, now.
Or I am gonna walk out of this door.
Cuz boy, as much as I love you,
I need to be released from this snare
That is holding me back.
Light my path
1:24:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
You smile at me.
Laugh with me.
Joke with me.
You spend time with me.
But girl, stop and take a deep breath.
Look at yourself.
Though your smiles are sweet,
Your laughter beautiful to hear
And your jokes make me doubled over
And how wonderful is your company!!
But there is a thing lacking.
Where is your heart?
Where is your soul?
You put in everything you have.
You gave me your all.
But girl, you never gave your heat and soul.
Though, day in day out,
You are by my side,
Your heart is far away.
Your soul longs to be free.
My girl, let me set you free!
For you'd never leave on your own.
Go girl! Be free!
Soar into the air,
With wings of the eagle.
And reach for your dreams.
But no matter how far you'd flown,
remember me gently.
Laugh with me.
Joke with me.
You spend time with me.
But girl, stop and take a deep breath.
Look at yourself.
Though your smiles are sweet,
Your laughter beautiful to hear
And your jokes make me doubled over
And how wonderful is your company!!
But there is a thing lacking.
Where is your heart?
Where is your soul?
You put in everything you have.
You gave me your all.
But girl, you never gave your heat and soul.
Though, day in day out,
You are by my side,
Your heart is far away.
Your soul longs to be free.
My girl, let me set you free!
For you'd never leave on your own.
Go girl! Be free!
Soar into the air,
With wings of the eagle.
And reach for your dreams.
But no matter how far you'd flown,
remember me gently.
Light my path
1:00:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Thursday, 11 August 2005
What is this feeling inside of me?
Why is my heart going on overdrive?
And my face red, like a tomato?
Boy, you have got my signals all mixed up.
Is this love? I wonder.
All the signs are there.
I wanna help fulfil all your dreams
And remain by your side till the end of time.
Is this love?
Cuz all the signs are there
Boy, I have had this feeling for so long.
That I really dont wanna give up on you.
Cuz I wanna wait for the day
When you will turn to me
And say I love you.
Is this love?
I am not sure, but all the signs are there. (I think).
Am I living in a dream
That will never come true?
Or in denial?
The feelings have been there for so long.
What is there left,
When I surrender?
I dont mind the time spent
And feelings given away
But one thing I cant bear
Is realizing that
My feelings for you
Are not what I had thought them to be
Cuz I cant bear to give you up.
Cuz I cant bear to lead you on.
Tell me. Anyone.
Tell me.
Is this love?
Cuz all the signs are there.
Please tell me that it is
For I cant bear it if it aint
Tell me. Tell me.
Please tell me.
Tell me. Tell me.
Please tell me.
Please tell me the truth.
Why is my heart going on overdrive?
And my face red, like a tomato?
Boy, you have got my signals all mixed up.
Is this love? I wonder.
All the signs are there.
I wanna help fulfil all your dreams
And remain by your side till the end of time.
Is this love?
Cuz all the signs are there
Boy, I have had this feeling for so long.
That I really dont wanna give up on you.
Cuz I wanna wait for the day
When you will turn to me
And say I love you.
Is this love?
I am not sure, but all the signs are there. (I think).
Am I living in a dream
That will never come true?
Or in denial?
The feelings have been there for so long.
What is there left,
When I surrender?
I dont mind the time spent
And feelings given away
But one thing I cant bear
Is realizing that
My feelings for you
Are not what I had thought them to be
Cuz I cant bear to give you up.
Cuz I cant bear to lead you on.
Tell me. Anyone.
Tell me.
Is this love?
Cuz all the signs are there.
Please tell me that it is
For I cant bear it if it aint
Tell me. Tell me.
Please tell me.
Tell me. Tell me.
Please tell me.
Please tell me the truth.
Light my path
1:30:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Wednesday, 10 August 2005
Hmm...It had been so time since I updated, right?? Well, let me do it now..Read below..=p
Sebastian came to visit me at work yesterday. He stayed from 1500 till 2200...Yep..So good, right?? It was good spending time with him..=) We talked about alot of stuff..Relationships..God..Spiritual growth..Buying of shirts...Questions regarding the bible...my personality...blah..
He spent the whole afternoon and night at my work place...Thank you, Sebas!!!=) Really, really, really, really appreciate your action...He even helped me when I was busy serving customers...=) And he bought a shirt too........ha...So those people out there.....you know what to do...ya??=p
After closing shop, we went to eat Mcdonald's....I ordered my favourite - Double Cheeseburger Meal..Yum! Yum!!!!! I was good...I didn't touch a drop of chilli...Yep..=) I've learnt my lesson. My sore throat has been plaguing me for more than a week. This is abnormal..Haiz. It is still hurting now..Sobzzzz...
Upon reaching home, I went online and Angeline told me about Zhan Mei Zhi Quan. They are having their own Festival of Praise from this wednesday to friday!!! Yep!! We are going for the one on thursday...=) Yep! Ronny, Angeline and I will be going..ah...I can't wait!!The sales for these two days had been not bad...=) Yep.
Hmm...Today...quite alot of things happened at work..The board that was at the front of the pushcart just collasped. Bah..I had placed my drink there. The drink was, of course, without saying, gone. And I hadn't even had a sip!! Bah!! It was one of my favourite drink - Lemon Lime Juice, from Mcdonald's. Sobzzz.....And I had to clean up the mess. Heh. Haiz.
Just thank God that I hadn't put the radio on the shelf, yet.
Anyway, after much blah..blah stuff...it collasped again. Just when I was very busy. I was serving 3 groups of customers, all who wanted to buy shirts. And this time, when the board collasped, the radio was on it. I was like.......oh NO!!!!! I am busy...and the board collasped, with the radio on it..and the boxes containing the buttons were on the floor...
Thank God that, in this time of need, a staff from OP came to help me pick up the stuff and fix the board...she even told me to go and do my stuff, whilst she fix the board...=)In short, all ended well..=p
Funnily, I was busy during the day and early evening, but night came, I was quit free..From all these, I learnt that I shouldn't had always been looking forward to night time (cuz that's when people knocked off from work), for the sales to increase. I had learnt to treasure every sale that was given to me by God and thank Him for it, moment by moment. Just for that moment, I thank God for the sale, not looking back or looking to the unknown night.
Ah...my throat hurts...Hmmm...I don't know why, but recently I'd encounters with people who have some thing to say about Christianity or the Bible. Like my Team Leader at my previous work place and now a cab-driver.
This driver said that Jesus is a vegetarian and that when He gave bread to the disciples, He made the fish to be bread. He believed that the commandment, "Thou shall not murder" extends to not killing animals. He said that we were created to eat only the greens. This I agree, Adam and Eve ate only greens before the fall, but, after the fall, (if I remember correctly, God gave the creatures in the sea and land, to them for food.) I even showed him the verse, Genesis 9:1-4. Still he insisted that he was right and even pointed that that the verse, "Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything" refers to all plants...Bah.
Remember that he said Jesus is a vegetarian? When I told him many, many times that He ate fish (Luke 24:40-43) and even gave His disciples to eat them too (John 21:13), he said that Jesus is the Son of God, of course He do that (that - referring to the act of eating fish). Isn't he contradicting himself? He had said that Jesus is a vegetarian. Now he said that Jesus can eat fish, because He is the Son of God.
When I showed him John 21:13, he insisted that "Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish." means that Jesus gave His disciples the bread and somehow made the fish to be bread.
For the first time, have I ever met anyone who is completely and utterly blind to the gospel. When I was talking to him, I kept praying for God to teach me what to say and for God to lift this man's spiritual blindness.
I had felt helpless. I felt that I hadn't done enough. I feel a lack of knowledge. This was the same feeling that I experienced when I argued with my Team Leader. This feeling made me want to study the Bible thoroughly and I even considered going into Bible College. I just want to acquire this knowledge, so that in the future, when I meet such people, I'd know what to say, where to flip to and what to do and to show them the truth.
But I understand that, without God revealing the truth to them, even if I shout myself hoarse, they wouldn't listen. Listening to this man, reminded me of this verse "always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth" - 2 Tim 3:7.
I wonder...why had God sent these people into my path??Please pray for these two men, my Team Leader from my previous work place and this cab-driver that the veil that blinds them spiritually would be lifted...=) Thank you..
Gotta go...my throat hurts...
Sebastian came to visit me at work yesterday. He stayed from 1500 till 2200...Yep..So good, right?? It was good spending time with him..=) We talked about alot of stuff..Relationships..God..Spiritual growth..Buying of shirts...Questions regarding the bible...my personality...blah..
He spent the whole afternoon and night at my work place...Thank you, Sebas!!!=) Really, really, really, really appreciate your action...He even helped me when I was busy serving customers...=) And he bought a shirt too........ha...So those people out there.....you know what to do...ya??=p
After closing shop, we went to eat Mcdonald's....I ordered my favourite - Double Cheeseburger Meal..Yum! Yum!!!!! I was good...I didn't touch a drop of chilli...Yep..=) I've learnt my lesson. My sore throat has been plaguing me for more than a week. This is abnormal..Haiz. It is still hurting now..Sobzzzz...
Upon reaching home, I went online and Angeline told me about Zhan Mei Zhi Quan. They are having their own Festival of Praise from this wednesday to friday!!! Yep!! We are going for the one on thursday...=) Yep! Ronny, Angeline and I will be going..ah...I can't wait!!The sales for these two days had been not bad...=) Yep.
Hmm...Today...quite alot of things happened at work..The board that was at the front of the pushcart just collasped. Bah..I had placed my drink there. The drink was, of course, without saying, gone. And I hadn't even had a sip!! Bah!! It was one of my favourite drink - Lemon Lime Juice, from Mcdonald's. Sobzzz.....And I had to clean up the mess. Heh. Haiz.
Just thank God that I hadn't put the radio on the shelf, yet.
Anyway, after much blah..blah stuff...it collasped again. Just when I was very busy. I was serving 3 groups of customers, all who wanted to buy shirts. And this time, when the board collasped, the radio was on it. I was like.......oh NO!!!!! I am busy...and the board collasped, with the radio on it..and the boxes containing the buttons were on the floor...
Thank God that, in this time of need, a staff from OP came to help me pick up the stuff and fix the board...she even told me to go and do my stuff, whilst she fix the board...=)In short, all ended well..=p
Funnily, I was busy during the day and early evening, but night came, I was quit free..From all these, I learnt that I shouldn't had always been looking forward to night time (cuz that's when people knocked off from work), for the sales to increase. I had learnt to treasure every sale that was given to me by God and thank Him for it, moment by moment. Just for that moment, I thank God for the sale, not looking back or looking to the unknown night.
Ah...my throat hurts...Hmmm...I don't know why, but recently I'd encounters with people who have some thing to say about Christianity or the Bible. Like my Team Leader at my previous work place and now a cab-driver.
This driver said that Jesus is a vegetarian and that when He gave bread to the disciples, He made the fish to be bread. He believed that the commandment, "Thou shall not murder" extends to not killing animals. He said that we were created to eat only the greens. This I agree, Adam and Eve ate only greens before the fall, but, after the fall, (if I remember correctly, God gave the creatures in the sea and land, to them for food.) I even showed him the verse, Genesis 9:1-4. Still he insisted that he was right and even pointed that that the verse, "Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything" refers to all plants...Bah.
Remember that he said Jesus is a vegetarian? When I told him many, many times that He ate fish (Luke 24:40-43) and even gave His disciples to eat them too (John 21:13), he said that Jesus is the Son of God, of course He do that (that - referring to the act of eating fish). Isn't he contradicting himself? He had said that Jesus is a vegetarian. Now he said that Jesus can eat fish, because He is the Son of God.
When I showed him John 21:13, he insisted that "Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish." means that Jesus gave His disciples the bread and somehow made the fish to be bread.
For the first time, have I ever met anyone who is completely and utterly blind to the gospel. When I was talking to him, I kept praying for God to teach me what to say and for God to lift this man's spiritual blindness.
I had felt helpless. I felt that I hadn't done enough. I feel a lack of knowledge. This was the same feeling that I experienced when I argued with my Team Leader. This feeling made me want to study the Bible thoroughly and I even considered going into Bible College. I just want to acquire this knowledge, so that in the future, when I meet such people, I'd know what to say, where to flip to and what to do and to show them the truth.
But I understand that, without God revealing the truth to them, even if I shout myself hoarse, they wouldn't listen. Listening to this man, reminded me of this verse "always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth" - 2 Tim 3:7.
I wonder...why had God sent these people into my path??Please pray for these two men, my Team Leader from my previous work place and this cab-driver that the veil that blinds them spiritually would be lifted...=) Thank you..
Gotta go...my throat hurts...
Light my path
11:35:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Tuesday, 9 August 2005
I love to be in Your presence.
For in You, I find fullness of joy.
I love to be where You are,
Dwelling daily in Your presence.
Though I am no longer a child,
I love to sit upon Your knee
And asked to be petted on the head.
Before You, I am nothing.
I am neither a man nor a woman.
I am neither a master nor a slave.
I am neither rich nor poor.
I am just, a child.
Curious and inquisitive,
Desiring to be close with You
Wanting to stay in
Your loving arms forever.
I love to call Your Name.
Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Father, Friend,
Comforter, Helper,
Living Water, Cornerstone,
The Vine, The Lamb,
Rock of all ages.
Incomparable.
You are my all in all.
For in You, I find fullness of joy.
I love to be where You are,
Dwelling daily in Your presence.
Though I am no longer a child,
I love to sit upon Your knee
And asked to be petted on the head.
Before You, I am nothing.
I am neither a man nor a woman.
I am neither a master nor a slave.
I am neither rich nor poor.
I am just, a child.
Curious and inquisitive,
Desiring to be close with You
Wanting to stay in
Your loving arms forever.
I love to call Your Name.
Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Father, Friend,
Comforter, Helper,
Living Water, Cornerstone,
The Vine, The Lamb,
Rock of all ages.
Incomparable.
You are my all in all.
Light my path
12:05:00 am
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
Tuesday, 2 August 2005
Hmmm....if you don't know, I am now working a 5-day week. Ah...that means more income..Thank God!!=) Frankly, I think that working in the service line is really not my cup of tea. There are some things that I just can't "grin and bear with it". Yet, I don't know why, but ever since my first job in secondary 3 (remember Shuhui? Our first job together.), I've been in the service line. It is like, I am asking for it. But, I am not. Haiz. Ha...this is the first time that we are working, yet not in the same work place, except for the short time when the both of us held jobs during poly days...=) I remembered being fearful of getting a job without her, as we had spent alot of time working together and I was used to the feeling of working with her.
I have been feeling rather bored of my work, not that I don't enjoy it. I enjoy my work alot..=) Just that, at times, when it was quiet, I'd have this feeling of dissatisfaction. My inner being is screaming at me, "What are you doing here!!" I do like my job, great boss and all, but I am not fulfilled. I can't stand being alone and watching the crowd pass me by, it is like having the world pass me by.
Nevertheless, I am very thankful and grateful to the Lord for providing for me this job. His help was timed perfectly, it came just when I truly needed it most. Remember, back in April, that I mentioned about going for a course on knowing and exploring our spiritual giftings?? In one of the tests, it was shown that I am a task structed person. People like these are more goal-orientated, they are impatient with things or people that get in their way. I am orientated by doing things and prefers to stick closer to plans. Yup. Bulls-eye. I can turn very nasty when things are not going my way, as many had found out through the Poly 50. I follow rules and regulations. I want to wait for the traffic light to turn green. I will strictly follow instructions given to me. Ha...there were customers who called me inflexible. I don't care. I am not doing wrong. I am merely following my boss' instructions. The speaker said that he wouldn't want to work for people like me...haha...not good boss..=) Ya. I wouldn't want to be one, too stressful. Once I am stressed, I'd go all crazy. Yup.
I think the Lord has a purpose in putting me in this job. Perhaps I really need to work on my interpersonal skills. I can't behave like a "caveman" (remember who called me that, Shuhui??=p). In addition, maybe God is building up my patience. I don't dare to say that I've grown patient...Ah...but I am interested to know if I've become more patient..=D
Angeline and Ronny came by today. I just can't understand WHY. WHY must they meet at my working place, for Ronny to pass things to Angeline. WHY? WHY????!!!! WHY??????!!!!!!! Bah. This is illogical. Heh. My work place is not a meeting place, okie....heh...=)
Ronny bought dinner for the both of us (this was before Angeline arrived) and he ate my share of it, except for one fried item. That was probably because I had eaten it before he had gotten to it. Duh. Grrr........Heh. In the end, he helped me to look after the cart while I went to get my own dinner.
I bought 2 bangles from a neighbouring pushcart after I ended work. Someone from AMKMC called me regarding cell group matters. We arranged to meet up this saturday at 1500, before going for cell. I am not changing church, just keeping an open mind..=) Most probably, I will go for their cell group and attend service at Wesley. Or should I attend both at AMKMC for about a month first?? I am kind of missing my church...ha...
Oh ya...on Monday morning (1am), I submitted a piece of my work for the Creative Challenge that Wesley is holding. It was the last day for submission, thus I worked late to pull the words out. Thank God for the inspiration...=) It is not perfect...hmm...the first verse was quite nice...the rest was a bit...I don't know...I almost wanted to edit it and send them another one, especially when I called them and realized that the deadline had been extended by a week...Arrgggghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Haiz...T.T I think I'll submit another piece, one that I had written some time ago, in preparation for this event..The one that I had submitted was really last minute inspiration...ha..
I have been feeling rather bored of my work, not that I don't enjoy it. I enjoy my work alot..=) Just that, at times, when it was quiet, I'd have this feeling of dissatisfaction. My inner being is screaming at me, "What are you doing here!!" I do like my job, great boss and all, but I am not fulfilled. I can't stand being alone and watching the crowd pass me by, it is like having the world pass me by.
Nevertheless, I am very thankful and grateful to the Lord for providing for me this job. His help was timed perfectly, it came just when I truly needed it most. Remember, back in April, that I mentioned about going for a course on knowing and exploring our spiritual giftings?? In one of the tests, it was shown that I am a task structed person. People like these are more goal-orientated, they are impatient with things or people that get in their way. I am orientated by doing things and prefers to stick closer to plans. Yup. Bulls-eye. I can turn very nasty when things are not going my way, as many had found out through the Poly 50. I follow rules and regulations. I want to wait for the traffic light to turn green. I will strictly follow instructions given to me. Ha...there were customers who called me inflexible. I don't care. I am not doing wrong. I am merely following my boss' instructions. The speaker said that he wouldn't want to work for people like me...haha...not good boss..=) Ya. I wouldn't want to be one, too stressful. Once I am stressed, I'd go all crazy. Yup.
I think the Lord has a purpose in putting me in this job. Perhaps I really need to work on my interpersonal skills. I can't behave like a "caveman" (remember who called me that, Shuhui??=p). In addition, maybe God is building up my patience. I don't dare to say that I've grown patient...Ah...but I am interested to know if I've become more patient..=D
Angeline and Ronny came by today. I just can't understand WHY. WHY must they meet at my working place, for Ronny to pass things to Angeline. WHY? WHY????!!!! WHY??????!!!!!!! Bah. This is illogical. Heh. My work place is not a meeting place, okie....heh...=)
Ronny bought dinner for the both of us (this was before Angeline arrived) and he ate my share of it, except for one fried item. That was probably because I had eaten it before he had gotten to it. Duh. Grrr........Heh. In the end, he helped me to look after the cart while I went to get my own dinner.
I bought 2 bangles from a neighbouring pushcart after I ended work. Someone from AMKMC called me regarding cell group matters. We arranged to meet up this saturday at 1500, before going for cell. I am not changing church, just keeping an open mind..=) Most probably, I will go for their cell group and attend service at Wesley. Or should I attend both at AMKMC for about a month first?? I am kind of missing my church...ha...
Oh ya...on Monday morning (1am), I submitted a piece of my work for the Creative Challenge that Wesley is holding. It was the last day for submission, thus I worked late to pull the words out. Thank God for the inspiration...=) It is not perfect...hmm...the first verse was quite nice...the rest was a bit...I don't know...I almost wanted to edit it and send them another one, especially when I called them and realized that the deadline had been extended by a week...Arrgggghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Haiz...T.T I think I'll submit another piece, one that I had written some time ago, in preparation for this event..The one that I had submitted was really last minute inspiration...ha..
Light my path
10:38:00 pm
youdrovemydarknessaway`-//*
the girl
An easy-going gal who thinks and agonizes too much. Weird personality. Not an easy person to love, but desires to be loved. Jesus Christ is my Lord!
addicts
chocolate. reading. writing.
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"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:30
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Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9
A psalm of David.
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
"Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"
Jeremiah 33:3